“Yeah?”
“Please find Grandma.”
“But we’re watching The Rescuers.”
“Pause it.”
“Grandma doesn’t have pause!”
“You’re only going to miss a few minutes. I’ll tell you what happens.”
“Mommy, I don’t want you to spoil it for me.”
“Alice. Listen to my voice. Do I sound like I’m in the mood to debate this?”
“No . . .” Alice sounded hurt. “You’re using your mean voice.”
“Go get Grandma.”
The phone fell. A second later someone picked it up.
“Don’t use your mean voice, Mommy.” It was Noomi. Crying. Undoubtedly fake crying. Noomi almost never truly cried; she’d start fake crying long before she arrived at actual tears.
“I’m not using my mean voice, Noomi. How are you?”
“I’m just so sad.”
“Don’t be sad.”
“But you’re using your mean voice, and I don’t like it.”
“Noomi,” Georgie said, in what probably was her mean voice. “I wasn’t even talking to you. Calm down, for Christ’s sake.”
“Georgie?”
“Margaret!”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” Georgie said. “I just . . . Is Neal around? I really, really need to talk to Neal.”
“He went to do some last-minute shopping for the girls.”
“Oh,” Georgie said. “I guess he didn’t take his phone.”
“I guess not—are you sure everything’s okay?”
“Yeah. I just miss him. Them. Everybody.” She closed her eyes, then quickly opened them. “You and . . . Paul.”
Her mother-in-law was quiet.
Georgie decided to keep going. She wasn’t sure what she was fishing for. “I’m sorry the girls didn’t get to know him like I did.”
Margaret took a breath. “Thank you, Georgie. And thank you for letting Neal bring them to Omaha. Since we lost Paul, well, this is the hardest time of year to be alone.”
“Of course,” Georgie said, wiping her eyes with the heel of her thumb. “Just tell Neal I called.”
She pressed END and dropped the phone on the passenger seat.
That sealed it.
Georgie had lost her mind.
“Jesus Christ,” Seth said when she walked into the room. His jaw dropped, probably just for effect. “Jesus H. Christ on a thousand bicycles.”
Scotty shot Diet Coke through his nose. “Oh fuck,” he said. “Oh God, it burns.”
“Can we just—” Georgie tried.
“What happened to you?” Seth was out of his chair and circling her. “You look like Britney Spears, back when she was dating backup dancers and walking around gas stations barefoot.”
“I borrowed some of my mom’s clothes. I didn’t think you’d want me to waste another hour going home to change.”
“Or shower,” Seth said, looking at her hair.
“Those are your mom’s clothes?” Scotty asked.
“She’s a free spirit,” Georgie said. “We’re working now, right? I’m here, and we’re working?”
“There’s something green on your face,” Seth said, touching her chin. “It’s sticky.” Georgie jerked away, finding her seat at the long conference table.
Scotty went back to his lunch. “Is this what happens when Neal’s out of town? No wonder he keeps you on such a short leash.”
“I’m not on a leash,” Georgie said. “I’m married.”
Seth shoved a foam container in front of her. Georgie opened it. Soggy Korean tacos. She waited a second to figure out whether she was more sick or more hungry. . . . More hungry.
Seth handed her a fork. “You okay?”
“Fine. Just show me what you have so far.”
Not fine. Completely not fine.
“I should have told you? I did tell you. I said, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ I said ‘I love you, but I’m not sure it’s enough, I’m not sure it will ever be enough.’ I said, ‘I don’t want to live like this, Georgie’—remember?”
It made sense, really. If Georgie was going to have a delusional, paranoid nervous breakdown about her husband leaving her, it made sense that she’d flash back to the one time Neal actually had left her.
Sort of left her.
Before they were married.
It was Christmas break, their senior year. And they’d gone to some party, some TV party that seemed really important at the time. Seth was already working on a Fox sitcom, and he wanted Georgie to meet all the other writers on the show—the star was even supposed to be there. It was just a party in somebody’s backyard, with a pool and beer and Christmas lights threaded through the lemon trees.
Neal spent the whole night standing next to the fence and refusing to talk to anybody. Refusing on principle. As if making small talk—as if being polite—would be too much of a concession. (A concession to Seth. To California. To the fact that Georgie was going to get a job like this with these sorts of people, and Neal would be along for the ride.)
So he stood by the fence with the cheapest beer available and dead-bolted his jaw into place.
Georgie was so infuriated by this little sit-in, she made sure she and Neal were some of the last people to leave. She met and talked to all of Seth’s new work friends. She played her part in the Seth-and-Georgie show. (It was a good part; Georgie got most of the punch lines.) She made everyone there love her.
And then she got into Neal’s worn-out Saturn, and he drove her to her mom’s house. And he told her he was done.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he said.
“I love you,” he said, “but I’m not sure it’s enough, I’m not sure it’ll ever be enough.”
He said, “I don’t want to live like this, Georgie.”
And the next morning, he’d left for Omaha without her.
Georgie didn’t hear from Neal that whole week. She thought they were over.
She thought that maybe he was right, that they should be over.
And then, on Christmas morning, in 1998, Neal was there at her front door—down on one knee on the green indoor-outdoor carpeting, holding his great aunt’s wedding ring.
He asked Georgie to marry him.
“I love you,” he said. “I love you more than I hate everything else.”
And Georgie had laughed because only Neal would think that was a romantic thing to say.
Then she said yes.
Georgie plugged her cell phone into her laptop and made sure the ringer volume was turned all the way up.
“What are you doing?” Seth asked. “No cell phones in the writers’ room, remember? That’s your rule.”
“We’re not even officially here,” Georgie said.
“You’re not even unofficially here,” he snapped back at her.
“I’m sorry. I have a lot on my mind.”
“Right. Me, too. Four scripts, remember?”
She rubbed her eyes. It was just a dream. Last night. Even though it hadn’t felt like a dream—that’s all it could have been. An episode.
That was something people had. Normal people. Episodes. And then they laid cool cloths over their eyes and made plans to spend time near the sea.
Neal had been on her mind, Neal’s dad had been on her mind—and her brain had done the rest. That’s what Georgie’s brain was good at. Episodic storytelling.
“Probably the most important week of our career,” Seth was mumbling, “and you decide to check out.”