The cop held out his hand, and a small bit of soft plastic lay in his palm with a wire protruding from it.
“People will be able to see that,” Stone said. “Bad people.”
“Nah,” the cop said. “It fits too far down in your ear canal. The wire has a hook on the end; that’s how you get it out: You hook the end of the wire in right here and just pull it out. My advice is, don’t lose the wire.” He turned Stone’s head to one side, stuck the device into his right ear, removed the hook, and handed it to Stone.
“How do you turn it on?”
“It’s on all the time. The battery is good for ten days.”
“What do you do after ten days?”
“If you’re still alive, I’ll bring you a new one.”
“Joan!” Stone shouted. “Bring me your makeup mirror!”
Joan came into the room with the mirror and handed it to him. “Cute underwear,” she said.
“Oh, shut up.” Stone held the mirror in position to look at his ear. “Can you see anything in my ear?”
She took back the mirror. “Yeah, daylight from the other side.” She went back to her office.
“Nice lady,” the cop said.
“Not always,” Stone replied. “Take my advice and stay away from her.”
“I heard that!” Joan yelled from her office.
“They heard it downtown,” the cop said, tapping his ear. He pulled out a vibrating cell phone. “Yeah? Good deal.” He closed the phone. “Like I said, they heard that downtown.”
“How do I get the fucking thing out?” Stone asked.
“Use the little wire with the little hook on the end.”
Stone began rooting around in his ear with the wire. “What am I supposed to hook it onto?”
“There’s a little plastic loop. I showed you, remember?”
Stone made contact and extracted the earpiece.
“It’s a good idea to wear it awhile, get used to it,” the cop said. He took the thing from Stone and reinserted it. “By the way, if you put a phone to that ear, downtown can hear both ends of the conversation, and they can speak to you.”
“That’s just great,” Stone said without enthusiasm. “It’s time for you to go away now.”
“Enjoy your badge, vest, and bug,” the man said, and with a little wave, he left.
Joan came back into the office. “What’s in your ear?” she asked.
“A bug.”
“Put your head on your desk; I’ll pour some water into your ear, and it’ll float out.”
“Not that kind of bug,” Stone said.
“Oh, you’re wired?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
“What’s the badge?” She picked up the commissioner’s letter and read it, then giggled. “You’re a cop again? How can you afford to pay me?”
“It isn’t funny,” Stone said. “Brian Doyle is trying to get me killed.”
“What did you do to Brian Doyle?”
“Nothing much. I just handed him a very nice bust on a platter, and now he’s pissed off because I made more work for him, so he did this to me.”
“This is so much more fun than working in an actual law firm,” Joan said.
“This is an actual law firm,” Stone replied.
“If you say so,” Joan said, flouncing back to her office.
“Don’t flounce,” Stone called down the hall after her.
“I’ll flounce if I want to,” she called back. “It’s not like this is an actual law firm.”
Stone tidied his desk, took off the vest, and put his shirt on. The phone rang. He didn’t wait for Joan to answer it; he just picked the phone up. “Hello?”
“It’s Dino. Dinner?”
“Sure. See you there.”
Another voice spoke on the line. “You boys have a nice evening, now.”
“What was that?” Dino asked.
“I’ll explain later. Good-bye-and go fuck yourself.”
“What?” Dino said.
“That last part was for the other guy on the line.”
“Oh.”
Stone hung up and started looking for the little wire with the hook.
33
STONE ARRIVED AT ELAINE’S shortly after Dino, and they both ordered drinks.
“What was all that about on the phone earlier today?” Dino asked.
“It’s too embarrassing to tell you about.”
“Oh, good. Tell me about it.”
“Well, first of all, I’m back on the force.”
“What?”
“No kidding. The commissioner has reactivated me and assigned me to Brian Doyle. I’ve been drafted.”
Dino began to laugh.
“You think this is funny?”
Dino tried to answer but couldn’t. He was laughing too hard.
Elaine came over and sat down. “So, what’s funny?”
Dino couldn’t stop laughing but pointed at Stone.
“Yeah?” Elaine asked. “What about him?”
Stone produced his new badge and ID and showed them to her.
“You gotta be kidding,” she said.
“It’s only temporary.”
“I’m amazed they’d have you back,” she said.
“They insisted,” Stone replied.
Dino continued to laugh.
“All right,” Stone said, “you can shut up now.”
Dino gradually got control of himself.
Stone stuck a finger in his right ear. “And they bugged me, too.”
“You mean you’re wearing a wire?” Dino asked, wiping tears away with his napkin.
“Right this minute.”
“Where is it, in your crotch? And why do you have your finger in your ear?”
“It’s not in my crotch-it’s deep down in my ear, and I’ve got my finger in it so they can’t hear us downtown.”
“Why don’t you just remove the thing?” Elaine asked.
“Because you need this little wire with a hook on it to get it out, and I lost the wire.”
Dino began to laugh again.
“You look kind of silly with your finger in your ear,” Elaine said.
“Do you want to be recorded downtown?” Stone asked.
“Not particularly.”
“Well, if I take out my finger, they can hear everything you say.”
“Okay,” she said, “keep your finger in your ear. It’s starting to look attractive that way.”
Stone took a big slug of his drink. “God, I needed that.”
“You know,” Dino said, “this is the funniest evening I’ve ever spent in this joint. I’ve never laughed so much.”
“It’s good for you,” Elaine said.
Stone looked up to see Mitzi Reynolds walk into the restaurant, and she headed for his table.
She gave him a kiss. “Don’t tell me, you’ve lost the little wire, and you’ve got your finger in your ear so they can’t hear you downtown.”
“Drop it,” Stone said.
She leaned over and whispered in his left ear. “Rita Gammage is outside in a limo; why don’t you and I join her, and we’ll go down to your house and have some fun.”
“What, with this thing in my ear?”
“I’ll show you how to get it out without the wire,” she said.
“You’re on,” Stone replied. “Will you excuse us?” he said to Elaine and Dino before tossing back his drink.
“What, you’re not eating?” Elaine said, looking shocked. “You took up a whole table, and you’re not eating?”
“Dino’s the one taking up the table,” Stone said, “and he’s eating. Maybe I’ll eat later.”
“What’s going on?” Dino asked.
“Something’s come up,” Stone replied.
Mitzi leaned over and whispered, “Something’s going to come up.”
They left the restaurant and got into the rear seat of the limo. Rita was there, and she kissed Stone and continued to kiss him as they rode downtown, while Mitzi unzipped his fly and got a hand inside.
“This is working,” she said.
Stone still had a finger in his ear. They got to his house and upstairs. “How do I get this thing out?” he asked. Rita was working on his buttons.
“Stand over the bedside table,” she said, “with the right side of your head down. Stick your finger in your left ear, hold your nose with your right hand, take a deep breath and blow, but hold your breath in.”