animal. He smiles. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“He worked in a butcher shop,” Rishi says. “He’s just trying to
make you guess the worst.”
“You have no chill, Rishi,” Nova tells her.
She blows him a kiss, and he rolls his eyes.
“So,” Nova says, “what was with all the glowing when you came out
of the pond? You looked like the painting of that Greek lady surfing
on a giant clam.”
Rishi slugs him in the arm and he just laughs. “Classy.”
“Oh come on,” Nova says. “I’m just trying to make things a little
less awkward. We could all go skinny-dipping and then we’d all be on
an even playing field.”
“Pass,” Rishi says.
“First of all,” I start, “that was probably one of my most
embarrassing moments, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make fun of
me.”
“Believe me,” Nova says softly, “there’s nothing to make fun of.”
Heat spreads from my solar plexus across my skin. I push the
feeling away and realize there is something I do want to know. “I have
a better idea than skinny-dipping.”
Nova’s eyes light up. “Yeah?”
“I want a secret.”
“ Psh. That hardly seems like a fair exchange.”
“You’re a Neanderthal,” Rishi mumbles.
“Mankind had to start somewhere,” he says. “At least I can make a
fire.”
“You used your magic,” Rishi counters.
Nova turns the rabbit. Juicy fat melts off and pops in the fire.
“Magic makes the world go ’round.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that you never had your Deathday?” I blurt
out, growing tired of Nova and Rishi’s bickering.
Whatever he thought I was going to say, it wasn’t that. He avoids
my eyes and cleans my dagger on his pant leg. Rishi looks like she’s
about to speak, but I shake my head. I want to give Nova space. I know
that’s what I’d want. I’m torn between wanting to know more about him
and wanting him to tell me on his own. We sit and watch the fire burn
and wait for Nova to be ready. But what if he’s not?
“How’d you know?” he finally says as a nonanswer.
“My great-grandmother appeared to me.” I fill him in on the charm
of Mama Juanita and the shadow smoke that attacked her the way it did
Lula and my mom. “She told me that power burns our human bodies
without the family blessing.”
I look at Nova’s hands. The black marks have spread farther up his
biceps. One tendril flows from his stomach to his clavicle and then
his shoulder.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Rishi asks.
He shrugs like it’s no big deal.
“Nova, stop. You know I can’t let you keep using your powers.”
“No one lets me do anything.”
“Well, maybe if someone did, you wouldn’t get yourself in so much
trouble.”
He shuts his eyes and gives me his cheek. “You guys don’t know
squat about me.”
“Then tell us something. Your answer is to act like the world is
against you. Believe me, I know. I felt like that every single day. I
felt like my magic was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.
It broke my family. It breaks so many people.”
“Now you’ve changed your mind?” He’s being defensive.
“Something’s changed-me, the magic, this place. I can’t explain
it. There are moments when the magic feels right . There are other
moments when I’m afraid of what I could be capable of. There’s this
tiny voice that takes pleasure in doing bad things. I’m afraid I could
become like the Devourer.”
“Never,” he tells me. He reaches for my face, but then he catches
himself and instead rubs his hands over his face.
“You could never be like that,” Rishi says.
Nova looks up at the sky and mouths a silent rezo. “I never had my
Deathday because my parents died when I was a kid. Deadbeat dad, drunk
mom, delinquent brothers and sisters. The only ones who got away were
my eldest brother, Unico, who turned his back on us and became a cop.
Then my sister, Cinqua. She ran away the first minute she got a chance
and I haven’t seen her since. I should have gone to my grandmother,
but she already had too many kids in the house. Plus, she was still
mad at my pops. Isn’t that something? Only brujas can stay mad at
someone who’s dead. Besides, my old man would’ve been real
disappointed if he knew I’m just a human matchstick.”
“Don’t say that,” I tell him.
He smiles, but I can see the strain in his face. “Don’t worry
about me, Ladybird. The first time my magic appeared, I hurt someone.
I didn’t mean to. Let’s just say my foster parents weren’t exactly out
of a fairy tale. My foster father deserved it. After that, I just kept
running and hiding. When the marks started, I wasn’t sure what was
happening. I don’t have a Book of Cantos like you, and I don’t belong
to no Circle. When my grandma finally took me in, she tried to give me
the family blessing. But my family’s so broken, even the dead have
forgotten us.”
“So you knew the consequences, but you use your powers anyway.”
Rishi licks her lip. She’s hungry. We’re all hungry, but it seems
wrong to eat while Nova is talking about his past. “Why?”
“Survival of the illest,” he says, but his laugh is forced. “I’ve
never been much good at being anyone other than who I am. Even if it
got me locked up. Even if it kills me in the end.”
“What happened?”
He shrugs. I hate when he shrugs.
“Girl was in trouble. I tried to help her from getting mugged.
Someone called the police. She couldn’t really tell me apart from the
people trying to hurt her.”
He won’t look at us. He’s startled when Rishi is the one who takes
his hand to give him comfort.
“The marks have only gotten worse recently.” He holds up his
hands. The black marks are as dark as ink. No wonder he has so many
tattoos. What better way to cover up his magical ones?
“I told myself I’d figure out a way to reverse it.” He holds his
hands up to the flames. “While I was in juvie, these guys showed me
there was a way.”
“Is that why you need the money?”
He looks down at his feet and nods.
“I promise I’ll help you,” I tell him. “After all of this, I’ll do
everything I can.”
“I don’t deserve that,” he says. “Besides, if I burn up in Los
Lagos, then you don’t have to pay me at all.”
And that does it. It hits me in the gut that he’s not here for me.
Not truly.
“I’m sorry, that was a stupid thing to say,” he says.
I put on a smile and shake it off. “Well, you’ve made up for it by
cooking dinner.”
“Hold up,” Nova says. “I confessed a secret. It’s Rishi’s turn.”
“A nice Guyanese girl like me?” Rishi winks. “Alex already knows
all my secrets.”
“I doubt that,” Nova mutters.
“I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I tell Rishi. “I was afraid
you’d see me differently. You were the one person that made me forget
about my magic.”
“I love your magic.” Rishi holds my stare. Her eyes flick to my
lips, then back to my eyes. “I should tell you that you look
different. Good different. You walk with your head up and your eyes
are brighter. You wear the magic on your skin. It’s the most beautiful
thing I’ve ever seen.”
I always used to say that magic transformed Lula. I didn’t think
it would do the same to me. But the more I use my power, the more I
feel it changing me.
Nova clears this throat. He takes the rabbit off the fire and
rests it between the three of us. “You guys ready to eat or what?”