” I’m going to tell them to bring you some hot milk. It’ll make you sleep.” said Gabriel.
” Gabriel. I can’t stop wondering about Friday.”
” He’ll turn up. You go to your room and I’ll go to the kitchen to tell them to bring that milk.”
I went on up, thinking how gentle he was, how considerate to the servants. They had so many stairs in a house of this nature to contend with.
When I reached our room, the first thing I noticed was Friday’s empty basket and I felt very unhappy.
I went into the corridor and called him once more. I tried to comfort myself that he was hunting rabbits. It was a favourite pastime of his and I had known him forget everything when pursuing it. It might be that in the morning he would come home.
I did realise there was nothing more I could do that night, so I undressed and got into bed.
So exhausted was I that I was almost asleep when Gabriel came in. He sat by the bed and talked about our trip to Greece he seemed really excited about it. But soon one of the servants came in with my milk on a tray.
I did not really want it but I drank it off to please Gabriel, and in a few minutes I fell into a deep sleep.
I was awakened by a banging on my door. Reluctantly I awoke; rarely had I slept so deeply. I sat up in bed to find Ruth standing in the room. Her eyes looked enormous, her face was the colour of white paper.
“Catherine,” she was saying.
“Wake up! Wake up, please And I knew something terrible had happened.
I looked for Gabriel but there was no sign of him.
” It’s Gabriel,” said Ruth. ” You must prepare yourself for a shock.”
” What … has happened to Gabriel?” I asked as though I found the greatest difficulty in getting out the words.
” He is dead,” she said. ” He has killed himself.”
I did not believe her. I felt as though I was struggling out of a fantastic world of dreams.
Gabriel . dead? It wasn’t possible. Why, only a short while ago he had sat by my bed watching me drink my milk, talking of our trip to Greece.
” You’ll have to know,” she said, looking at me steadily; and was it with a hint of accusation in her eyes? ” He threw himself over the parapet of the balcony. One of the grooms has just found him.”
” It can’t be true.”
” You’d better get dressed,” she said.
I stumbled out of bed; my limbs were trembling; one thought kept hammering in my brain. This is not true. Gabriel did not kill himself.
Chapter 3
So within a week of my coming to Kirkland Revels tragedy had struck the house.
I do not clearly remember the sequence of events of that day, but I can recall the numbness which took possession of me, the certainty that something inevitable had taken place, something which had threatened me, warned me from the moment I entered the house.
I remembered lying on my bed during that first morning. Ruth had insisted that I should, and it was at this time that I learned what a forceful character she had. Dr. Smith came and gave me a sedative; he said it was necessary, and I slept until the afternoon.
I joined them in the room which was known as the winter parlour . one of the smaller rooms on the first floor which looked onto the courtyard and which was so-called because during the winter it could be kept warmer and more cosy than those rooms which were less sheltered. The entire family was there: Sir Matthew, Aunt Sarah, Ruth, Luke; and Simon Redvers had joined them. I was conscious of the gaze of everyone as I entered.
” Come here, my dear,” said Sir Matthew. ” This is a terrible shock to us and especially to you, my dear child.”
I Went to him because I trusted him more than any of the others; and when I sat down beside him. Aunt Sarah came over and, taking the chair on the other side of me, placed her hand over mine and kept it there.
Luke had walked to the window. He was saying tactlessly:
” It was exactly like the others. He must have remembered them. All the time we were talking of them, he must have been planning …”
I said sharply: ” If you mean Gabriel committed suicide, I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it for a moment.”
“This is so terrible for you, my dear,” murmured Sir Matthew.
Aunt Sarah came a little closer and leaned against me There was a faint odour of decay about her .
“What do you believe happened?” she asked; and her blue eyes were bright and eager with curiosity.
I turned away from her. ” I don’t know,” I cried, ” I only know he didn’t kill himself.”
“My dear Catherine,” said Ruth sharply, “You’re overwrought. We all have the utmost sympathy for you, but … you knew him such a short time. He is one of us … all his life he has belonged to us….”
Her voice broke, but I did not believe she was sincerely sorry. And I thought: The house will pass to Luke now. Are you pleased about that, Ruth?
” Last flight he talked about the holiday we should have,” I insisted.
” He talked of our going to Greece.”
“Perhaps he didn’t want you to guess what he planned,” suggested Luke.
” He couldn’t deceive me. Why should he talk of going to Greece if he were planning to … do that!”
Simon spoke then. His voice sounded cold and seemed to came from a long distance. ” We do not always say that which is in our minds.”
” But I knew … I tell you, I knew …”
Sir Matthew had put a hand to his eyes and I heard him murmur: ” My son, my only son.”
There was a knock on the door and William entered.
He looked at Ruth and said: ” Dr. Smith is here, madam.”
” Then bring him in,” Ruth answered. And in a few moments Dr. Smith came in. His eyes were sympathetic, and it was to my side that he came.
” I cannot express my grief,” he murmured. ” And I am concerned for you.”
” Please don’t be,” I replied. ” I have suffered a great shock … but I shall be all right.” I heard myself give a slightly hysterical laugh which horrified me.
The doctor laid his hand on my shoulder.
” I’m going to give you a sedative for to-night,” he said. ” You’ll need it. Then when you wake up there’ll be a night between you and all this. You’ll be one step away from it.”
Aunt Sarah spoke suddenly in a high, rather querulous voice: ” She doesn’t believe he killed himself. Doctor.”
” No … no …” soothed the doctor. ” It’s hard to credit it. Poor Gabriel!”
Poor Gabriel! It seemed like an echo in that room, and it came from more than one of those present.
I found myself looking at Simon Redvers. ” Poor Gabriel!” he said, and there was a cold glitter in his eyes as they met mine. I felt I wanted to shout at him: Are you suggesting that I had anything to do with this? Gabriel was happier with me than he had ever been in his life.
He told me so repeatedly.
But I said nothing.
Dr. Smith said to me: ” Have you been out to-day, Mrs. Rockwell?”
I shook my head .
” A little walk in the grounds would do you good. If you would allow me to accompany you, I should be glad.”
It was clear that he had something to say to me alone, and ( rose at once.
” You should wear your cloak,” Ruth put in. ” There’s a chill in the air today.”
A chill in the air, I thought; and a chill in my heart. What would happen next? My life seemed suspended between Glen House and Kirkland Revels and the future was like a thick fog all about me.
Ruth had rung the bell and eventually a servant appeared with my cloak.
Simon took it from the maid and wrapped it about me. I looked over my shoulder and tried to read what I saw in his eyes, but that was impossible.