He believed her. He believed she’d no more notion of who and what had been involved in Vim’s great humiliation all those years ago than he had himself. To this extent, then, His Grace—and likely the ducal consequence, as well—had been guarding Vim’s back, not driving daggers into it.
“It is a night for revelations. Can we take a seat?”
There was nowhere to sit, except the Harrads’ humble wooden stoop. He lowered himself to it and patted the place beside him. “Cuddle up, Sophie. It’s too cold to stand on pride much longer, and we have a dilemma to solve.”
She sat, and he let out a sigh of relief.
“What is our dilemma?” She might have tucked herself just a bit closer to him, or she might have been trying to get comfortable on their hard wooden seat.
“If Kit is to have the best start possible in life, he needs two parents who love him and care for him.”
She focused on something in the distance, as if trying to see the notes her brother’s playing was casting into the chilly darkness. “I cannot be both mother and father to him; neither can you.”
“I suggest a somewhat more conventional arrangement. You be his mother, and I’ll be his father.”
The arrangement was conventional in the extreme: one baby, a mama, a papa. It was the most prosaic grouping in the history of the species. The slow pounding of Vim’s heart was extraordinary, though. He fought to speak steadily over it.
“I owe you an apology, Sophie Windham.”
She closed her eyes. “You are speaking in riddles, Mr. Charpentier.”
Not my lord, not baron, not Sindal. “Vim. I would be Vim to you, and I will start with the apology. When we were in Town—”
She shook her head. “That was then; this is now. That time was just a silly wish on my part, and we stole that time for ourselves despite all sound judgment to the contrary. If you are going to apologize to me for what took place there, I will not accept it.”
He thought she might get up and walk away, and that he could not bear. Not again, not everagain. Not for himself, and not for the child, either. He found her hand and took it in both of his.
“You took the notion I was offering you a sordid arrangement before we left Town.”
She ducked her face to her knees. “Must we speak of this?”
“I must.” It was his only real hope, to give her the truth and pray it was enough. “You were not wrong, Sophie.”
Her head came up. “I wasn’t?”
“I was offering you any arrangement you’d accept. Marriage, preferably, but also anything short of that. I was offering anything and everything I had to keep a place in your life.”
“No.” She wrestled her hand free and hunched in on herself. “You were being gallant or honorable or something no woman wants to have as the sole motivator of a man’s marriage proposal before she watches her husband go boarding a ship for the high seas. That wasn’t what I wished for. It wasn’t what I wished for, at all.”
He shifted so he was kneeling before her on the hard ground, as much to stop her from leaving as because it seemed the only thing left to do.
“Tell me what you wished for, Sophie. Tell me, please.”
“I wanted—” She paused and dashed the back of her hand against her cheek. “I wished for some Christmas of my own. I wished for a man who will care for me and stand by me no matter what inconvenient baby I’ve attached myself to. A man who will loveme, love our children, and sojourn through life with me. I wished, and then you appeared, and I wished—”
“What did you wish, Sophie?”
“I wished you were my Christmas, wished you could be all my Christmases.”
He wondered if maybe those shepherds on that long ago, faraway hillside had heard not the beating wings of the heavenly hosts but nothing more celestial than the beating of their own hearts, thundering with hope, wonderment, and joy.
“Happy Christmas, Lady Sophie.” He framed her face in his hands and kissed her, slowly, reverently. “Be all my Christmases, mine and Kit’s, forever and ever.”
She wrapped her fingers around his wrists and tried to draw his hands away when he brushed his thumbs over her damp cheeks.
“I cannot,” she said. “It isn’t enough that we both care for the child or that I care for you.”
He kissed her, kissed to silence her, kissed her to gather his courage. “Then let it be enough that I love you, you and the child both, and I will always love you. Please, I pray you, let it be enough.”
She drew back and studied him, and he could not stop the words from forming. “I don’t want to go to Baltimore. I don’t want to leave my aunt and uncle to continue managing when I should have been here years ago. I don’t want to avoid my neighbors because of some sad contretemps a dozen years ago, but I have wishes too, Sophie Windham.”
“What do you wish for?”
“A place in your heart. A permanent place in your heart. I wish for my children to have you as their mother. I wish for your idiot brothers to be doting uncles to our children and your sisters to be the aunts who spoil them shamelessly. I wish to make a home with you for our children, where your parents can come inspect our situation and criticize us for being too lenient with our offspring. I want one present, Sophie Windham—a future with you. That is my Christmas wish. Will you grant it?”
Lord Valentine’s impromptu recital came to a close as Vim posed his question, and silence filled the air.
“Please, Sophie?”
Vim was on his knees in the freezing darkness, and he reached for her. He reached out his arms for her just as she—thank God and all the angels—reached for him.
“Yes. Yes, Mr. Charpentier, I will be your Christmas, and you shall be mine, and Kit shall belong to us, and we shall belong to him, and my bro—”
He growled as he hugged her to him, and now, over in the church, Valentine’s choice was an ebullient, thundering chorus from the old master’s oratorio:
“ For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given… unto us, a son is given.”
How long she stayed in Vim’s arms there on the miserable cold steps Sophie could not have said. Spring could have come and gone and still she’d be reeling with joy and relief and hope.
Most of all with hope.
“Are you botheringour sister?”
Sophie raised her head to peer over Vim’s shoulder. Valentine, Westhaven, and St. Just were standing not ten feet away, and she hadn’t even heard them. St. Just had posed the question in that particularly calm tone that meant his temper could soon make an appearance.
Vim helped her to her feet and yet he kept an arm around her shoulders too.
“He was not bothering me. If you three can’t tell the difference between a man bothering an unwilling woman and kissing his very own intended, then I pity your wives.”
St. Just’s expression didn’t change, though Valentine was grinning, and Westhaven was quietly beaming at her. “And what of the child?” St. Just asked. “Sindal, do your good intentions encompass the child, as well?”
Vim’s arm tightened around her marginally. “Of course they do.” There was such a combination of ferocity and joy in his tone, Sophie couldn’t help but smile.
“That’s fortunate,” St. Just said, sauntering toward them. “You’ll be wanting this, then.” He withdrew a piece of paper from his coat pocket and passed it to Vim, who didn’t even unfold it.
“What is it?”
St. Just’s teeth gleamed in the darkness. “It’s the bill of sale for the mare and her unborn progeny.”
Vim glanced at Sophie, but she had no idea what her brother was about and was quite frankly too happy to care.
“It’s for the boy,” St. Just said. “I can’t exactly take the mare north in her present condition, and I don’t want to have come back south for her next fall, do I?”