"No problem." Kim accepted the loose chart pages Jess offered. She watched with interest as Jess's expression softened when she leaned down to be more on Tara's level.
"Hey, Tara. I'm Dr. Jess. I'm going to take care of you... okay?"
A slight tremor rippled through the little girl's body but no other response.
Jess tried again. "Tara, please look at me." Jess sighed. Tara gave no indication that she had even heard her request.
"Want me to try?" Kim knew Jess needed to do her exam regardless of the little girl's lack of response.
Jess shook her head. "Let me try again." Jess grasped the edge of the coat Tara had wrapped around her. "Tara... I'm just going to take this coat off... okay?" She waited a moment for a response. "Okay, here we go," Jess said while she carefully opened the coat. She removed it from around her shoulders and let it drop to lay on the gurney under Tara. "There we go."
Kim had witnessed how conscientious and compassionate Jess was with patients, but this was the first time she had seen her interact with such a young child. Kim was struck by Jess's gentle, tender manner with the little girl. It showed a whole other side of her.
"That's better." Jess slowly and carefully placed her hand on Tara's T-shirt clad shoulder.
Kim tensed waiting for Tara's reaction. The little girl flinched at the first touch, but offered no other response. Kim met Jess's eyes and they shared a relieved look. "So far, so good," Kim said low-voiced.
Jess began to slowly rub her hand up and down Tara's back. "Come on, little one. Please look at me."
Ah... that got a reaction. "Jess," Kim said softly. When Jess looked up she leaned over a bit and spoke quietly, "Use 'little one' again. She reacted to that."
Jess nodded in understanding. "Hey, little one." Jess glanced up at Kim and smiled. She had seen the reaction this time. The little girl's gaze had flickered toward her for just a second. "Come on, little one, please look at me." Jess's smile widened when Tara met her eyes and held them. "That's a good girl." She continued to gently stroke the girl's back.
Kim's tension eased. This was going better than she had hoped. While she understood the child needed to be examined she did not want to add to her trauma while doing so. She was impressed. Jess was being so calm and patient with Tara. She knew it was especially difficult dealing with injured children in the ER. Then again some people are just lousy with kids — period. Anna immediately came to mind. She never saw children in the ER if she could possibly avoid it. Kim's attention was brought back to business when Jess began to speak to Tara again.
"Now we need to make sure you're okay." Jess placed a hand gently on Tara's bent knees. "Can you sit up straight for me?" When she didn't get a response, Jess lifted the hand she had resting on the little girl's knees and gently brushed her filthy, matted hair away from her face. "Come on, sweet girl —"
With an inarticulate cry, Tara launched herself at Jess.
NO! Kim lunged for Tara but missed her.
Tara slammed against Jess's chest.
Jess staggered back a step. Her arms whipped up and gripped the little girl tightly to her chest.
Kim took a shaky breath. She looked over at Jess. Tara was clinging to her for dear life. Her heart was still pounding from Tara's scream and precipitous leap from the gurney. She moved around the end of the gurney. As she got close to Jess she was assaulted by the pungent smell of urine. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Jess said. "But I'm not so sure about Tara."
Surprise rippled through Kim at the tremor in Jess's voice. She had never seen her anything but calm, cool and collected, even after a major trauma.
"What triggered that I wonder?" Jess shifted Tara slightly in her arms. The little girl had her face buried in Jess's neck and was crying brokenly.
"She seemed to react to you using, 'sweet girl' maybe it's what her mother or someone important to her calls her. It told her you were someone safe." Kim reached out and gently stroked Tara's back. "Letting her emotions out is actually the best thing for her. I was pretty worried about her being so unresponsive."
"It's okay, little one. You're safe here." Jess moved over and leaned against the gurney. She rocked Tara in her arms for several minutes, murmuring softly to her the whole time.
Kim's heart filled with warmth at Jess's caring treatment of the little girl. Tara was filthy and stank of urine, but none of that appeared to matter to Jess as she held her tenderly in her strong, comforting embrace. When Jess looked up, Kim saw for the first time beneath the mask Jess wore at work. The open, emotion-filled look in her eyes was compelling. Oh, Jess. In the blink of an eye it was gone, and Kim was once more faced with the ER chief she was coming to know.
"I still need to examine her," Jess said. She looked down at the little girl. She had fallen asleep in her arms. "Poor little thing. She must have been exhausted." Jess turned to place Tara on the gurney, then appeared to change her mind. "I don't want to take a chance of waking her. How about you sit on the gurney and hold her while I do the exam?"
"Good idea. That'll work." Kim moved over and levered herself up onto the gurney.
Jess started to hand over Tara, then hesitated. "You need to get a gown. She's a mess."
Kim looked down at the pale purple shirt she was wearing, then up at what used to be a stark white lab coat that Jess had on. Tara stirred restlessly in Jess's arms. Kim didn't even think twice. She held out her arms. "It's okay. Give her to me. I'd rather not take the chance of waking her, until it's absolutely necessary."
She would have done it regardless, but the smile Jess gave her made it worth whatever happened to her clothes. Kim cuddled the little girl tenderly in her arms. She smiled back at Jess as they worked together to provide the care Tara needed.
* * *
Jess dropped her paperwork on her desk. Bypassing the desk chair, she crossed the small room and flopped down onto the sofa that took up most of the back wall of her office. Although it had not been physically demanding or even require any great skill, taking care of Tara had been taxing. Jess worked to remain emotionally detached from her patients. It was what made her good at her job. In the case of children, she always had an especially hard time, they were totally defenseless. She scrubbed her hands over her face. You've got work to do if you ever want to get out of here tonight.
Pushing up from the sofa, she headed for her desk only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Now what? Thankfully, the last of the press had left shortly after the social worker picked up Tara. Jess had already turned over the department to the next shift. With a disgruntled grumble, she jerked open the door to her office. "What?" she asked before the door even opened fully.
"Hi," Kim said a bit tentatively.
Jess immediately regretted her sharp tone. She was glad for the chance to make up for her earlier behavior. She was remorseful for her reaction this morning when Kim brought her coffee and a muffin. At the time, her defenses had instantly gone up as her thoughts immediately turned to her ex, Myra. She had wondered what Kim's motive was behind the offering. After she'd had a chance to think about it, Jess realized how unfair she had been. She was just being nice. Not everyone is out to get close to you, then humiliate you. Refusing to give into the bad memories associated with Myra, Jess focused on Kim. "Come on in, Kim." She smiled warmly.
"Thanks, Jess."
Her tension dissipated when Kim smiled in return. Re-entering her office, she resisted the urge to retreat behind her desk. It was an ingrained reaction to help distance herself from people. Let her in. You know you want to.
Jess leaned against the edge of her desk. The silk blouse and tailored slacks Kim had been wearing earlier had been replaced by scrubs. The dark blue scrubs set off her blond hair and made her blue eyes more vivid than usual. God she's beautiful. Jess sighed to herself. And it's a lot more than skin deep. Jess's heart had melted watching Kim's tender treatment of Tara. "I hope your clothes aren't a total loss. I know that case was a bit above and beyond the call for a psych consult."