I felt my chest and my face slam against the glass. I heard it break, and I thought, Surely now I will die. I will go up into the peace and into the night and into the stars, and God will explain why all this has come about.
It seemed I saw the valley. I saw the town burning. I saw every window a fiery mouth. I saw hovels blazing. I saw the bodies strewn all around me and in a daze I realized that these were not the visions of a rising soul. I still lived.
And then the mob came, and once again laid hands on me in their fury. “Drag him to the circle,” they said. “Drag all of them, burn them in the circle, burn the witches and the Taltos.”
All was blackness and panic, a gasp for breath, a desperate attempt for purchase-nothing for one moment that was not wild animal struggle, no, dear God, help us, don’t let it be the flames.
As they raised me to my feet I saw the dim ancient circle of stones surrounding us, their crude outlines looming against the sky and against the flames of the town burning behind us, the flames engulfing the great Cathedral, all of its beautiful glass broken and gone.
A stone struck me, and then another, and another. And a third brought the blood pouring from my eye. I heard the flames. I felt the heat. But I was dying beneath the stones. One after another they struck my head, pitching me this way and that way so that I scarce felt the fire when it touched me…
“Dear God, into Thy hands, Thy servant Ashlar can do no more. Dear God. Infant Jesus, take me. Blessed Mother, take me. Francis, come to help me up. Holy Mary, Mother of God, now and at the hour…into Thy hands!”
And then…
And then.
There was no God.
There was no Baby Jesus in my arms.
There was no Blessed Mother, “now and at the hour of our death.”
There was no Light.
There was no judgment.
There was no heaven.
There was no hell.
…
There was darkness.
…
And then came Suzanne.
Suzanne calling in the night.
Ashlar, St. Ashlar.
A bright fleshly being, scarcely visible in the circle! And look at it, the ring of stones, how round! Hear her voice!
And down the long long years the call came, feeble and tiny, like the faintest spark, and then louder and clearer, and I came together to hear it:
“Come now, my Lasher, hear my voice.”
“Who am I, child?” Was this my voice speaking? Was this my own true voice speaking at last?
No time, no past, no future, no memory…
Only a dim vision of warm flesh through the mist, a blurred entity reaching upwards from the circle.
And her childlike answer, her laughter, her love:
“My Lasher, that’s who you are, you are my avenger, my Lasher, come!”
Thirty-seven
LASHER SAT SILENT with his hands flat on the table, his head bowed.
Michael said nothing, but cautiously looked up at Clement Norgan, and then at Aaron, and at Erich Stolov. He could see the compassion in Aaron’s face. Erich Stolov was amazed.
Lasher’s face was very calm, almost serene. The tears were there again, these tears he wears like jewels, Michael thought, and Michael shuddered all over as if trying to break the spell of the being’s beauty, of its soft even voice.
“I am yours, gentlemen,” said Lasher in the same gentle manner, gazing at Erich Stolov. “I have come to you after all these centuries to ask for your help. You offered it to me once; you told me your purpose; I didn’t believe you. And now, I find myself hunted and threatened again.”
Stolov glanced uneasily at Aaron and at Michael. Norgan watched Stolov as if for some cue.
“You’ve done right,” said Stolov. “You’ve done wisely. And we’re prepared to take you to Amsterdam. That is why we’re here!”
“Oh no. You won’t do this,” said Michael softly.
“Michael, what do you want of us?” demanded Stolov. “You think we can stand by and let you destroy this creature?”
“Michael, you have heard my story,” said Lasher sadly, wiping at his tears again so like a child.
“Be assured no harm will come to you,” said Stolov. He turned to Michael. “We’re taking him with us. We’re taking him out of your hands and out of any place where he can hurt you or any of your women. It will be as if he was never here…”
“No, wait,” said Lasher. “Michael, you’ve listened to me,” he said, his voice heartbroken as before. He leant forward; his eyes were glazed and imploring. He looked for all the world like the Christ of Dürer.
“Michael, you cannot hurt me,” he said, his voice unsteady and filled with soft emotion. “You cannot kill me! Am I to blame for what I am? Look into my eyes, you cannot do it. You know it.”
“You never learn, do you?” Michael whispered.
Aaron quickly tightened his grip on Michael’s shoulder.
“There will be no killing,” Aaron said. “We will take him with us. We’ll go to Amsterdam. I shall go with Erich and with Norgan. And with him. I shall make absolutely certain that he is taken directly to the Motherhouse and there placed…”
“No, you won’t,” said Michael.
“Michael,” said Stolov, “this is too big a mystery to be destroyed in an instant by one man.”
“No, it isn’t,” said Michael.
“We have only begun to understand,” said Aaron. “Dear God. Don’t you realize what this means? Michael, come to your senses-”
“Yes, I do realize,” said Michael. “And so did Rowan. Mystery be damned.” Michael glared at Stolov. “This was always your goal, wasn’t it? Not to watch and wait and collect knowledge, but just what the Dutchman told Lasher, to bring the Taltos together, to unite a male and a female and begin the breed again.”
Erich shook his head. “We will let no harm come to anyone,” said Stolov, “and above all, not to him. We want only to study, to learn.”
“Oh, you lie,” said Michael. “All of you, and now you too, Aaron, are swept up in it. He has at last seduced even you.”
“Michael, look at me,” said Lasher in a half whisper. “To take a human life requires the greatest will, the greatest vanity. But to take mine? Are you mad, that you would commit me again to the unknown, without examination, that you would undo the miracle! Oh no, you wouldn’t do this. You are not so heedless. So cruel.”
“Why must you win me over?” asked Michael. “Don’t you rely on these other men to protect you?”
“Michael, you are my father. Help me. Come with us to Amsterdam.” He turned to Stolov. “You have the woman, don’t you? The female Taltos. In all my attempts, I failed. But you have it.”
Stolov said nothing, but held his gaze evenly.
“No, all that is fancy,” said Aaron. “We have no female Taltos. We have no such secrets. But we will give you shelter, don’t you see? We will provide a sanctuary in which you can be questioned, and write out the tale you’ve told us, and in which we will aid you in any way that we can.”
Lasher gave a small smile to Aaron, and again he glanced at Stolov. He took another careless swipe at his tears with his long graceful hand. Michael did not take his eyes off the creature.
“Aaron, they killed Dr. Larkin,” said Michael. “They killed Dr. Flanagan in San Francisco. They would destroy any obstacle. They want the Taltos, and it is as the Dutchman told Ashlar five hundred years ago! You’ve been their dupe and so have I. You knew it when we came into this room.”
“I can’t believe it. I can’t. Stolov, talk to me,” said Aaron. “Norgan, go, call Yuri. Yuri is with Mona at the other house. Call there. He must come.”
Norgan didn’t move. Slowly Stolov rose to his feet.
“Michael,” said Stolov, “this will be difficult for you. You want vengeance, you want to destroy.”