But I had discovered that there was something unusual about Gabriel, and that should have warned me not to allow myself to become too deeply involved. I had been so lonely;
I found the atmosphere of my home so depressing; I longed for a friend of my own age; and the strangeness of Gabriel enthralled me.
So I refused to see any danger signals and we continued to meet.
We liked to ride on to the moors, tether our horses and stretch ourselves out in the shelter of a boulder, looking up an the sky, our arms behind our heads, talking in a dreamy, desultory way.
Fanny would have considered this the height of impropriety, but I was determined to adhere to no conventions ; I knew this attitude delighted Gabriel and I learned later why it did so.
Each day I would ride out and meet him at some agreed spot because I could not bear the sly glances Fanny gave him when he called at the house. In our small and sheltered community it was not possible to meet a young man daily without causing a certain amount of speculation.
I often wondered, during the early period of our acquaintance, whether Gabriel was aware of this; I also wondered whether he felt as embarrassed about it as I did.
I had not heard from Dilys for some weeks, so I supposed she was too immersed in her own affairs to have time to write. I did feel, however, that now I could write to her because I had something to tell her. I explained about our finding the dog, and how fond I had become of him; but what I really wanted to talk about was Gabriel. My affection for Friday was uncomplicated, but I could not quite understand my feelings for Gabriel.
He interested me, and I looked forward to our meetings with something more than the pleasure of a lonely girl who has at last found a friend;
I realised that this was because I was constantly expecting some revelation which would startle me. There was certainly an air of mystery about Gabriel and I believed that again and again he was on the verge of con ding some secret which he longed to share with me and could not quite bring himself to do so. I had a conviction that he, like my father, was in need of comfort ; and while my father repulsed me, Gabriel, when the time came, would welcome my desire to share whatever it was that was troubling him.
It was impossible, of course, to confide all this to the lighthearted Dilys, particularly when I was not at all sure of it myself. So I wrote a chatty, superficial letter, and felt pleased become something had happened to me which was worthy to be written about.
It was three weeks after we met when Gabriel seemed to come to a decision; and the day he began to talk to me about his home marked a change in our relationship.
We were lying stretched out on the moor and he pulled up handfuls of grass as he talked to me.
” I am sure I should find it attractive. It’s very old, is it not? Old houses have always been absorbingly interesting to me.”
He nodded, and again there was that far-away look in his eyes.
” Revels,” I murmured. ” It’s such a lovely name. It sounds as though the people who named it were determined to have a great deal of fun there.”
He laughed mirthlessly, and there was a brief silence before he began to speak; then it was as though he were reciting a piece he had learned by heart.
” It was built in the middle of the sixteenth century. When Kirkland Abbey was dissolved, it was given to my ancestors. They took stones from the Abbey and with them built a house. Because it was used as a house in which to make merry … I must have had very merry ancestors it was called Kirk- land Revels in contrast to Kirkland Abbey.”
” So the stones which built your house were once those of an ancient abbey?”
” Tons and tons of stone,” he murmured. ” There’s still much of the old Abbey in existence. When I stand on my balcony I can look across to those grey and ancient arches. In certain lights you can imagine that they are not merely ruins … in fact it is difficult to believe they are. Then you can almost see the monks in their habits moving silently among the stones.”
” How attractive it must be. You love it, do you not?”
” It has a fascination for all who see it. Don’t all things as old as that? Imagine, although the house is a mere three hundred years old, the stones of which it is built date back to the twelfth century.
Naturally everyone’s impressed. You will be when . “
He stopped and I saw the slow smile curve his delicate lips.
I am forthright and had never been able to hedge, so I said: ” Are you suggesting that I shall see it?”
The smile about his lips expanded. ” I have been a guest in your home.
I should like you to be one in mine. “
Then it came bursting out: ” Miss Corder, I shall nave to go home soon.”
” You don’t want to, do you, Mr. Rockwell?”
“We are great friends, I believe.” he said.
“At least I feel we are.”
” We have known each other but three weeks,” I reminded him.
” But the circumstances were exceptional. Please call me Gabriel.”
I hesitated, then I laughed.
“What’s in a name?” I asked. ” Our friendship cannot be greater or less, whether I call you by your Christian or surname. What were you going to say to me, Gabriel?”
” Catherine!” he almost whispered my name as he turned on his side and leaned on his elbow to look at me. ” You are right, I don’t want to go back.”
I did not look at him because I feared my next question was impertinent, but I could not prevent myself from asking it. ” Why are you afraid to go back?”
He had turned away. ” Afraid?” His voice sounded high pitched. ” Who said I was afraid?”
” Then I imagined it.”
Silence fell between us for a few seconds, then he said:
“I wish I could make you see the Revels … the Abbey. I wish …”
” Tell me about it,” I said and added: ” If you want to … but only if you want to.”
” It’s about myself I want to tell you, Catherine.”
” Then please do.”
” These have been the most interesting and happiest weeks of my life, and it is because of you. The reason I do not want to go back to the Revels is because it would mean saying good-bye to you.”
” Perhaps we should meet again.”
He turned to me. ” When?” he asked almost angrily.
” Some time perhaps.”
“Some time! How do we know what time is left to us?”
” How strangely you talk … as though you thought that one … or both of us … might die tomorrow.”
There was a faint flush in his cheeks which seemed to make his eyes burn brightly.
“Who can say when death shall come?”
” How morbid you have grown. I am nineteen. You have told me that you are twenty-three. People of our ages do not talk of dying.”
” One evidently does. Catherine, will you marry me?”
I must have looked shocked by this unexpected outburst because he laughed and said: “You are looking at me as though I am crazy. Is it so strange that someone should want to marry you.”
” But I cannot take this seriously.”
” You must, Catherine. I ask with the utmost seriousness.”
” But how can you speak of marriage after such a short acquaintance?”
” It does not seem short. We have met every day. I know that you are all I want, and that is enough for me.”
I was silent. In spite of Fanny’s attitude I had not considered marriage with Gabriel. We were the best of friends and I should be desolate if he went away ; but when I thought of marriage he seemed almost like a stranger. He aroused my curiosity and interest; he was unlike anyone I had ever known and, because of that certain mystery which shrouded his personality, he attracted me very much; but until this moment I had thought of him mainly as a person whom good fortune had sent my way at an important moment. There was so little I knew about him; I had never met any of his people. Indeed when they, or his home, briefly intruded into our conversation I was immediately conscious of Gabriel’s withdrawing from me, as though there were secrets in his life which he was not prepared to share with me. In view of all this I thought it very strange that he should suddenly suggest marriage.