Pandy realized Suzette was right: She couldn’t go on like this. “Jonny?” she asked, knocking on the bathroom door, and then angrily trying the knob when she heard him laughing inside. The door was locked; she pounded on it until he blithely opened it, still wearing a smile for whoever it was on the other end of the phone. Then his eyes focused on her, and his face twisted into that old puppy-dog expression that now made her sick. As he closed the door again, Pandy heard him hiss, “I don’t have much time.”
She stood there for a second, feeling too insulted to knock again.
Instead, she went into the kitchen and opened one of Jonny’s most expensive bottles of white wine. She tipped the bottle and poured herself a big, tall glass. She planned to sip in style while she girded herself for the inevitable confrontation. For surely it was coming. Just like that big fat pink cupcake of a storm that had brought them together in the first place.
That was only four years ago. And it was all so perfect at the beginning. Why had Jonny ruined it?
She took a gulp of wine, and hearing Jonny’s footsteps in the hall, braced herself.
He came around the corner and gave her what was now his usual look, the one she hated—a tight grimace of annoyance and incomprehension. Pandy had a nearly uncontrollable urge to throw her glass of wine in his face. Only some ancient code of propriety prevented her.
“I’ve had it!” she shouted. Taking a threatening step toward him, she spat, “Listen, buddy. I’m giving you one last chance. You agree to go to a marriage counselor, or else.”
Jonny was so arrogant, he actually hadn’t been expecting this. It was as if he had no idea she’d ever been unhappy. This was the only way she could explain his stunned expression. Which went on for several seconds, as if he were seeing his life pass before his eyes. He was such a narcissist, Pandy thought.
And picking up her purse and slinging it over her shoulder, she realized she couldn’t even be bothered to hear his answer. Yanking open the door, she shouted angrily that she was going to go stay with one of her “buddies” while he thought about it.
She hadn’t gotten more than two blocks before Jonny called. And trying to laugh it all off, he convinced her to come home.
Where, sipping the wine she had poured him earlier, he contritely agreed to see a therapist. Pandy was so floored, she barely registered Jonny going back into the bathroom to make another call. Then she realized that she needed to make a call as well. Grateful that Jonny was in the bathroom, she went into the bedroom and, in hushed tones, explained every detail to Suzette.
“This is amazing,” Suzette shrieked. “Your marriage can still be saved.”
And once again, because there was still some stubborn piece of that stupid fairy tale hidden away inside her—like a gold crown secreted inside a piece of Mardi Gras king cake—Pandy convinced herself it was going to be all right.
And then the dam broke and relief flooded in when she realized that the fact that she and Jonny were seeing a marriage counselor gave her an excuse to tell her friends the truth about her marriage: It wasn’t perfect after all.
In fact, at times it wasn’t even that great. But the good news was that while she and Jonny had grown apart, they’d realized it just in time and were going to fix things. Once again, all her friends were thrilled for her. All except Henry.
“I don’t like it,” he’d said warningly.
“Well, everyone else does,” Pandy said, not having the patience for a naysayer at the moment.
“My guess is that he’s placating you.”
“Men hate shrinks. And if there’s anything Jonny is, it’s a man. I promise you, he really wants to make this marriage work.”
“I’m sure he does. After all, it’s worked very well for him so far, hasn’t it?” Henry drawled ominously. “He has everything he wants. Technically, he’s married, and yet he conducts his affairs like a single man.”
“That isn’t true,” Pandy snapped. Angered by Henry’s unhelpful perspective, she recalled what Jonny had said about Henry being like a character in an old black-and-white movie.
The shrink asked: “Why did you fall in love with Jonny?”
The question reminded Pandy of all those meetings with editors and studio executives when they talked about male characters. The biggest question in the room was always: “Why did she fall in love with him if he turns out to be so awful in the end?”
And despite hours spent debating the topic, there was only one answer: He wasn’t like that when she fell in love with him.
Or was he, and she just didn’t know it yet?
But she was there to save her marriage, not ruin it. So she told the truth: “I thought he was the love of my life.”
“And why was that?” the shrink asked.
“We seemed to understand each other. I mean, it was like all I had to do was think about him and he’d be there. Like one time, there was this snowstorm, and Jonny showed up. With a prosciutto—”
“So it was the prosciutto that did the trick?” the shrink asked, in an attempt at levity.
“It’s always the prosciutto, Doc,” Jonny quipped.
And right on cue, the shrink laughed.
And then Pandy laughed. And since Jonny was already laughing, for the first time in a very long time, they were laughing together.
They talked a little more, and then the shrink put forth his theory. Here were two people who were used to admiration and respect. They were used to being known. Neither one of them considered themselves ordinary, but this was nothing exceptional because every person considers himself extraordinary. They believed in the fate of their own good luck, and that they deserved good fortune.
But then, real life intervened. After a while, the excitement about the marriage calmed down. It no longer caused so much attention, and then she and Jonny went back to doing what they did best: their careers.
And this was the problem. For a lot of couples, ambition and love didn’t go together.
The shrink told them to go home and talk about it.
Unfortunately, that conversation never happened, because Jonny had squeezed in the shrink appointment right before his flight back to Vegas. Pandy told him she didn’t mind, and gave him a long kiss goodbye. As she went into the loft, she looked around at the beautiful furnishings, at the kitchen, at all the things they’d managed to create together. She was suddenly convinced that she wanted her marriage to work. She would do anything to make it happen.
And then, after she and Jonny had a couple of long chats on the phone, she felt that there was really nothing wrong with their relationship that a little communication couldn’t fix. Perhaps they didn’t even need the shrink after all.
When Jonny returned home, it was he who insisted they go back. In their new spirit of communication, he said, “See? This is the problem I have with you. You say you’re going to do something for our marriage, and then you don’t.”
Pandy looked at him with tempered surprise, determined to make an effort to keep her excessive emotions in check, as the shrink had also suggested. “Everything I do is for our marriage,” she said quietly. While Jonny’s comment naturally reminded her of all the money she’d given him, she managed to stay calm.
Jonny did too. “I don’t care either way.” He shrugged and gave her a deliberate smile. “I’m only going along to support you. I know you want to fix yourself, and you need me there.”