The program relied heavily on clichés, but those tidbits of wisdom were helping Claudia nonetheless. She felt like she was hearing some of them for the first time. Live and Let Live. Easy Does It. One Day at a Time. And, oh, yeah…Keep it Simple, Stupid was a kick in the pants, but one she needed when she was tempted to overdo it. Life was complicated enough, yet apparently alcoholics were adept at mucking it up even more.
Soon she’d be moving and her schedule would change. Her job at the tea shop would keep her busy during the day, and meetings would occupy her evenings. That seemed simple enough.
Gaye reached into her purse and extracted a pen and paper. “Here. I want you to write a gratitude list. Right here. Right now.”
“A what?”
“A list of all the things in your life that you’re grateful for. Nothing is too small or silly to write down. It’s not for anyone’s eyes but yours. Write down at least fifteen things.”
“Fifteen? But what if I can’t—”
“You can. Think about it. I’ll give you as long as it takes for me to finish my ice cream. Now, start writing.”
“Sheesh.” Claudia thought a moment and began.
I’m grateful for…
Steady job.
Cute apartment.
I’m reasonably healthy.
I have an MBA.
Mostly natural blond hair.
Stylish clothes.
A few true friends.
I’m compassionate—especially to underdogs.
I’m making new friends.
Parents who love me in their own annoying way.
Then she scratched out the word “annoying.”
Growing and learning in AA.
Sobriety is making me feel healthy again.
A good sponsor.
Caring boss/boyfriend.
Can actually write a gratitude list and mean it.
I can see I didn’t cause my sister’s death.
I look forward to learning to forgive myself.
Hope.
She stopped writing when she felt tears burning behind her eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do without you and Anthony, Gaye.”
“Well, I know why you need me,” Gaye joked. “But what is Anthony good for?”
Claudia bit her lower lip. “Call it unconditional love. We all need someone to accept us for who we are. Good and bad. Warts and all. Anthony is that man.”
Gaye smiled. “It sounds like you have some stuff to be grateful for.”
“A lot, actually. I was feeling so alone, even before the fire. Then afterward my best friend got married, and I didn’t want to take her away from her first few months of wedded bliss.” Claudia chuckled. “Her name is even Bliss.”
“Like my name is Gaye. Is hers any less ironic than mine?”
Claudia smirked. “She was never this blissful before hooking up with her hottie fireman. Maybe you need a handsome firefighter too.”
Gaye lifted one eyebrow. “I don’t think so. I’m not ready for that kind of emotional turmoil, and I might never be. Speaking of which, how are things with your boyfriend?”
“Anthony is wonderful. His ex is giving him a hard time, though. I don’t know why she won’t leave him alone.” Claudia studied her bowl of melting rocky road.
Gaye sighed. “Are you sure you’re ready to handle a relationship? There’s a saying, you know. KISS. ‘Keep it simple, sweetheart.’”
“Yeah, yeah. I know that one. Only they usually say ‘stupid’ instead of ‘sweetheart.’”
“In my opinion, we need to be a little gentler with ourselves. We called ourselves stupid hundreds of times when we were drinking. Staying in recovery is one of the smartest things you’ll ever do. So, sweetheart…the boyfriend?”
“Why should I give up one of the best things that ever happened to me just because some bimbo he doesn’t care about anymore doesn’t like it? I think she needs a program of recovery too, but I don’t know what it would be. Is there a Pains-in-the-Ass Anonymous?”
Gaye laughed. “I wish. I can think of a few people I’d like to send there—but remember the Serenity Prayer. The only ones we can change are ourselves. That’s what they mean by live and let live.”
Claudia sighed. “I’m used to being in charge as a manager and working with people who do what I ask them to.”
“Welcome to the real world, kiddo.”
Chapter 4
Ruxandra had to keep her distance while following Anthony. She had always wished they could communicate telepathically, but now she was glad they could not. One stray thought could tip him off. As her maker, he could easily recognize her scent, so tracking his haunts and habits had proved tricky.
She knew he spent a lot of evenings in Chinatown and suspected his lair was someplace in that area. Maybe he was getting animal blood from the local restaurants, but he was almost always there before dawn when she had to run back to her own dark hiding place for her death sleep.
Luckily she had found an unoccupied building in the Beacon Flats area with a basement entrance. Prying open the door was easy. Sealing it against light and curious passersby had proven a bit more challenging, but she was a clever girl and had remembered a great new invention called duct tape. It worked like a charm.
She worried about Anthony protecting himself without her help. He had taught her to take no chances, but lately he seemed to be taking more and more risks with his own safety. Like now. Why was he in Cambridge?
She’d had to occupy the subway a few cars behind his and was surprised when he got off in Central Square. Why here? Everyone knew there was nothing worth seeing between MIT and Harvard Square.
She quickly checked the wind direction and was glad to find it blowing his scent toward her and not the other way around. She hung back and wrapped her scarf around her hair, which was so blond it shown like a beacon under the streetlights.
Suddenly he was crossing the street and rounding the nearest corner. She had to jog between cars after the lights changed, but she caught sight of him again as soon as she rounded the same corner. Whew. Tracking him all this way just to lose him in—Ruxandra halted when he stopped a few feet from a moving van.
What the… Another blond was facing away from him, but he came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. He must have whispered something funny in her ear, because she giggled. Then the slut turned around.
Claudia!
Ruxandra began to seethe. All those years ago, she’d accused the klutzy waitress of being his whore and they’d both had the nerve to deny it—but it was true! They’d probably been making a fool of her all this time.
Anthony had claimed he needed to spend a few minutes each evening in his office with Claudia so she could fill him in on the business of the day.
Ruxandra needed all of her self-control to keep from rushing at the bitch and tearing her head off. Anthony had frequently accused her of jumping to conclusions and so, as painful as it was to watch, she had to wait until there was absolutely no doubt about his betrayal.
He’s kissing her. And she’s kissing him back!
Ruxandra couldn’t take any more. She flew at the unsuspecting couple. Anthony must have sensed her a millisecond before she reached them, because she fell on her ass as he blocked her with his arm and pushed Claudia toward the nearby stairs.