“And what did you tell them?” I asked, still a little winded from the running to get to Simon’s house ahead of Joshua.
“I said, well, John didn’t eat anything but bugs, and he never drank wine in his life, and he certainly never had any fun, and they didn’t believe him, so what kind of standards were they trying to set, and please pass the tabbouleh.”
“What did they say then?”
“Then they yelled at me for eating with tax collectors and harlots.”
“Hey,” said Matthew.
“Hey,” said Martha.
“They didn’t mean you, Martha, they meant Maggie.”
“Hey,” said Maggie.
“I told them that tax collectors and harlots would see the kingdom of God before they did. Then they yelled at me for healing on the Sabbath, not washing my hands before I eat, being in league with the Devil again, and blaspheming by claiming to be the Son of God.”
“Then what?”
“Then we had dessert. It was some sort of cake made with dates and honey. I liked it. Then a guy came to the door wearing priest’s robes.”
“Uh-oh,” said Matthew.
“Yeah, that was bad,” said Joshua. “He went around whispering in the ears of all the Pharisees, then Jakan asked me by what authority I raised Simon from the dead.”
“And what did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything, not with the Sadducee there. But Joseph told them that Simon hadn’t been dead. He was just sleeping.”
“So what did they say to that?”
“Then they asked me by what authority I woke him up.”
“And what did you say?”
“I got angry then. I said by all the authority of God and the Holy Ghost, by the authority of Moses and Elijah, by the authority of David and Solomon, by the authority of thunder and lightning, by the authority of the sea and the air and the fire in the earth, I told them.”
“And what did they say?”
“They said that Simon must have been a very sound sleeper.”
“Sarcasm is wasted on those guys,” I said.
“Completely wasted,” said Joshua. “Anyway, then I left, and outside there were two guards from the Temple. The shafts of their spears had been broken and they were both unconscious. There was blood on one’s scalp. So I healed them, and when I saw they were coming around, I came here.”
“They don’t think you attacked the guards?” Simon asked.
“No, the priest followed me down. He saw them at the same time that I did.”
“And your healing them didn’t convince him?”
“Hardly.”
“So what do we do now?”
“I think we should go back to Galilee. Joseph will send word if anything comes of the meeting of the council.”
“You know what will come of it,” Maggie said. “You threaten them. And now they have the priests involved. You know what will happen.”
“Yes, I do,” said Joshua. “But you don’t. We’ll leave for Capernaum in the morning.”
Later Maggie came to me in the great room of Simon’s house, where we were all bedded down for the night. She crawled under my blanket and put her lips right next to my ear. As usual, she smelled of lemons and cinnamon. “What did you do to those guards?” she whispered.
“I surprised them. I thought they might be there to arrest Joshua.”
“You might have gotten him arrested.”
“Look, have you done this before? Because if you have some sort of plan, please let me in on it. Personally, I’m making this up as I go along.”
“You did good,” she whispered. She kissed my ear. “Thank you.”
I reached for her and she shimmied away.
“And I’m still not going to sleep with you,” she said.
The messenger must have ridden through several nights to get ahead of us, but when we got back to Capernaum there was already a message waiting from Joseph of Arimathea.
Joshua:
Pharisee council condemned you to death for blasphemy. Herod concurs. No official death warrant issued, but suggest you take disciples into Herod Philip’s territory until things settle down. No word from the priests yet, which is good. Enjoyed having you at dinner, please drop by next time you’re in town.
Your friend,
Joseph of Arimathea
Joshua read the message aloud to all of us, then pointed to a deserted mountaintop on the northern shore of the lake near Bethsaida. “Before we leave Galilee again, I am going up that mountain. I will stay there until all in Galilee who wish to hear the good news have come. Only then will I leave to go to Philip’s territory. Go out now and find the faithful. Tell them where to find me.”
“Joshua,” Peter said, “there are already two or three hundred sick and lame waiting at the synagogue for you to heal them. They’ve been gathering for all the days you’ve been gone.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Well, Bartholomew greeted them and took their names, then we told them that you’d be with them as soon as you got the chance. They’re fine.”
“I lead the dogs back and forth by them occasionally so we look busy,” said Bart.
Joshua stormed off to the synagogue waving his hands in the air as if asking God why he had been plagued by a gang of dimwits, but then, I might have been reading that into his gesture. The rest of us spread out into Galilee to announce that Joshua was going to be preaching a great sermon on a mountain north of Capernaum. Maggie and I traveled together, along with Simon the Canaanite and Maggie’s friends Johanna and Susanna. We decided to take three days and walk a circle through northern Galilee that would take us through a dozen towns and bring us back to the mountain just in time to help direct the pilgrims that would be gathering. The first night we camped in a sheltered valley outside a town called Jamnith. We ate bread and cheese by the fire and afterward Simon and I shared wine while the women went off to sleep. It was the first time I’d ever had a chance to talk to the Zealot without his friend Judas around.
“I hope Joshua can bring the kingdom down on their heads now,” Simon said. “Otherwise I may have to look for another prophet to pledge my sword to.”
I nearly choked on my wine, and handed him the wineskin as I fought for breath.
“Simon,” I said, “do you believe he’s the Son of God?”
“No.”
“You don’t, and you’re still following him?”
“I am not saying he’s not a great prophet, but the Christ? the Son of God? I don’t know.”
“You’ve traveled with him. Heard him speak. Seen his power over demons, over people. You’ve seen him heal people. Feed people. And what does he ask?”
“Nothing. A place to sleep. Some food. Some wine.”
“And if you could do those things, what would you have?”
Here Simon leaned back and looked into the stars, as he let his imagination unroll. “I would have villages full of women in my bed. I’d have a fine palace, and slaves to bathe me. I would have the finest food and wine and kings would travel from far away just to look at my gold. I would be glorious.”
“But Joshua has only his cloak and his sandals.”
Simon seemed to snap out of his reverie, and he wasn’t happy about it. “Just because I am weak does not make him the Christ.”
“That’s exactly what makes him the Christ.”
“Maybe he’s just naive.”
“Count on it,” I said. I stood and handed him the wineskin. “You can finish it. I’m going to sleep.”
Simon raised his eyebrows. “The Magdalene, she’s a luscious woman. A man could lose himself there.”
I took a deep breath and thought about defending Maggie’s honor, or even warning Simon about making advances on her, but then I thought better of it. The Zealot needed to learn a lesson that I wasn’t qualified to teach. But Maggie was.
“Good night, Simon,” I said.
In the morning I found Simon sitting by the cold ashes of the fire, cradling his head in his hands. “Simon?” I inquired.
He looked up at me and I saw a huge purple goose egg on his forehead, just below the bangs of his Roman haircut. A spot of blood seeped out of the middle. His right eye was nearly swollen shut.