“No, they all go fucking apeshit – sticking up drugstores to find something that’s similar to Slide, and tearing into bloody pieces anybody who so much as looks at them sideways. It would be like every dog in town suddenly went rabid.”
“Say you’re right,” I told him. “What’re we supposed to do, then? Let the Delatassos sell their shit wherever they want? I know some people who wouldn’t care for that much – one of ’em’s named Tapley, and another one’s named Donna, not to mention everybody else who was in Johnny’s Diner the other night.”
“I’m just raising the question.” Karl said. “I never claimed I had the answer.”
“Yeah, well, there’s only one answer to your question that I can think of,” I said.
“I am all attention.”
“Shut the fucking Delatassos down as soon as we possibly can – that won’t eliminate your ‘mad dog’ problem, but it’ll keep the impact to a minimum.”
“As soon as possible,” Karl said, with a slow nod. “That means we’re gonna have to cut some corners.”
“Shit,” I said, remembering all the lies I’d told the brass yesterday, “we’ve already started.”
But before you can cut corners, you have to know just where the corners are. So back at the squad room, Karl and I sat down with McGuire to talk about the legal status of Slide.
“Somebody’s selling that shit, but we can’t even bust them for it, can we?” I said.
“Not right now, you can’t, no,” McGuire said.
I gave a sigh. “I was kinda afraid of that.”
“Why the fuck not?” Karl said. “Selling addictive drugs is illegal, right? Everybody knows that.”
“I wish it was that simple,” McGuire told him. “‘Addictive’ is a medical term, not a legal one.”
Karl frowned at that. “Say what?”
“Lots of stuff’s addictive,” McGuire said. “Tobacco, alcohol, and caffeine, for instance. But none of them is illegal, you might have noticed.”
“Because they’re not ‘controlled substances’,” I added.
“Exactly right,” McGuire said. “Something’s a controlled substance because there a law that says it has to be controlled. Shit, a hundred years ago cocaine was legal, before they knew how bad it could fuck people up. Heroin, too – all that shit. It just took time for the law to catch up with the menace.”
“And cause Slide’s so new, there’s no laws on the books banning it.” Karl shook his head. “Fuck.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Fuck.”
“Wait a minute,” Karl said. “We’ve busted goblins for meth before.”
“Yeah, that’s because meth was already illegal before the goblins ever got hold of it. It was the only drug that addicted supes – well, one species of supe – as well as humans.”
“Or so we thought,” McGuire said.
Karl looked at McGuire, then at me. “And we don’t even know if Slide has any effect on humans, do we?”
“Nope,” I said. “And if it turns out that there’s no human addiction…”
“It could be years before Congress, or even the state legislatures, get around to banning it,” McGuire said. “You know how it is.”
“Yeah, I know how it fuckin’ is,” Karl said. “Stuff that only involves supes doesn’t exactly get a high priority with the government.”
McGuire had the good grace to look a little embarrassed. Karl was speaking nothing but the truth. Supes were still considered second-class citizens by a lot of people – some of them government officials.
“Course, since this stuff seems to be causing supes to rob humans,” Karl said, “maybe it’ll get some politicos’ attention a little quicker.”
“Could be,” McGuire said. “But for now, Slide’s as legal as soda pop.”
“Well, fuck me,” Karl said.
I shook my head slowly. “Sorry,” I said. “I kinda like you, but not that way.”
“What we need to do,” I said, “is get our hands on some Slide.”
Karl and I were sitting behind our desks in the squad room, facing each other. He understood what I meant, but he pretended not to. “What’s up with that, Stan – you lookin’ for a new kind of high?”
“Not exactly,” I said, “but you’re pretty close.”
He gave me raised eyebrows.
“For one thing,” I said, “I want to have the shit tested, to see if it does have any effect on humans. If it’s as addictive for them as it is supes, we might see some quicker action on making it illegal.”
Karl made a disgusted sound. I don’t think he disagreed with me – he just hated the fact that I was right.
“I’d like to get some Slide for Rachel. She wants to see if magic might work in curing somebody who’s hooked on the shit.”
“Well, good luck to her, then.” Karl glanced at his watch. “Looks like it’s almost quitting–”
That was when McGuire came out of his office and yelled, “OK, listen up!”
The room got quiet fast, and then he said, “We just got a call, and I want everybody on it.”
“What’s up, boss?” Sefchik asked him.
“A report of multiple shots fired in the 400 block of Moosic St. Get in your cars – now!”
“Shit!” I said.
Karl looked at me. “That’s Ricardo’s.”
“Looks like the war’s not over yet.”
The other detectives were already out the door. We stood up, and Karl turned to McGuire, who was still standing outside his office. He pointed his chin toward the window, then pointed to his watch. “Lieutenant…”
It was still dark outside, but the sun would be up in less than an hour. That was what Karl meant, and McGuire knew it. He nodded at Karl and said, “Yeah, I know. OK, head on home.” Then he looked at me. “You’re riding alone on this one, Markowski.”
As we walked toward the stairs that led to the parking lot, Karl said, “Try not to do anything stupid and get yourself killed, OK?”
“Do my best.”
“I mean, you’ve still got my DVD of Thunderblood, and Christine might not be in a hurry to give it back. She might even decide to keep it.”
“Yeah,” I said. “She just might.”
In the parking lot, I caught up with Sefchik and Aquilina and asked if I could ride with them out to the crime scene – if that’s what it was. No sense in taking another car out just for me – especially since the police department had been hit by another budget cut this year by the City Council.
Once I was in the back seat of their car, I called Christine. I knew she was still at work, and so wasn’t surprised to get her voice mail. I waited for the beep, then said, “Hi, honey, it’s your old man. We’ve had some shit hit the fan at work. Nothing to worry about, but it looks like I won’t be getting home until you’re sacked out. So, sleep well, and I’ll see you at breakfast.”
On the way to Moosic Street, I told Sefchik and Aquilina what I’d learned about Slide and the Philly fangsters who were peddling it in town.
“Christ, that’s just what we need,” Aquilina said from behind the wheel. She never took her eyes off the road. “A new drug on the streets, addicted supes going crazy, and a gang war, to boot. God, I love this job!”
We arrived at Moosic Street a couple of minutes later. The end of the block containing Ricardo’s Ristorante had a couple of black-and-white units straddling the street with their lights flashing, to keep out civilian traffic. That was as close to the action as the uniformed officers were likely to get. Department policy said that when vampire perps were suspected, regular patrol units were supposed to secure the area, keep their distance, and wait for the specialists from Occult Crimes to arrive.
Two more cars from the squad, headlights still on, had got there ahead of us. They were parked more or less in front of Ricardo’s Ristorante, diagonally from the sidewalk. Cops at crime scenes don’t have to park at crazy angles that nobody else would imitate – we do it because we can.
I was noticing trivial stuff like that because there was nothing else to look at. No suspects in custody, no bodies, no wounded vamps – nothing. That street was cleaner than a nun’s asshole.