Jess dropped her arms down to her sides and stood. After a slight hesitation she seemed to come to a decision. "You're welcome to use my office while you're assigned to the ER. It's very helpful to have you nearby for consults. You've done an excellent job this week."
Kim smiled brightly. It felt good to hear Jess praise her competence. It helped alleviate any lingering worries over Jess discovering what had happened at Memorial. "Thanks."
If they were going to be sharing an office, Kim decided to see if she could do away with the formal address between them. "Now that that's settled. How about you call me, Kim?" Kim sighed in disappointment when Jess's expression closed off. Shit. Pushed too hard. Kim quickly tried to fix things. "Of course, I only meant in private."
Jess's expression smoothed out and her body language relaxed. "Sure. And you can call me, Jess."
"Thanks, Jess."
"You're welcome, Kim." A smile ghosted across Jess's face and just as quickly disappeared. "Okay then, I need to get back to the ER. If I don't keep a tight rein on the children, all hell breaks loose."
Kim laughed softly inordinately pleased that Jess felt comfortable enough to even make such a comment. "I'm sure they're wondering where I disappeared to as well."
"They probably figure you fell into the evil clutches of the bitch of the ER."
A bit taken aback by Jess's words, Kim frowned. Jess was firm with her residents and her demeanor could be a bit stern. And while she had seen a few contentious interactions between Jess and her residents, Peter in particular, nothing she had witnessed would make her think of Jess as a bitch.
"Oh, that's one of the nicer things the residents call me." Jess shrugged. "I'm sure you'll hear them all very soon. And you'll probably call me some of them yourself before long."
Kim easily saw through Jess's defensive bravado. It was obvious to her that underneath Jess was hurt by the name calling. "Oh, I'm not worried, Jess. I'm confident we'll work well together."
Jess smiled. "I'm glad to hear it." She glanced at her watch. "It's almost the end of shift. Shall we head back into the fray one last time?"
"Of course. Lead the way." Kim was amazed at how lighthearted one rare smile from Jess made her feel. Not to mention the fact that the more she learned about Jess, the more she intrigued her. Her first week in the ER was definitely ending on a high note.
As they made their way back into the ER proper, Kim couldn't help comparing Jess to Anna, her ex-lover. It was becoming abundantly clear to Kim that the only thing Jess shared in common with Anna was their job title. Anna had reveled in the myriad of disparaging names the residents and staff alike called her. To Anna, they were a badge of honor, as if they proved to everyone how strong she was and in charge of her world — the ER.
A resident calling her name brought her thoughts back to business. Kim glanced at Jess and smiled. "See you later," she said before walking away to answer the resident's call.
CHAPTER 5
KIM STOPPED OUTSIDE the door to Jess's office. She looked down at the tray with two cups of coffee and a pastry that she had picked up on her way to work. Struck by the memory of all the times she had used this gesture as a segue to asking a woman out on a date, she reminded herself of the promises she had made to herself after the fiasco with Anna. You can do this. It's just a cup of coffee between colleagues. You promised yourself things would be different this time.
In the past, Kim had made the mistake of jumping into bed with a woman before getting to know her very well. And lived to regret it. That had certainly been the case with Anna. If she had known how closeted Anna was, she would never have gotten involved with her.
Conflicting emotions buffeted Kim. She had thought a lot about Jess over the weekend. That was the problem. She knew it was too soon to be thinking about becoming involved with someone. That didn't stop her attraction toward Jess. Try being her friend and forget about it becoming anything else. That would be a real first for you. She grimaced. That was too true. Kim couldn't remember that last time she had pursued a friendship with a woman for the sake of friendship alone and not as a prelude to sleeping with her. You condemned Mom for jumping from lover to lover, and now you've become just like her. That realization stung.
Kim jumped, startled out of her inner monologue by the sudden opening of Jess's office door.
Jess managed to grab the tray Kim was holding before she dropped it. She seemed surprised to find Kim standing outside her door. She handed the tray back to her. "What can I do for you?" Jess asked. She remained standing in the doorway of her office and made no move to invite Kim inside.
"Would it be okay if we went inside?" Kim asked, gesturing toward the office. For a moment, Kim thought she was going to refuse, but then Jess stepped back and motioned her into the room.
Kim set the tray on Jess's desk. She picked up one of the cups and held it out to Jess. "I brought you coffee and a muffin. I wanted to say thanks for letting me use your office."
Jess moved over toward her desk, but made no attempt to take the cup from Kim. "You didn't need to do that."
Kim could see how uncomfortable Jess looked. "I know, but I wanted to. Cream with no sugar... right?" Kim said as she offered the cup to Jess again.
Jess's eyes went wide, then she nodded. She reached out and somewhat reluctantly took the cup. "Um... thanks," Jess said as she sat the cup down on her desk.
"You're very welcome." Kim smiled warmly hoping to ease some of the tension she could see on Jess's face and body language. "There's also a great chocolate muffin in the bag." She held out the bag to Jess, who took it even more reluctantly than she had the coffee. "I ended up eating mine on the way in. Anything chocolate never lasts very long around me," Kim said with a sheepish laugh.
Kim's discomfort level rose when Jess didn't respond. She was beginning to regret coming to Jess's office. The few minutes of easy interaction on Friday when Jess seemed to relax and open up a little bit had disappeared. Kim sighed. A wave of disappointment washed over her. Okay, this friend thing may be harder than I thought. Just because you want to be friends doesn't mean Jess is going to let you. You've seen how she is with her staff. "Well, I'm sorry to have disturbed you. I'll be in psych if anyone needs me."
"Wait... Kim," Jess said.
Kim had almost reached the door when Jess's voice stopped her. She turned back toward Jess and raised her eyebrow in question.
Jess took the second cup of coffee from the tray and held it out to Kim. "Don't forget your coffee."
Kim had lost all interest in the coffee she had hoped to share with Jess, but took the offered cup anyway. She met Jess's gaze and was puzzled by what she thought was a bit of regret in her eyes.
"I um..." Jess cleared her throat. "I was just getting ready to head to the resident's morning conference. The lecture today is on evaluating the emergency room schizophrenic patient. I was wondering if you'd be interested in attending?"
"Sure. I'd be glad to go." Relief washed over Kim. Maybe I didn't screw up. In retrospect, she realized that she should have known that her offering would make Jess ill at ease. She had never seen her share so much as a cup of coffee or have a conversation that wasn't work related with anyone. "Which one of the psychiatrists is lecturing?"