Georgie knew that expression. She sat up and turned around to see what Seth wanted.
Seth had stepped all the way into the production room—usually he didn’t come past the door. But tonight he sat down on a stool near Georgie and leaned onto a desk. “Hey, Neal, what’s going on?”
“Not much,” Neal muttered without looking up.
Seth nodded and turned to Georgie. “So we’re just waiting on that cover story. Mike and Brian are still hammering it out.”
Georgie looked down at her watch. The Spoon went to press tonight. She and Seth were the managing editors, so they’d have to wait for the story, set it, then send the files to the printer. It’d be a late night.
“There’s no reason for both of us to stay,” Seth told her. “You should just take off.”
“That’s okay,” Georgie said. “I’ll stay. You go home.”
Seth wrinkled his nose. She was pretty sure he did it because it was adorable. She was pretty sure Seth had practiced all his facial expressions and gestures in front of a mirror, and worked out which ones made him look like a cross between an Abercrombie model and a kitten. “I don’t want to dump it on you,” he said. “You might be here all night.”
“I really don’t mind,” she said. “Don’t you have a date?”
He nodded slowly. “I do have a date.”
“With the lovely Breanna, I’ve heard.”
“With the lovely Breanna,” Seth said, still nodding; he pursed his lips and twisted them to the side.
“Go on,” she said. “You can owe me.”
Seth narrowed his eyes at Georgie, then at Neal, then seemed to make up his mind. “Okay.” He stood up. “I owe you.”
“Have fun on your date,” she said.
He got as far as the door, then spun around. “You know what? I’ll call Breanna. I can’t just abandon you like this. It’s going to be late, you’ll have to walk to your car by yourself—”
“Don’t worry about it,” Neal said. Georgie looked back at him, surprised to hear his voice. “I’ll be here,” he said. “I’ll make sure she gets to her car.”
Seth stared at Neal. Georgie was pretty sure they’d never made eye contact before; she waited for one or both of them to start on fire.
“What a gentleman,” Seth said.
“It’s nothing,” Neal parried.
“Great,” Georgie said, trying to signal Seth with her eyes—wishing they had a nonverbal sign for Leave me alone with this cute guy, you idiot. “Problem solved. Go ahead, Seth. Go on your date. Get down with your bad self.”
“I guess that’s settled then. . . .” Seth nodded again. “All right. Well. See you tomorrow, Georgie. You still coming over? To my room?”
“Yep. Give me a call when you sweep out the lovely Breanna and all of her underthings.”
“Right,” he said, and finally walked away.
Georgie turned back to Neal, feeling fluttery.
“You have terrible taste in sidekicks,” he said after a moment.
“Writing partner,” she corrected.
“Hmm.”
Neal did walk her to her car that night. And he was a perfect gentleman.
Much to Georgie’s disappointment.
Neal had sounded different, too, last night on the phone.
His voice was a little higher, his thoughts came out looser. Neal with less clench, less control.
He’d sounded like the boy on the other side of the drafting table.
CHAPTER 15
Seth and Scotty both liked to be laughed at.
As long as Georgie laughed at their jokes, they usually wouldn’t notice that she wasn’t contributing to the brainstorming, that she was just writing things they said on the whiteboard and underlining them.
But today wasn’t usually. Seth was still watching Georgie like he was trying to figure out was going on. . . .
Well, he could keep on trying—he was never going to come up with, Magic fucking phone! (Though Georgie was a little worried he’d figure out she wasn’t wearing underwear.)
Seth and Scotty brainstormed.
Georgie brain-hurricaned.
What if it was happening for a reason? What if she was supposed to fix what was wrong between her and Neal? “What’s wrong?” wasn’t such an easy question to answer.
Oh, she could answer it broadly:
A lot.
A lot was wrong between them, even on good days. . . .
(The breakfast-in-bed and coming-home-early days. Days when Neal’s eyes were bright. When the girls made him smile, and he made them laugh. Easy days. Christmas mornings. Coming-home-late days when Neal would catch Georgie at the door and crowd her against the wall.)
Even on good days, Georgie knew that Neal was unhappy.
And that it was her fault.
It wasn’t just that she let him down, and put him off, and continually left him waiting—
It was that she’d tied him to her so tight. Because she wanted him. Because he was perfect for Georgie, even if she wasn’t perfect for him. Because she wanted him more than she wanted him to be happy.
If she loved Neal, if she really loved him . . .
Shouldn’t she want more for him than with me, always with me?
What if Georgie could give Neal the chance to start over? What would he do?
Would he join the Peace Corps? Would he go back to Omaha? Marry Dawn? Marry somebody even better than Dawn?
Would he be happy?
Would he come home from work every night, smiling? Would Dawn or Better-Than-Dawn already have dinner on the table?
Would Neal crawl into bed and pull her close to him, fall asleep with his nose in the hollow of her neck. . . .
Georgie had gotten that far in her imagining—to Neal spooning with his more-suitable-than-Georgie wife—when she imagined Neal’s second-chance kids in this second-chance world. Then she slammed the door shut on all his hypothetical happiness.
If the universe thought Georgie was going to erase her kids from the timeline, it had another fucking thing coming.
She went to the bathroom and cried for a few minutes. (That was one good thing about being the only woman on the writing staff—Georgie almost always had the bathroom to herself.)
Then she spent the next hour mentally throwing the yellow rotary phone down a deep well and filling it in with concrete.
She wasn’t going to touch that thing again.
It wasn’t really a conduit to the past. It wasn’t magic. There was no such thing as magic. (I don’t believe in fairies. Sorry, Peter Pan.) But Georgie still wasn’t going to risk it. She wasn’t a Time Lord, she didn’t want a Time-Turner. She felt weird even praying for things—because it didn’t seem like she should ask God for something that wasn’t already part of the plan.
What if Georgie accidentally erased her marriage with these phone calls? What if she erased her kids? What if she’d already screwed something up—would she even know?
She tried to remind herself that this was all an illusion. That she didn’t have to worry about the dangerous implications, because illusions don’t have implications.
That’s what she tried to remind herself, but she wasn’t sure she believed it.
Illusion.
Delusion. Mirage.
Magic fucking phone.
“Korean tacos again?” Seth asked.
Georgie nodded.
After two months of hanging out in The Spoon’s production room, Georgie was 53 percent sure that Neal liked her.