"Why? What's wrong with a little bit of fooling around?"
"Because it may start off as a little fooling around, but it probably won't end there. And what happens later? What about kids? You want them, and while you may or may not be able to physically carry them, there are other options you can explore. The one clear certainty is that he can never impregnate you. Never. What lies between you may be strong, but in the end, is it right?"
"What do you mean by 'right'?"
Yet even as I asked the question, I knew. Wolves were born with the need to reproduce, and only the desire to find the right mate stopped the world from being overrun. Something governments obviously didn't understand, because they forced the fertility controls on us all.
I wanted children. I'd dreamed of having a family of my own most of my life. Whatever else there might be between Quinn and I, there could never be life.
"Getting into any sort of relationship with Quinn is dangerous because we both know it won't stop at just a bit of fun, and that might just destroy the two of you."
He was right. I might want to explore what was going on with Quinn, but perhaps it was better for everyone if I just let sleeping vampires lie.
I squinted up at my brother. "Two months ago you were advising me not to give up on him. Now you're telling me to be careful, that I haven't the right of anything long-term. Why?"
"When I gave you that advice, neither of us was aware that our vampire genes were finally asserting themselves. It's too late for me to have children, but it may not be for you." He reached out, carefully brushing the hair from my cheek. "You always were slower to develop than me."
I smiled, as he'd intended, but it didn't ease the chill running rampant across my skin, or the churning in my stomach. And the cause wasn't only the fact that I may be becoming irreparably infertile. It was wondering what other changes my vampire genes might be making.
"Talon was trying to get me pregnant for a year. That suggests it might already be too late."
Rhoan snorted. "Talon is sterile."
"What?" I spun around to face him.
He nodded. "Came out during the tests." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Think of Quinn as a piece of chocolate. Rich and fulfilling, and in your case, totally addictive. And like chocolate, you're better off resisting it completely, because it's just not good for you."
I gave him a weak smile. "Quinn won't give me spots like chocolate does."
"Maybe not all over your face." He smiled and slid his fingers down to mine, then tugged me toward the door. "But remember, he does tend to leave nasty little spots all over your neck."
I snorted softly. I guess that was true. Only trouble was, a lot of fun was had getting those particular neck spots.
Jack didn't bother looking up as we entered the other cabin through the interconnecting door. "I ran a check on that arm you severed. There's no match in the database for a creature of that type."
"Not surprising."
"No." He slammed the lid of the com-unit closed. "Especially given we're dealing with genetic engineering. Did you see any of this place at all? Are you able to back up the map Kade gave us?"
"Having a casual stroll around the place wasn't exactly a priority when I woke naked in the alley." I paused. "I really only saw a couple of streets and the stable. Kade was in there longer."
He'd also said that he'd never left the stable. It'd be hard to give Jack a map if that were actually true, so it was a safe bet that it wasn't. But why lie to me about it?
Or was it simply a matter of not knowing at the time whether he could actually trust me or not?
"I want a report of everything you remember once this raid is over," Jack said, and picked up the com-unit. "Let's go."
We headed out the door. Quinn and Kade were already in the van, Quinn in the driver's seat and Kade checking weapons as he sat on the floor at the rear of the van.
He looked damn proficient in handling and checking guns. More so than any "ordinary" builder should be, anyway. Though maybe he was a builder who went game hunting on the weekends.
And maybe I'd grow wings and fly.
Which meant his "profession" was probably another lie. Still, I couldn't exactly get worked up over it—not when I could understand why he might have lied. It was just irritating that I'd trusted him more than I probably should have. Given all that had happened to me over the last few months, you'd think I'd have known better.
I climbed into the van and sat on the floor beside him. Between the weapons, the equipment, and the five of us, it was rather cramped.
Rhoan sat up front with Quinn. Jack slammed the side door shut, then perched in front of the com-screens, undoubtedly making last minute orders and marshalling the Directorate's forces. And though they wouldn't get there until after we'd gone in, it was comforting to know backup wasn't far away.
As the van moved off, Kade threw an arm around my shoulders and gave me a hug. It wasn't sexual in any way, just a comforting touch from someone who knew I needed it. I smiled and leaned into him.
The click of the keyboard and the hum of road noise were the only sounds to be heard. With every mile we drew closer to that place, and my stomach began to churn with renewed vigor. Obviously, whatever had gone on in there was pretty damn bad.
I reached for a nearby water bottle, but the drink did little to ease the dryness in my throat.
Energy caressed my mind, a tingling caress of warmth that stirred the fibers of my soul, intimate in a way that went beyond touch, beyond sex. Quinn, pushing lightly at my shields, wanting to talk to me, wanting me to open the psi-door we'd developed as a means of communication. The link between us went deeper than normal telepathic contact, and was not affected by the presence of psi-deadeners. It was a link that had saved our lives the day we'd walked into Talon's lair to take him out.
I stared toward the front of the van, but there was little more than shadows to be seen. Had he felt my growing fear? Or was this merely an attempt to finish the conversation we'd started back in the motel room?
Whatever the reason, I refused to open that door. Rhoan was right. In this one case, I couldn't have my cake and eat it too. Until I knew for sure whether or not I was fertile, I dare not get involved in any way with Quinn. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.
So I ignored his mental knocking. He eventually gave up and concentrated on driving again. The van rolled on through the darkness, the silence stretching my nerves to breaking point.
When we finally stopped, Kade moved his arm from my shoulder and gave me a cheerful sort of smile. "It's almost over."
I didn't answer. Couldn't answer.
Because it wasn't over. Not by a long shot.
Jack rose, the bright light of the com-screen making his pale skin gleam in the darkness. "Kade, Rhoan, and I will be going in via the front entrance. Riley, you and Quinn are heading around to secure the back. Be careful in there, and stay close to Quinn."
Thanks, but that wasn't exactly safe right now, I wanted to say, but my tongue seemed glued to the roof of my mouth.
Jack and Kade got out and slammed the door shut. Rhoan gave me a brief thumbs-up, then disappeared into the night.
Quinn's gaze touched mine through the rearview mirror. "The seat up here is free is you want to be more comfortable."
"Thanks, but no. I'd rather not see where we are going right now."
He shrugged and drove on. Ten minutes later, we stopped again, this time deep in the trees off the side of the road. I opened the side door and climbed out.
The night was still and cold, the sky cloudy through the canopy of trees. Cicadas sung in the distance, and somewhere close to my right, a stream bubbled. It would almost have been tranquil if not for the harsh sound of my breathing. I needed to get control of my nerves. If there was something out there, keeping an eye on approaching trails, I'd give the game up a mile out.