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We touched the glasses.

– What was there Len'ka?

– Runny nose reliever.

– Really? Cool…

We chewed a couple franks each and I was drearily thinking that my anonymity was broken after all. Yesterday there were three attempts to catch me.

Today I was just 'calculated'.

– Lenia, I don't know a single diver personally, – said Maniac, – And I ain't gonna hunt for them. I don't have any complexes… especially towards my friends.

– Thanks, – I said.

– But you know… Just one question.

Sure, any hacker always has just one question. They think that it's possible to ask something after which all divers' mysteries become clear.

– Well?

-What does the diver do when he decides to exit virtuality, just thinks like 'I want to return to reality' or what?

– I heard that one diver… – I looked aside, – Mutters the stupid rhyme.

– Which one?

– Abyss-abyss, I'm not yours.

– And that's it?

– Sometimes he adds: "Abyss, let me go."

– And that's it? – asked Maniac dolefully.

– Yes.

– My, how simple…

Maniac searched in his pockets, took out the pack of 'Lucky Strike', lit the cigarette, then said with a slight resentment:

– It was so much simpler before. There are hackers, honest 'newbies' and lamers. The first ones can do everything, the second ones are learning. The third ones are stupid, it's not a sin to scoff at them. Just look at yourself: as you were a 'newbie' always, you're still the one.

I agreed.

– But then the deep emerged… it seemed that all our dreams come true.

– Maniac laughed bitterly – But in reality-hell no! I, the cool hacker, – he declared with a challenge, – am just one of the millions in the Abyss… well, just a little smarter possibly, I have some experience after all. But sometimes… such shit happens anyway…

He kept silence for some time, twiddling the frank in his hands, then informed:

– I ate a mouse a couple of days ago.

– What?!

– A computer mouse.. Well, not the mouse itself, it's too hard… just bit off the wire.

– Why? – I asked numbly.

– It was an accident… I was in the deep.. We were sitting in "Rainbow" with some guys, drinking beer with smoked fish… Well, I ran out of fish and took some from Max's plate..

– But Max doesn't drink beer!

– He drank 'Fiesta'. { orange soda }

– 'Fiesta'?! With smoked fish?

– Well, just for a company.. – Maniac sighed, – And well, possibly it was too far to get to his plate, so… looks like I jerked a bit in reality. When I exited – gee, the mouse's wire is bitten off! And, like… some wire is missing…

– Does your stomach ache?

– No, nothing so far…

We filled our glasses.

– Or this, – Maniac went on, – Do you know "Labyrinth of Death"?

– Yes, – I sobered up in an instant.

– I decided to have some fun not long ago, and entered the 17th level directly. They added so many stuff there recently! It's a nightmare of a game… well, in brief, I was stuck.

– What do you mean?

– I couldn't pass to the next level, but without passing it the exit menu doesn't pop up.

– And?…

– And I was sitting there for thirty-six hours, – said Maniac with rage, – The whole company of us idiots gathered there. We were shot dead at least ten times each, then we just blocked ourselves out in some basement, sang the songs, firing back at the monsters… until our timers went up.

– You have thirty-six hours limit of continuous being in the deep?

– Twenty-four now.

– What about Gal'ka?

– Ah, she was… at mother-in-law's place… Len'ka, what time limit do you have?

– I removed the limit, – I confessed.

– I see… diver… – Shurka laughed forcefully. – Shit, I never completely believed in you, even if suspected.

– Whom, me?

– Sure. Why the hell would the 'newbie' need battle viruses and antidotes?

I feel a little sad. Something have changed in our relations, and too sharply. Maybe it'll pass in some time…

– Shurka, I can't do anything – except to exit virtuality, any program for me is just a heap of senseless symbols and a launching file.

Maniac nodded.

– I understand. But just tell me, would you like to change places with me? What is more interesting: to create the deep or to rule it?

I'm silent.

– Pour me some beer, – sighed Maniac.

1000

I was at Maniac's place until late night, 'Guinness' was followed by 'Baltic #6', and for the dessert Shurka dug out the Christmas 'Kronenburg'. Neither Irish nor Petersburg nor French beer failed.

In the depth of my soul I was glad that I had opened to somebody. My hacker friends are divided into two groups: the first one keeps secrets until after the first bottle of beer, the other one kinda forgets all secrets by that point. Shurka belongs to the second one.

At least now he'll know what for do I need all this various virus soft which I drag out of him by all cunning means.

– How much simpler would it be if the deep wouldn't be so strong of an addiction, – I was thinking in the cab on my way home. – How much more right and simple… There wouldn't be a division into the lucky and the unfortunate ones which can't be overcome. There wouldn't be that ridiculous situation: excellent programmers not being able to cross the border between reality and illusion, and clumsy guys like myself who don't even notice this barrier.

There wouldn't ever be envy to each other and eternal hunt.

But is it my fault? I don't know why it happens myself, what flaw of consciousness makes one a diver, and it is of course a flaw since we are such a minority. It'd be stupid not to use this ability but too dreadful to offer it for everyone's study.

That's how it goes: somebody can do long jumps of eight meters, somebody writes poems, somebody is not dependent on virtuality. But why, why it's so few of us, so few that one should count not even in percent but by person?

– Here? – asked the driver.

– Yes, thanks.

I paid him, got out of the car and went towards my house feeling inflated like a balloon. Now I have to either fall asleep submitting myself to the morning hangover or to submerge into the deep: it cures hangover well.

On the second floor of the staircase where the light is on always for some reason, five teens were sitting, playing cards right on the floor, talking about something in dimmed voices… No, not talking, it'd be better to say growling to each other. I knew two of them, other three were unfamiliar. A little pack of smaller carnivores. They'd eagerly rip the loner apart in a dark corner but here I'm safe: carnivores don't hunt near their den.

– Hi, – said the guy who lives in the apartment above mine, in the same type of studio, together with his parents and older sister who often comes back only by the morning. Walls and ceilings in this house are thin enough for me to be well posted on all their troubles and quarrels.

– Hi, – I said.

– Lenia, do you have cigarettes?

I'm at least 15 years older than him, but these guys keep me as almost one of their age, maybe because I'm not married and empty beer cans prevail in my garbage.

– Hold on.

I'm not smoking myself, but there's always a pack or two of cigarettes at home for

visiting hackers. Smoking is their professional trait. The guy waited by the door patiently while I put the canister on the floor and was searching in the closet.