that marks my beautiful sister’s face breaks my heart over and over.
“How could you after what you did?”
“I’m trying to get you back. I’m so sorry.”
Lula turns her attention to the right, looks at someone I cannot
see. She sucks her teeth. “Fine, I’ll leave her alone.”
“Who are you talking to?”
“Ma, that’s who. Typical, you send your whole family, living and
dead, to a next-level realm, and she still forgives you.”
“She does?”
“I won’t,” she says. “I’m never going to. Especially if you don’t
hurry up and fix this mess.”
“If you haven’t noticed, I’m a little busy trying to figure out
how to heal.”
“I’m the one who put the idea in that thick head of yours.” Her
face brightens with a mischievous smile-typical Lula, so clever.
“You’re a difficult one to reach. Rose’s been trying her best to help
us connect with you, but it’s like you don’t want to be found. You’re
impossible.”
“I get it. I’m scum.”
“Lower than scum.”
“Lula, please. I told Madra I could do this, but I don’t know
how.”
Lula sighs, resigning herself to being my spiritual guide. Even
she places her hand on my face. Her hand is warm and goes right
through me.
“When you use your power, what’s the first thing that comes to
mind?”
I think about the first time my powers manifested. I was afraid
when Miluna attacked me. I was angry when I conjured the snake. Then
there’s fear. Fear that made me fight back against the maloscuros,
that made me fly across the River Luxaria.
“Fear,” I tell her. “Anger.”
“That’s usually the key to physical powers.” She walks around the
room, holding her hands over Jesla’s shivering body. “Healing is
different.”
I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand. “I’m
having a bit of a hard time finding my Zen, if that’s where you’re
going.”
“Healing isn’t just about being calm.” She’s made a full lap
around the room and returns to me, hovering her palm over my chest. It
makes the pain from my scars subside. “What did you feel every time
I’ve mended your bones or cuts?”
“Warmth.”
“That’s love, Alex. That’s the love I have for you. Replace the
anger and fear and just think about the person you’re trying to heal.
You’re an encantrix . You can channel all the gifts from the Deos.
They’re right at your fingertips. You have to stop being afraid of
yourself.”
“What if I can’t do that? What if I just keep being afraid?”
“I’m scared too. You don’t know what it’s like here. We’re
trapped, and there’s nowhere to go. It takes so much energy to project
myself to you, but you need to know we’re counting on you. We know
you’re going to do everything you can to come get us. You don’t know
how strong you are.”
I press my hand on Jesla’s chest. Her pulse is a whisper. I can
fill myself with love, right? People do it all the time. Mom and Lula
do, so why is it so hard for me? When I close my eyes, I see the
maloscuros. I see the bloody parakeet in my hands. I see everyone I
love lying in a heap, just dead bodies.
“Sh,” Lula whispers in my ear. “Don’t do that. Remember the times
Dad took us to Coney?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to think about Dad.”
“Well you have to, okay? Because we loved him once, and he loved
us too. Remember, Alex. He’d take us every Sunday night to the
boardwalk. We’d fill up on corn dogs and popcorn until we were too
full to walk and we’d just lay there on the beach watching the sun
set.”
“I remember.” Sometimes it’s hard to find the good memories.
“It’s love, Alex. Love is you jumping through a portal despite
your own safety. Love is Mom singing in the car and Rose making tea
when we’re sick and even us fighting because we’re blood, and no
matter what you do, I’ll never forget that you are my sister.”
I let the magic uncoil from the pit of my stomach and flow through
me. It’s different than the other times. Brighter and stronger. It
leaves me in a flood, connecting to Jesla. Her eyes snap open, and she
gasps for air. Her back arcs, like there’s something inside her
fighting against my magic. I move my hand over the claw marks from the
saberskins. They’ve been cleaned, but they’re still bleeding. I focus
on the brilliant light that links me to the aviana, my magic embracing
her, calling her back from the darkness. When I feel her heartbeat
kick up to a normal rate, I let go.
“Easy,” Lula says. “The recoil is going to kick in soon. Move on
to the next. You can do it.”
My mind spins. I try to grab Lula’s hand, but I forget she’s only
a projection of herself.
“Don’t go there,” she tells me. “Not yet.”
There are white spots in my vision as I stumble to Hadrigal. Her
black wings hang over the sides of the stone slab. Her eyes roll to
the back of her head. I can feel her fading quickly, so I press my
hands over her heart and send a shock right into its center. I can
hear Lula cheering me on, telling me it’s working. I can feel my
healing energy flooding Hadrigal, returning the color to her cheeks,
mending the cuts over her chest until she has the same pearly scars I
do.
I fall on my knees, my head spinning like a carousel.
“Come on, Alex,” Lula says. “One more. You’re a natural, don’t you
see? Way better than I ever could be.”
I choke on a laugh. “Am I dying or something? You’re being really
nice.”
“I can’t hold on, Ale. Hurry.”
“Lula?” It’s hard to breath. She looks over her shoulder, her
apparition getting weaker.
“Oh no… It’s coming back.”
“Is it the Devourer? I’m going to kill it.”
Lula erupts in an earsplitting scream.
“Lula!” I reach for her but I grab air.
She’s gone.
I crawl on my knees to the next table. I lower my ear to the
aviana’s open beak. The breath is as faint as mine, but I have to find
a way. I repeat Lula’s words. That’s the love I have for you .
Love is Lula. Love is my mom. Love is Rose. Love is in this power
that I never asked for but courses through my veins like the blood of
my ancestors.
When I hear the sharp intake of the aviana, I let go. All three of
them are awake.
I fall on my face. I’m not ready for the recoil, but I brace
myself. I shut my eyes and think of my family.
“I wish you could see me now.”
20
All roads lead to the labyrinth.
- from the journal of Rosaria Vargas
When I wake, I feel like I’ve slept for a hundred years. Rishi
sleeps in the fetal position atop a pile of leaves, and Nova sits
beside me. We’re back in the nest.
“It’s funny,” I tell Nova, “having to remind myself that this
isn’t a dream.”
He nods but doesn’t look at me. He leans his head back against the
cool wall, watching the avianas in their bird form, flying around the
statue of El Cielo.
“You could have died,” he says.
“You told me an encantrix can do anything.”
He looks off to the side, avoiding my eyes. “Experienced ones. Not
ones who barely know how to control their power.”
“I had to do something to save your skin. A simple thank-you would
be nice.” I sit up and stretch the stiffness out of my body. I’m
covered in tender bruises, but it was worth it to know that my family