I shouldn’t have said that. Bo’s my friend, and it’s not like he has to be. I wouldn’t hang out with a ten-year-old, so there’s no reason, at sixteen, he should be friends with thirteen-year-old me. But he is. And anyway, what really matters is that this means my dad wants to spend time with me. That’s more than I could’ve hoped for.
I definitely can’t sleep now. I guess I’ll read Moby Dick for a while. It’ll give us something to talk about on the ship tomorrow.
//////// ENTRY 4
I couldn’t believe the spaceships when I saw them up close for the first time. They were enormous, gleaming in sleek, contoured silver like some kind of sea creature. The hangar they’re in is the biggest structure I’d ever been in.
A Ranger who introduced herself as Lieutenant Alvarez told my dad his ship was being repaired, but we could take a Hesper Class-B Ranger and cargo transport right away. The Commander General said we’d go now.
The lieutenant looked starstruck talking to my dad. I know the feeling. She told us, “The boys on board are pretty excited to rub elbows with the OG.”
My mom didn’t know what that meant, but the lieutenant was happy to explain—“the Original Ghost.” That’s what the Rangers call my dad.
Of course, my dad wasn’t fazed by the lieutenant’s obvious admiration. You must get used to it, being the Commander General, and the Original Ghost. Turning back to my mom, he explained that he would be supervising some training at the Ranger base on Iphitos. A quick mission, but important for the troops stationed there.
Suddenly, a loud bang rang out, and Dad pushed Mom behind him, shielding her. Turned out, someone had just dropped a tool, but it was nice to see him protecting her. When they hugged, I knew she liked that feeling too.
Seeing them hug for the first time in years reminded me of when I was little and the two of them were so in love, always holding hands and kissing, not caring who saw. I knew it was just a little thing, but it kind of made me feel like we might have a chance at being a real family again. I smiled so big at the sight of them together that my cheeks hurt.
I was watching a giant pod being loaded onto a ship when my friend Rayna strolled over. She’s the prettiest Cadet in our class, no question. I can’t lie, I maybe have a little crush on her. Even though she’s older than me, I think she might like me too. She said she was jealous—not because I got to do Lightstream travel, but because I got to go with my dad. Well, she’s right—that is the coolest part, any way you look at it.
My mom headed over to say good-bye, and Rayna said she’d watch our takeoff from the tower. Nice of her to give us some alone time, though I wouldn’t have minded talking to her a little longer first.
Mom gave me a long, tight hug. She whispered, “Take it easy on your father. He’s a little rusty.” I grinned.
That was when a Ranger veteran, being moved to a medical transport in his wheelchair, shouted, “Stand me up!” He gestured to the two attendants at his side, his magnetic chair hovering just off the ground as he addressed my dad. I’ll never forget what he said. “General Raige, I was on the Plateau. You saved me and four others. And I just came from seeing my baby girl’s face for the first time.” Then he repeated, “Stand me up.”
“That’s not necessary, Ranger,” my dad told him, but the veteran insisted.
The two attendants helped him up, supporting him since he had lost a leg in an Ursa attack. He shook with the strain of staying upright, but still managed a smart salute.
Snapping to attention, my dad saluted back. The respect in his eyes shone so bright—I longed to have him see me that same way. I watched the Ranger’s eyes fill with tears. My dad is a hero. Everyone wants his respect. I don’t know why these soldiers get it and I don’t. I’m his only son, after all. Maybe that’s the problem? Luckily, my dad was too busy helping the veteran back into his chair to notice me. I saw him whisper something in the Ranger’s ear. I couldn’t hear what he said, but I could see that it comforted the man.
This is what the Commander General means to the Rangers. He’s a true leader, brave and compassionate, gentle and strong. And this is what he did while he was away from us—saved the lives of his men so that they could return to their families, see their own children’s faces. Maybe sometimes he stayed away from us longer than he had to, but then again, maybe he had no choice. He’s the best protection our planet has.
He’s also the only father I have. Don’t I deserve at least as much of his attention as these random soldiers get? But then, I guess that’s the problem. All of these men are heroes, and I’m—well, I’m just the kid who let my sister die. So maybe I don’t deserve any better than this.
My dad and I followed Alvarez to our ship. The same ship that the giant pod had been loaded into. That was interesting. I wondered what was in there, but there wasn’t anyone to ask.
Soon we were flying over the wind turbines and flowing structures of our city, the honeycombed rock faces spotted with smart fabric coverings where our first homes on this planet were built. Before I knew it, we were hurtling through the stars.
I could see my father was scanning a mission dossier, but I couldn’t help interrupting him to announce that I was reading Moby Dick. I’d been so eager to tell him, but he said Mom had already mentioned it. Then he added, “That’s great,” like he was trying to care, but didn’t really mean it. I guess that’s better than not trying at all. I wanted to talk about it with him, like Senshi used to, but I guess this wasn’t the time.
I’ve had so little time with him, I feel like I need to cram everything in at once. I tried to remind myself that we have the whole trip to talk.
The cabin lights dimmed and Dad told me to get some rest. I agreed, but now I can’t sleep. This is my first trip into space, and I want to remember every minute. So I’m recording this log instead of sleeping. Disobeying orders again, I guess.
Sometime after everyone else fell asleep, I unbuckled myself and crept past row after row of sleeping soldiers. I only meant to go to the bathroom, but when I realized how close I was to the cargo hold, I had to try to get a look at that pod. I ignored a sign that read Restricted Area. Do Not Enter. Hazardous Cargo. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself—that sign made me want to keep going even more. I headed down a narrow ramp into the belly of the ship. It was creepy down there, dark and strangely quiet. I slipped past a heavy mesh curtain and into the cavernous cargo hold. I immediately spotted the pod, half-hidden in the shadows. I started toward it, but suddenly a hand clamped around my arm.
“Can you read?” a gruff voice demanded. When I didn’t answer, he repeated his question.
Turning, I saw I’d been caught by the ship’s Security Chief. Not good. “Yes, sir,” I told him.
While he quizzed me about the sign I’d ignored, I peered past him at the giant pod. “What’s in there?”
That was when another member of the security detail looked up from a game he was playing with a few of the others. “Might wanna go easy on him, Sarge,” he told the chief. “That’s the Prime Commander’s son right there.”
Prime Commander. My dad has so many titles, but that’s the most important one. The one over thirty Raiges have held in our history. Prime Commander. The leader of the Rangers. Of this entire planet. I know it’s a big deal, but it drives me crazy to have people always acting different around me because of who my father is. But this time, it definitely had its perks. “You’re Raige’s kid?” the Security Chief asked.