Sam slumped back against the couch cushions. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just tired."
Jess brought her hands up and rubbed her stinging eyes. "Me too. Your life's your own. I shouldn't try and tell you how to live it. It's not like my personal life is any shining example to follow."
Neither woman spoke for several minutes.
"Hey." Sam sat up suddenly and peered at Jess with a questioning look. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I just realized... What are you doing here? I thought you had that article you had to get ready."
Shit! Jess had hoped Sam had forgotten about that little fact. Struggling to keep her reluctance to discuss the topic off her face, Jess tried for casual nonchalance. "I just decided I wanted to see your game. No big deal. I can work on my article later."
Sam stared at her for a moment and then snorted. "You really don't expect me to buy that line of bull, do you? I got home a little after five this morning and you were already here. That means you had to have left LA at three o'clock in the morning." Sam leaned over and bumped shoulders with Jess. "Come on, sis. What's really going on?"
A mix of emotions buffeted her. Jess raked her hands through her hair. You know you really want to talk. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come down here. "It's some stuff at work. I needed to get away and relax."
The look on Sam's face made it clear she was less than convinced. "So what's happening at work —" A huge yawn caught Sam mid-sentence. She scrubbed her hands over her face. "Sorry."
"I'm pretty beat too." Jess yawned. "Tell you what. I was just getting ready to make some coffee when you can in. Why don't you grab a shower? I'll make coffee and whip us up some breakfast."
Sam looked ready to protest, then seemed to change her mind. Turning her gaze away, she stretched and then stood up. "All right. I'm too tired to argue with you."
Trying not to show how relieved she was at the reprieve, Jess stood up as well. Although she admitted that she did want to talk, she just wasn't ready yet.
Sam headed down the hall and stopped just outside her bedroom door. She turned back toward Jess and called out, "Don't think for a second I'm going to forget about this. We will finish this conversation."
"Yeah, yeah. I know." Jess headed for the kitchen, already wondering just what she was going to tell Sam. She couldn't explain her reaction to Kim to herself, much less to someone else.
* * *
Sam stepped out of the shower. She had been racking her brain trying to figure out what was up with Jess and work that she would feel the need to retreat to San Diego. Jess lived for her job. A niggling suspicion formed as she reached for her towel. I wonder if it's that new doctor. While she might talk about her cases in generic terms, Jess rarely spoke of her co-workers.
That had changed abruptly two weeks ago. After the third time Jess mentioned the new psychiatrist in less than a week, Sam had gotten the clue that something was different about... What was her name? Oh yeah. Kim.
After making her way into the bedroom, she pulled out clean clothes. Sam sighed. Not that Jess would ever let anything happen between them. Not after what that bitch did to her. Anger burned through Sam at just the thought of Myra. She had never actually met her but hated her nonetheless. Jess had not let anyone get close since their breakup. Not that she had ever let any woman really close to start with. Sam knew Jess had real issues with trust. What she had never been able to figure out was why. Jess had a lot of bullshit rationalizations, but never one Sam truly believed.
Finished dressing, Sam headed for the kitchen to find out just what was up with Jess. Maybe she's finally ready to move past Myra. She needs someone in her life. She might act like her job and Thor are enough, but I don't believe that. I may not want a girlfriend, but at least I have friends I go out and socialize with.
Sam stopped in the doorway. What little floor space there was in the small kitchen was currently occupied by Thor, who was enjoying his breakfast.
Jess looked up and smiled. "He got tired of waiting for you."
"Just as long as he's not eating my breakfast." Sam leaned into the room and patted the only part of Thor she could easily reach, his butt.
Thor gave her a brief glance before going back to his food.
Jess picked up a plate and a mug off the counter. Leaning over Thor, she handed them to Sam. "Lucky for you, he doesn't like coffee or bagels."
Sam laughed. "Thanks," she said, lifting up the items in her hands slightly.
Jess waved off the thanks. She picked up her own breakfast and carefully shuffled past Thor.
They both settled down at a small dinette table adjacent to the kitchen.
Sam took a large swig of her coffee. "Ah, just what I needed." Knowing Jess the way she did, she decided to ease her way into the conversation she really wanted to have with her. Sometimes getting Jess to open up about something was like pulling teeth. Not that she was any better. As she set her coffee back down she asked, "So what's up at work? New residents giving you problems?"
Jess took a moment to sip her coffee. "Had some trouble with one of the new ones, but I think she's got things worked out now. It's a lot more responsibility than they've ever had before, and it can be a tough adjustment."
Okay, not the residents. Sam knew the first few months after the new residents started were often a headache for Jess. She ate a few bites of her bagel. When Jess didn't offer any further comments, she tried again.
"Administrative problems, huh?"
Her mouth full of bagel, Jess shook her head no.
Running the ER was a lot more involved than most people realized. Sam had been amazed when Jess had explained all that her job entailed when she had taken over as Chief of the ER, in addition to being Program Director of the ER residency.
Okay that gets some of the usual problems out of the way. She really didn't believe it was any of the usual multitude of hassles at work that was bothering Jess anyway. Sam set down her coffee and turned her full attention to Jess, wanting to see her reaction. "So, how are things going with the new psychiatrist? Kim, right? She giving you problems?"
Jess choked on the mouthful of coffee she had just taken.
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. "You okay?"
Recovered from her coughing fit, Jess pushed back her chair and stood. "Yeah. I should go check on Thor."
Thor chose that moment to poke his head out of the kitchen.
"See he's fine," Sam said. "Come on, Jess. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on with this woman."
Jess shrugged, her gaze firmly locked on the table. "There's nothing to tell. Kim did a good job in the ER. She's done with her rotation and has gone back to psych." She began gathering up the dishes.
Sam stood and took the plates and cups out of Jess's hands and set them back on the table. "Leave these." She waited until Jess met her eyes. "You know I'm not going to let this go. So you might as well tell me."
"How can I tell you when I can't explain it to myself," Jess said.
Seeing the turmoil in Jess's eyes, Sam wrapped one arm around Jess's shoulders and squeezed. "Maybe we can make sense of it together, sis." She urged Jess toward the living room. "I'll grab us some more coffee. Then we'll talk."
* * *
Jess flopped gracelessly onto the couch. Her mind whirled as she tried to decide just what to tell Sam.
Thor lay down in front of the couch. He looked up and met Jess's eyes as if he could sense her jumbled emotions. He rested his head on her thigh and licked her hand, offering his own form of comfort.
Jess lovingly stroked the big dog's head. The peace and contentment she always felt at the simple act spread through her.
She glanced up when Sam set two mugs down on the coffee table.
Sam plopped down next to Jess on the couch. Reaching out, she began to gently pet Thor's neck.