And why kill Froelich? Cop killings brought too much attention. Killing me was the smart move.
Unless Mota couldn’t find me.
Or he was crazy.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Maggie’s hands were on her hips, her jaw jutted. We stood in a private corner of the barge’s deck, behind one of the cranes, isolated from the hommy dicks and the med techs. I leaned on the rail, the deck’s listing slope making it the only comfortable way to stand.
I hid behind my shades. “I don’t know anything about this.”
“Don’t give me that. Talk.”
I didn’t know what to say. That I was back in the protection business? That I broke a good kid’s legs last night? That I already got one of my crew killed?
Wishing it all away, I looked out at the river, at the black water flowing gently in the starlight. I tuned into the way the barge swayed with the silent current, my mind syncing with the lazy rocking. Maggie asked another question, but I wasn’t listening. The river. It was calling me. The mad spark lit inside me. I recognized it this time. I felt reality leaking away, and I let it go. Gladly.
I stared straight down at the water. It stared back. Smiling, inviting. All I had to do was jump this rail. After a quick drop, the river would welcome me with a burst of spray, a celebration of liquid confetti. I’d drop below the surface and let her hold me in her cradling hands. Sinking, I’d let her carry me in her cool flow until she ushered me away from this world.
A finger poked my arm. “Talk, dammit. What do you know about this?”
I was transfixed by the water. Seduced. I didn’t want to break the trance.
“I’m talking to you, Juno.”
The trance crumbled. Dizzy, I gripped the rail and willed my melting knees to lock.
“Juno?”
I ripped my gaze off the water the way you rip off a bandage. Reality was back, the spark extinguished.
“What’s wrong with you?”
I glared at her, my eyes burning straight through my shades.
“Seriously. What’s wrong?” She reached for my hand, warm fingers making contact. “You’re scaring me.”
Hearing the fear in her voice, I felt a shift inside, chafing annoyance once again getting overwhelmed by the guilt and gloom. I couldn’t handle this shit, emotions cycling like mad, moods swinging like hyper monkeys. What the fuck was wrong with me? “I’m okay.” I tried to sound believable. “Really, I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. Jesus, look at you. You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“I’m fine. I don’t see a severed head every day, okay? It’s got me a little screwed up.”
“Oh, no, you don’t.” She smacked my hand. “Don’t pull that shit with me. You and I both know you’ve seen worse.”
I didn’t want to bullshit her. I really didn’t. But coming clean was out of the question. This whole fucking thing could be blowing up in my face, but I had to keep it contained as best I could. And to achieve containment I had to keep her out.
She waited for an answer. I had to say something. Something that would explain why my fingers were gripping the rail like a lifeline. Something believable.
I started into another line of bullshit, but it caught in my throat, nothing more than a mangled syllable coming out my mouth. I tried again, but couldn’t spit it out, another false start dying before I could utter it.
Maggie’s sharp eyes shone in the lamplight, her bullshit meter on full alert. I sighed, my posture deflating, my ego wilting.
“I miss Niki.” I adjusted my shades, the shades Niki had given me. Underneath, my eyes misted as painful seconds drifted by.
“I know you do. She was carrying too much weight to keep living.”
Yes, she was. For the twenty-five years we’d been together, she tried to stay afloat. She really did. But the weight dragged on her ankles like an anchor until she couldn’t swim any longer. There were things in life you just couldn’t shake, and being raped by your father was one of them.
Footsteps approached from behind. “There you are. I’ve been lookin’ all over for you two.”
Just what I need. Josephs. Mark Josephs. Maggie’s newest partner and a grade-A asshole. I rubbed my chin to cover my quivering lower lip.
“Juno, you old dog, what the fuck have you done this time?”
“He and Paolo Wu found Froelich,” answered Maggie.
I cleared my throat and tried but failed to sniffle my nose clear. Using my index finger, I stabbed away a tear that leaked out from under my shades.
He leaned in to get a closer look at me. “What the fuck? You cryin’?”
“No.”
“Cryin’ over Froelich?” He threw up his hands. “You gotta be fuckin’ shittin’ me. Why you gettin’ all weepy over that dickhead?”
“Fuck off.”
“I’m just askin’.”
“Leave him alone, Mark,” said Maggie.
“What’s today’s date? I’m gonna mark my calendar. The day Juno Mozambe cried. This shit’s historic.”
A different type of spark ignited: anger. I was well acquainted with this kind. “Fuck off,” I said, my shaky right strangling the rail.
Josephs held up his hands in mock surrender. “Whoa, don’t get your titties twisted now. I’m just lightenin’ the mood. Bringin’ a little cheer like I always do. Why are you always so serious?”
I told myself to relax. Let it go. Just let it go. I peeled my fingers off the rail and shoved them in a pocket. I shifted my feet, muscles uncoiling, and even tried a smile.
“That’s better,” he said. “You gotta quit bein’ so touchy. Don’t be a bitch now.”
My nerves jingled and my eye twitched. I was ready to pummel this stiff. That was what I needed, a good fucking fight.
Maggie put a hand on Josephs’s shoulder. “Listen, Mark, why don’t you let me talk to Juno alone?”
“No.” He pulled his shoulder away. “We’re gonna do it together. We’re supposed to be partners, right?”
“I really think it would be better if you let me handle it.”
“Fuck that. If you didn’t wanna work with me, you shouldn’t have asked me to be your partner.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Her face screwed in disgust. “Nobody else would have you.”
“That ain’t it at all. It’s not that they don’t like me. Those dickheads don’t want to be outshined is all.” He flashed his pearlies. “Nobody likes to be fiddle number two.”
Hang in a little longer, I told myself. All I had to do was answer a few questions. No big deal. Then I could move on. I could find a bar and drink until the emotions stopped swinging. Drink until I couldn’t feel. “Fucking ask your questions already.”
Josephs hit Maggie with a self-satisfied smile, like he’d just won a prize. The bastard was like a jungle tick the way he loved to get under your skin.
“What are you waiting for?” she asked him.
He turned to me. “How did you find Froelich?”
“Wu and Froelich went upriver last night to do some betting on the monitor fights. Wu wasn’t sure if he made it home okay. We tried calling him this morning and he didn’t answer, so we came down here to check on him.”
“That it?”
“That’s it.”
“What’s the deal with that tattoo on his cheek? You ever seen it before?”
“No. The killer must’ve stamped him.”
Maggie asked Josephs, “What’s the status on the search?”
“The unis tell me this boat’s clean. We think whoever did this did it somewhere else, then dunked Froelich’s head in fly gel to preserve it before bringin’ it here.” To me he said, “Now why don’t you tell me where you fit in with Wu and Froelich.”
“We’re buddies.” Poker face.
“Fuckin’ bullshit. You got some shit goin’ with them two, and you’re gonna tell me what it is.”
“We’re just friends. Pals.”
“We got a dead cop. We can’t let that go unanswered. You know that. If you three were into some shit, you gotta let me know. You back to your old tricks?”