She came outside with him. The air was still warm, and a limpid breeze shook the leaves of nearby trees. She didn't have much of a view - more apartment buildings, mostly dark, directly opposite - and then Calle Ocho behind, almost deserted. It was still way quieter than Ocean Drive, where no one ever seemed to sleep if there was an argument to be had or a fight to be fought.
'You know, every day when I leave my home I know there's some poor bastard doin' the same thing, only they won't be comin' back,' Max said. 'They'll get caught in crossfire between rival posses of cocaine cowboys, or else some young kid'll roll up on 'em and blast 'em just to watch 'em fly in the air. That's the way it's gettin' around here now thrill kills, killing for kicks and braggin' rights. And that's a family they've left behind who'll look to me for answers, who'll look to me to put things right. And that's my job.
What I signed up for. Makin' things right.
'I know I ain't ever gonna make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. I'm past that rookie idealism.
(ime goes up, not down. Guns get bigger, more powerful, hold more bullets, kill more people. But in the end, if I can bring a little peace of mind to some dead person's wife or husband, if their kids can grow up knowing that the scumbag who killed their mommy or daddy's dead or in jail for life, I hen it's worth it. And that's what keeps me goin', no matter
3'3 how jaded I sometimes get. That's what keeps me goin'
every second of every day.'
She didn't say anything. She just moved a little closer to him and leant her head on his shoulder and they stood there together in silence while he finished his cigarette.
They went back inside and carried on talking. Personal stuff, trivial stuff. They joked and laughed a lot. With Sandra, Max felt happier and more relaxed and comfortable than he'd been since he could remember.
And then she asked him what had been bugging him over lunch.
He thought about it for a second, how he'd never brought his job into his private life, how he'd refused to talk about any of it with any of the women he'd been involved with.
He'd kept it to himself and in the end it was all they'd left him with - the stuff that never got mentioned. He decided then that more than anything, he wanted Sandra in his life and he wanted her to stay.
Yesterday me and Joe got a call about a multiple homicide in Overtown. Whole family had been shot. Six bodies. But there was this young couple, boyfriend and girlfriend. They were holding hands. And from the way they were, I could see the girl had got shot first and the guy had lain down right next to her and taken hold of her hand. And that's how he died.'
'He couldn't live without her,' Sandra said.
'That's what I thought too. He musta really loved her.
Literally the love of his life. And I also thought ' but he stopped talking, realizing how sick the words he was about to say might sound.
'What?'
'You don't wanna know'.
'Max,' Sandra took his hand, 'we're both adults and we both know what's happening here. If we're gonna have any kind of relationship it's got to be about sharing and honesty
34 and openness. You'll tell me about your day, I'll tell you about mine. I don't want you keeping anything from me.'
'My part's gonna be difficult, Sandra.'
'Why?'
'There's things about me you'd be best off not knowing.'
'Past stuff?'
'Yeah.' Max nodded.
'You a dirty cop?'
'I don't think I am. But I've gone through bad to get to good. Sometimes you have to in this job. Sometimes you got no choice. Well, you do. You can walk away. But I ain't the kind that walks away.'
'I figured that,' she said.
'OK.' He took a deep breath, as though he was getting ready for a high dive into a bottomless pool. 'I'll tell you what I thought when I saw that couple. I thought that coulda been you and me down there. That I woulda done the same as the guy.'
'That's a sweet thought,' she said.
'That's a sick thought,' he corrected her.
'It's a hitgothic, I agree.' She smiled. 'And you barely know me.'
'Cop's instinct,' he said.
'I thought that just worked on bad guys.'
'When I'm off-duty it works the other way.'
She laughed and put her arms around him. They hugged and then they kissed.
'You taste like an ashtray.'
'Who told you to lick 'em?'
She burst out laughing. Her laughter filled the room and drowned out the music. Her laughter made him laugh too.
When they'd recovered she leant her head against his shoulder and took his hand. They stayed there like that, staring into space together. The music stopped without them noticing.
3M ŚI!
He realized she'd dozed off. He listened to her breathing in his ear, felt her gently rise and fall against his arm. He smelled her hair and his nose filled with faint traces of perfume and coconut.
At around 4 a.m. he fell asleep himself.
When he woke up two hours later he heard the shower going. After she was done she made them both breakfast of tostada and cafe con leche, which they ate at the living-room table. Max imagined every day being like this with her.
An hour later they walked back to where they'd parked their cars on South West 8th. They'd exchanged numbers.
Max wanted to see her again that same night, but he knew he couldn't because he'd lost time on the Moyez case.
Before they parted she kissed him on the lips. Like the first time, he watched her pull away before getting into his car. And like the first time, he had the same stupid smile on his face.
He had an hour or two before he was due to punch in.
He thought of going over to the garage, but he needed a shower and a change of clothes and he wanted to stay in this special moment and savour it for a while longer.
As he headed down Calle Ocho he turned on the radio and got the news. A cop had been killed in Overtown the day before. Police were looking for a tall, light-skinned black man in a white Crown Victoria.
Back at his apartment, Max had just finished getting dressed when the phone rang. It was Raquel.
'That sample you gave me yesterday. We located our mystery bean.'
'Shoot,' Max said, riffling through his notepad for a clean page.
'It's a calabar bean.' She spelled it for him. 'Two uses: one jood, one bad. It produces an alkaloid called physostigmine,
which is used to treat glaucoma and is found in over-thecounter eyedrops.
'The bean on its own is highly toxic. It was used to expose those suspected of witchcraft, when it was commonly known as the Ordeal Bean. The person under suspicion would be forced to eat half a bean. If the person vomited, he or she was deemed to be innocent because their bodies had rejected it. If the person died then they were guilty. Most people died.