“Four days dead, Josh. Four days. Divine Spark or not, the flesh is empty.”
“Simon will walk again if he is but bone,” said Joshua.
“Okey-dokey. But this has never been one of your better miracles.”
When we got to the tomb there was a tall, thin, aristocratic man sitting outside eating a fig. He was clean-shaven and his gray hair was cut short like a Roman’s. If he hadn’t worn the two-striped tunic of a Jew I would have thought him a Roman citizen.
“I thought you would come here,” he said. He knelt before Joshua. “Rabbi, I’m Joseph of Arimathea. I sent word through your disciple Matthew that I wanted to meet with you. How may I serve?”
“Stand up, Joseph. Help roll away this stone.”
As with many of the larger tombs carved into the side of the mountain, there was a large flat stone covering the doorway. Joshua put his arms around Maggie and Martha while the rest of us wrestled with the stone. As soon as the seal was broken I was hit with a stench that gagged me and Thomas actually lost his supper in the dirt.
“He stinks,” said Matthew.
“I thought he would smell more like a cat,” said Thomas.
“Don’t make me come over there, Thomas,” I said.
We pushed the stone as far as it would go, then we ran away gasping for fresh air.
Joshua held his arms out as if waiting to embrace his friend. “Come out, Simon Lazarus, come out into the light.” Nothing but stench came out of the tomb.
“Come forth, Simon. Come out of that tomb,” Joshua commanded.
And absolutely nothing happened.
Joseph of Arimathea shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “I wanted to talk to you about the dinner at my house before you got there, Joshua.”
Joshua held up his hand for silence.
“Simon, dammit, come out of there.”
And ever so weakly, there came a voice from inside the tomb. “No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’? You have risen from the dead, now come forth. Show these unbelievers that you have risen.”
“I believe,” I said.
“Convinced me,” said Matthew.
“A no is as good as a personal appearance, as far as I’m concerned,” said Joseph of Arimathea.
I’m not sure any of us who had smelled the stench of rotting flesh really wanted to see the source. Even Maggie and Martha seemed a little dubious about their brother’s coming out.
“Simon, get your leprous ass out here,” Joshua commanded.
“But I’m…I’m all icky.”
“We’ve all seen icky before,” said Joshua. “Now come out into the light.”
“My skin is all green, like an unripe olive.”
“Olive green!” declared Crustus, who had followed us into Kidron. “I told you it wasn’t chartreuse.”
“What the hell does he know? He’s dead,” said Abel.
Finally Joshua lowered his arms and stormed into the tomb. “I can’t believe that you bring a guy back from the dead and he doesn’t even have the courtesy to come out—WHOA! HOLY MOLY!” Joshua came backing out of the tomb, stiff-legged. Very calmly and quietly, he said, “We need clean clothes, and some water to wash with, and bandages, lots of bandages. I can heal him, but we have to sort of get all of his parts stuck back together first.”
“Hold on, Simon,” Joshua shouted to the tomb, “we’re getting some supplies, then I’ll come in and heal your affliction.”
“What affliction?” asked Simon.
Chapter 29
When it was all finished, Simon looked great, better than I’d ever seen him look. Joshua had not only raised him from the dead, but also healed his leprosy. Maggie and Martha were ecstatic. The new and improved Simon invited us back to his house to celebrate. Unfortunately, Abel and Crustus had witnessed the resurrection and the healing, and despite our admonishments, they started to spread the story through Bethany and Jerusalem.
Joseph of Arimathea accompanied us to Simon’s house, but he was hardly in a celebratory mood. “This dinner’s not exactly a trap,” he told Joshua, “it’s more like a test.”
“I’ve been to one of their trials by dinner,” said Joshua. “I thought you were a believer.”
“I am,” said Joseph, “especially after what I saw today, but that’s why you have to come to my house and have dinner with the Pharisees from the council. Show them who you are. Explain to them in an informal setting what it is that you are doing.”
“Satan himself once asked me to prove myself,” said Joshua. “What proof do I owe these hypocrites?”
“Please, Joshua. They may be hypocrites, but they have great influence over the people. Because they condemn you the people are afraid to listen to the Word. I know Pontius Pilate, I don’t think anyone would harm you in my home and risk his wrath.”
Joshua sat for a moment, sipping his wine. “Then into the den of vipers I shall go.”
“Don’t do it, Joshua,” I said.
“And you have to come alone,” said Joseph. “You can’t bring any of the apostles.”
“That’s not a problem,” I said. “I’m only a disciple.”
“Especially not him,” said Joseph. “Jakan bar Iban will be there.”
“So I guess it’s another night sitting home for me, too,” said Maggie.
Later we all watched and waved as Joseph and Joshua left to go back to Jerusalem for the dinner at Joseph’s house.
“As soon as they get around the corner you follow them,” Maggie said to me.
“Of course.”
“Stay close enough to hear if he needs you.”
“Absolutely.”
“Come here.” She pulled me inside the door where the others wouldn’t see and gave me one of those Maggie kisses that made me walk into walls and forget my name for a few minutes. It was the first in months. She released me and held me at arm’s length, then, “You know that if there were no Joshua, I wouldn’t love anyone but you,” she said.
“You don’t have to bribe me to watch over him, Maggie.”
“I know. That’s one of the reasons I love you,” she said. “Now go.”
My years of trying to sneak up on the monks in the monastery paid me back as I shadowed Joshua and Joseph through Jerusalem. They had no idea I was following, as I slipped from shadow to shadow, wall to tree, finally to Joseph’s house, which lay south of the city walls, only a stone’s throw from the palace of the high priest, Caiaphas. Joseph of Arimathea’s house was only slightly smaller than the palace itself, but I was able to find a spot on the roof of an adjacent building where I could watch the dinner through a window and still have a view of the front door.
Joshua and Joseph sat in the dining room drinking wine by themselves for a while, then gradually the servants let in the other guests as they arrived in groups of twos and threes. There were a dozen of them by the time dinner was served, all of the Pharisees that had been at the dinner at Jakan’s house, plus five more that I had never seen before, but all were severe and meticulous about washing before dinner and checking each other to make sure that all was in order.
I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I really didn’t care. There seemed to be no immediate threat to Joshua, and that was all I was worried about. He could hold his own on the rhetorical battlefield. Then, when it seemed that it would end without incident, I saw the tall hat and white robe of a priest in the street, and with him two Temple guards carrying their long, bronze-tipped spears. I dropped down off the roof and made my way around the opposite side of the house, arriving just in time to see a servant lead the priest inside.
As soon as Joshua came through the door at Simon’s house Martha and Maggie showered him with kisses as if he had returned from the war, then led him to the table and started interrogating him about the dinner.
“First they yelled at me for having fun, drinking wine, and feasting. Saying that if I was truly a prophet I would fast.”