She smiled at Chase and touched his cheek. “I’m fine.”
His eyes narrowed, but the next presenters began their speech for Best Picture. Chase and Robert’s faces appeared up on the big screen as Night Blooming was announced.
“And the Oscar goes to Chase Booker and Robert Addler for Night Blooming.” Applause sounded all around them.
Chase’s face cleared of all the concern in a heartbeat as he flashed his winning smile at the camera. He leaned close to her. “We’ll talk when I get back.”
He moved to the aisle and strode toward the stage with Robert. The music had stopped, and Chase and Robert were getting ready to deliver their speech.
“We’d like to thank the Academy.” Chase’s voice filled the auditorium. “There are so many people who were part of this film and helped to make it happen.”
He continued congratulating the whole cast and everyone involved in production, and she’d never felt more proud in her life. Her heart filled with love and warmth for Chase.
At the end of his speech, he turned to face her and gave her that smile that was hers. When he smiled at her like that, she was willing to give up everything, just to be with him. She cheered with the rest of the crowd as he was ushered backstage. Everything would be okay.
Alexis leaned over the empty seat. “They’ll be a few minutes backstage. We can head out if you’d like.” Her smile was predatory, but Natalie assumed it was always that way.
“Sure, but I’d like to find the restrooms first.”
An usher happened to overhear her and escorted her to the bathroom.
The doorman opened the door, and Natalie swept into the relative emptiness of the foyer. Natalie froze at the landscape beyond the doors of the theater. Though it was night, the exterior of the Kodak burned as bright as if it were noon. The rich and famous posed and paraded outside.
Alexis hadn’t waited for her out here either. Breathing deeply, Natalie moved toward the doors. It couldn’t be any worse than before. Except then she’d had Chase with her. Being next to Chase made her feel more beautiful, made her feel like she belonged.
She stepped out onto the red carpet and stopped to scan the crowd for Chase. Her gaze flowed over the other actors and zeroed in on Chase.
Her smile froze as she saw Alexis curving into his side as the camera flashed. Suddenly everything clicked into place.
Alexis wanted fame and attention. She didn’t need coaxing to get into the spotlight. Someone like Alexis would be there for him and look beautiful doing it. She didn’t mind the attention. She didn’t want a quiet life. She didn’t want simplicity. She’d fit in Chase’s life, where Natalie was a square peg trying to shove into a round hole.
Tonight she felt gorgeous with the dress, jewelry, makeup and shoes, but tomorrow she’d go back to being just Natalie. How long would just Natalie be enough?
No, that was stupid. Chase loved her. Natalie trusted him. He’d said he didn’t want anyone but her, and she believed him. For now, she was who he wanted to be with, but what about a month from now? Six months? A year?
Alexis turned and pressed her lips to Chase’s cheek for the next photo.
Natalie spun as her heart plummeted. This wasn’t who she was. She wasn’t strong enough to watch her man pretend to be in love with someone else. She wasn’t strong enough to walk toward him and claim him from Alexis. But somehow she’d find the strength to walk away.
She jerked open the doors and went back into the theater. There had to be a back exit. She picked up her skirt and hurried across the tile floor.
The door slammed open behind her.
“Natalie?”
Oh, hell, all he had to say was her name, and she wanted to stop and let him convince her she was wrong. That she deserved to be with him. That she could take the pressure of being his girlfriend.
His hand closed over her shoulder. She squeezed her eyes shut at the warmth in his touch and the feelings that swirled around inside her.
“Natalie, are you all right?” Chase didn’t spin her around or move in front of her, and for that she was grateful.
She couldn’t say what she needed to say if she lost herself in his green eyes. Opening her eyes, she stared at the red exit sign that would lead her back home.
“Who are we kidding, Chase?” Natalie’s eyes filled with unshed tears. She kept her voice steady. “You don’t need me. You need someone like Alexis. We don’t make sense.”
“I don’t want Alexis. I want you.” He slowly turned her until she faced him.
She kept her eyes on his tie knot. “For how long?” she whispered.
His fingers tensed on her shoulder. The pain was slight compared to the hurt curled up in her chest.
“Natalie…”
What was going on in his head? Was he going to thank her for calling it quits because he hadn’t wanted to hurt her? An unchecked tear slipped down her cheek. She drew in a deep breath and waited for his reply.
“This is who I am. It won’t go away. The Alexises will always be there. The cameras will always be there. The speculation will always be there.” His fingers fell from her shoulder, leaving her cold. “I thought you trusted me.”
Another tear escaped down her cheek. She had moments before the floodgates opened. “I can-” Her eyes connected with the paparazzi outside the window. A small crowd had gathered. Nothing was private, nothing was sacred. Life with Chase was life in a fishbowl. If she walked away now, her life would go back to what it had been before, quiet, unassuming, boring, safe.
He could go back to his fabulous women who wouldn’t feel like hurling on the red carpet. Who wouldn’t need so much reassurance to get through one evening.
His finger caught one of her tears.
She took another deep breath and stepped back. Her heart shuddered. “I wish I could, but I can’t, Chase.” Her voice trembled and the words barely left her lips. “I just can’t.” The tears welled unbearably. Before he could say anything, she spun on her heels and raced toward the beckoning exit sign.
She almost wished she’d fall, but when she reached the door, she turned for one last look. He stood where she’d left him. She couldn’t let him hurt her. She had to be the one to leave. The door slid shut behind her.
Chase let her go. What else could he do? He couldn’t force her to stay. He couldn’t change who he was, who he had become. The box in his pocket weighed heavily on his mind.
He’d wanted to share forever with her, but it looked like their fifteen minutes were up.
A hand clapped over his shoulder. “Tough break.” Robert moved to stand beside him. “We’ve got pictures to take.”
Chase watched the door she’d vanished behind. Every second it stayed closed, the hollowness in his chest grew. He’d known better. He’d known it would end this way.
Knowing didn’t ease the tightness. “I’m going to take that role.”
Robert nodded. “The last-minute replacement.”
It had sat on his desk for the past two days as he debated whether their relationship was strong enough for him to leave for a few months. Apparently, it hadn’t been strong enough.
“Yeah, I’ll fly out Monday morning.” Chase turned back toward the theater doors. He’d do what he did best, lose himself in a part.
“Do what you need to do, my friend.”
“What are you going to do?” Rachel tucked her feet up on the couch.
“I can’t quit my job. I haven’t even been there two months. We can’t afford not to have my paycheck.” Natalie swept through the room with a pile of pillows and sheets. She’d remade the bed, but his scent still stubbornly clung to a few things. A trip through the washer should solve that problem.
It was well past midnight, but she didn’t think she’d ever be able to sleep again. Rachel had waited up for her when she used the phone in the limo to call and blubbered in Rachel’s ear. The tears were gone now. Just an emptiness remained, and no amount of crying or ice cream was going to fill that hole.