But Louise ignored Saito completely.
You kissed me and now dismiss me? If this isn't rude, I don't know what is.Really, who are they?! I'm scared. I want to go home right this minute. I just want to go home and go on the computer. Saito thought. He had just registered with a dating site, so he wanted to check his e-mail.
“You have failed 'Summon Servant' many times, but you have managed to succeed with 'Contract Servant' in one try.” Colbert said happily.
“It's just because he's only a commoner.”
“If he was a powerful magical beast, she wouldn't have been able to make a contract.”
Some of the students laughed.
Louise scowled at them. “Don't make fun of me! Even I do things right once in a while!”
“Truly 'once in a while', Louise the Zero.” Laughed a girl with gorgeous curly hair and freckles on her face.
“Mr. Colbert! Montmorency The Flood just insulted me!”
“Who are you calling 'The Flood'? I'm Montmorency the Fragrance!”
“I heard that you used to wet the bed like a flood, didn't you? 'The Flood' suits you better!”
“I hadn't expected better manners from Louise the Zero.”
“Watch it! Nobles ought to show each other the proper respect.” The middle-aged wizard cosplayer interjected.
What are they talking about? What contract? Who are they calling a servant?
Suddenly, Saito's body started to heat up.
“Aaah!” Saito stood up. “I'm burning up!”
“It will be over soon; just wait. The Familiar's Runes are being inscribed.” Louise said, irritated.
“Stop it! What are you doing to me?!”
There is nothing I can do, but I can't just lie around quietly. It is unbelievably hot!
“By the way.”
“What?”
“Why do you allow yourself, a commoner, to use that kind of language in front of nobles?”
The burning sensation lasted only for a second. His body rapidly cooled down.
“That was quick…” The middle-aged cosplay wizard, known as Colbert, approached the kneeling Saito and checked the back of his left hand. There, jumping out at him, were unfamiliar letters.
Are those runes? It looks like a wriggling snake in some strange pattern. Saito stared at it and thought, If this isn't a trick, then what is it?
“Hmmm… These are very unusual Runes,” said the middle-aged wizard impersonator.
At this point, Saito suddenly lost it. “Who are you people?!” he yelled out, but no one reacted.
“Well, let's go back to class, everyone.”
The middle-aged cosplay wizard turned on his heel, then rose gently into the air. Saito gaped after him. Is… Is he really flying? Is he floating in the air?Unbelievable! The other people who looked like students also floated up.
It can't be! The whole lot of them? One person could rise up into the air by some trick, but so many? Saito looked for wires or even a crane, but the surrounding area was just a large grassy plain. There was nothing to suggest that any tricks or setups were used.
Everyone who was floating quietly moved towards the stone walls of the castle in the distance.
“Louise, you'd better walk back!”
“She shouldn't try to fly. She can't even manage levitation.”
“A commoner is perfect as your familiar!” the students jeered as they flew away.
The only ones left behind were Saito and the girl named Louise.
As soon as it was only the two of them, Louise took a deep breath, turned toward Saito, and yelled, “Who are you?!”
That made Saito mad. That's my line! he thought.
“Who are you ? Where is this place?! Who were all those people?! Why can they fly ?! What did you do to my body?!”
“I don't know what backwoods you came from, but all right, I will explain it to you.”
“Backwoods? This is the backwoods! Tokyo is nothing like this!”
“Tokyo? What is that? What country is it in?”
“Japan.”
“Never heard of it.”
“Oh please! But why are they flying?! You saw it too! They flew! They all did!”
But Louise took no notice of it at all, as if to say, “What's wrong with flying?”
“Of course they flew. What would we do if mages couldn't fly?”
Saito grabbed Louise's shoulders and yelled, “Mages? Where the hell am I?!”
“This is Tristain! And this is the renowned Tristain Academy of Magic!”
“Academy of Magic?”
“I'm a second year student, Louise de La Vallière. I am your master from now on. Remember that!”
All of Saito's fire suddenly disappeared. He was starting to get a really bad feeling about the situation. “Uh… Miss Louise…”
“What?”
“Did you really summon me here?”
“That's what I've been telling you over and over again. I can't believe you're that dense. Why does my familiar have to be so uncool… I wanted to have something wicked like a dragon or a griffin or a manticore. At least an eagle or an owl.”
“A dragon or a griffin? Really?”
“Yeah, those would be totally cool familiars.”
“Do they actually exist?”
“They do. Why?”
“You've gotta be kidding me,” Saito said, laughing. But Louise didn't seem to be joking.
“Well, you've probably never seen them before,” Louise said seriously, pity in her voice.
The mages who had flown away and the fantasy words they used suddenly connected.
He felt a chill run down his spine, and broke out in a cold sweat. “Maybe… These people, they really flew, didn't they? Are you really witches and wizards?”
“Of course we are! Now, let go of my shoulders! You shouldn't even be talking to me!”
“A dream… This has to be a dream…” Slowly, his strength left him, and Saito fell to his knees.
“Louise,” he said with a weak voice.
“Don't call me directly by name.”
“Hit me.”
“What did you say?”
“Please, hit me in the head as hard as you can.”
“Why?”
“I want to wake up from this dream. I'm gonna wake up and go on the computer. Tonight's dinner is hamburger steak[2]. My mom said so this morning.”
“Computer?”
“No, it's nothing. After all, you're just a part of my dream, so you don't need to worry about it. Now just let me escape this dream already.”
“I don't know what you're talking about, but you want me to hit you, right?” Louise clenched her hands into fists.
“Yes, please.”
Her fists began to tremble. Louise's expression became unreadable, but it seemed a lot of thoughts were going through her head. “Aren't you concerned at all about being summoned?”
“How should I know?”
“How could I, the third daughter of the Vallière family… a noble who takes pride in her proper pedigree and ancient lineage, end up having to make someone like you my familiar?”
“How should I know?” Saito repeated.
“…And just who decided that the contract had to be sealed by a kiss?”
“How should I know? Look, will you just get it over and done with? I hate nightmares.”
“Nightmares? That's my line!” Louise clobbered Saito in the head with all her strength. “That was my first kiss!”
Perhaps she was a bit too forceful… “Mine too,” thought Saito, losing consciousness.
2
Hamburger: In Japan, hamburgers can be served in a bun, called hambāgā (ハンバーガー), or just the the patties served without a bun, known as hambāgu (ハンバーグ) or “hamburg,” short for “hamburg steak.” The type mentioned by Saito was the version without the bun. (ハンバーグ)