"So you're not going to get it?"
"Can't."
"Why not?"
"Hey," he said, stepping back as he motioned toward his crotch. "They don't make rings this freakin' big."
"That's a problem."
"Not to mention the hassle. Imagine setting off metal detectors for the rest of your life and having to announce to the world, “Calm down, folks, nothing to worry about. It's just my dick ring.”
"I can see where that would get old."
"And let's not forget, we're talking about a ring, a needle, and the one-eyed monster. You don't go stickin' a needle in the monster's eye."
"You make a strong case."
"Damn straight."
The married guys seated near Jack ordered cocktails for exhibits A and B in their future divorce proceedings. Theo was making cosmopolitans when Uncle Cy tapped him on the shoulder.
"I'm feelin' tired," the old man said. "You mind calling me a cab?"
"That's a thirty-dollar fare," said Theo.
"I can take you," said Jack. He glanced toward the pool table, where Rene was emasculating an unsuspecting biker at a game of eight ball. "Rene and I go right by the Grove on our way home."
"Thanks, but I don't want to cut your night short."
"No problem. There are other bars in Miami."
"No, there ain't," said Theo.
Cy smiled. "I'll just lie down for a while in back. Let me know when you and Rene are ready to go."
They argued about it for a minute, but Cy won out. He headed back to the stockroom adjacent to Theo's office, where Theo kept a cot. Theo was about to go along and help his uncle set up, but Jack stopped him.
"Andie Henning came by my house to see me today."
Theo laughed heartily, glancing toward Rene. "Timing is everything, ain't it?"
"She was asking about Isaac Reems."
"I thought the state attorney promised not to mention my name."
"She kept the promise. They linked me up to Reems another way. But let's be real. Once the BOLO went out and said Reems was last seen at Sparky's, Andie must have immediately thought 'Theo Knight.'"
"I'm surprised she didn't just call me. I got no hard feelings. The two of you didn't work out, but she's still welcome here."
"After what she said?"
"She didn't say nothin', Jack. You two were drinking, having fun. She made a dumb-ass joke about me landing you in jail."
"Getting me disbarred," said Jack, correcting him.
"Whatever."
"Don't dismiss it. It bugs me, the way a cop's mind works. So what if the DNA proved you didn't kill that convenience-store clerk? If you didn't do that crime, you were probably doing something when the cops picked you up that night. Or, if you weren't doing something right at that very moment, you've probably done a whole lot of other things in your life."
"I have done a lotta other things," said Theo.
"That's not the point."
"You're right. The point is, Andie made a joke, and you jumped all over it."
"What are you talking about?"
"Forget it. Don't make no difference anyhow," he said, pointing with his eyes toward Rene. She was still having her run of the pool table. "There's your woman, right over there. Beautiful. Smart. Rich."
"You know she gave away most of what she inherited. Tons for AIDS research. I'm guessing she's down to a million or less."
"Down to a million? Like I said, she's freakin' rich, okay?"
Jack gave a little smile, but it faded. "She's going back to Africa Monday."
"Lucky you."
"What?"
"That's the way you like it, no? It's easy to convince yourself that you love a woman who's never around. It only gets hard when you have to admit you love someone who's actually here, in love with you, and ready to change your life forever."
"That's such psychobabble."
Rene waved to Jack from across the room.
"If it is," said Theo, "then make her stay."
"I can't make her stay. What am I supposed to do, kidnap her?"
"Just make her not want to leave," said Theo. "I dare you."
Jack finished the last of his beer. "All right, I will."
Theo waited, but Jack didn't move. "Well, go on then."
"I'm going. As soon as I finish my brewski."
"It is finished."
Jack took a dry pull from the empty bottle. Theo laughed and gave him a friendly shove, but it was still hard enough to knock Jack off the bar stool and start him in Rene's direction.
"There he goes, ladies and gentlemen: the world's greatest lover."Then Theo lowered his voice and added, "So long as there's an ocean between him and his woman."
Theo watched as Rene stepped toward Jack to greet him, tossing her hair and slipping her arms around his waist as if they were a perfect fit. It made Theo think about Trina – a pleasant enough thought that was quickly interrupted by the imagined pain of a Prince Albert. But he still felt this sudden need to talk to her.
The telephone rang under the bar. No one would expect him to pick up on a busy Saturday night – except Trina. Hell, what did she want him to do now, pierce his eyeball? He let it ring.
"You want me to get that?" asked his cocktail waitress.
"No," he said a little too firmly.
The waitress shrugged it off and went back to slogging drinks.
The ringing stopped. He could have hit star-69 to confirm his instincts, but he was sure it was Trina. She would want to know how it had gone with Manny the body piercer, and then he would have to tell her exactly what he'd just told Jack – that she must be out of her mind, and that it was over between them. There was only one problem. He wasn't sure he could say it.
What's wrong with you, homeboy?
The telephone rang again. Trina obviously wasn't going to take Theo's machine for an answer. He snatched up the phone and said hello. Dead air. It was one of those cheapo cordless receivers that worked about as well as the Batman walkie-talkies he'd stolen from a toy store as a kid. He pitched it aside and hurried to his office. That phone shared the same line, and it was ringing as he entered the room. He closed the door and started toward the desk, but his answering machine picked up before he could get to it. The recorded greeting was in Theo's voice, a throwback to his days as a jailhouse lawyer.
"You have the right to remain silent… or you can leave a message at the beep."
The tone sounded, and Theo waited for the message. He heard only traffic noises, which told him that it was either a cell or a pay phone. He wasn't sure why Trina would be calling from a pay phone – and then he realized who else it could be. Cy was in the next room, and Theo didn't want him to overhear a message being left. He picked up but didn't answer.
"Theo, you there?"
He recognized Isaac's voice immediately. He was about to speak, but then a thought crossed his mind. Jack had told the cops there would be no search of the premises, but what if they'd tapped his telephone, waiting for Isaac to call back?
"Come on, dude. I heard you pick up the phone."
Theo just listened.
"Answer me, brotha'. I need a deal. I know you wanna deal with me, too."
Theo wanted to respond, but the possibility of a law-enforcement tap on the telephone tied his tongue in knots.
"What's the matter with you, boy? Say somethin'!"
Isaac wasn't even trying to sound cool anymore. Sirens blared in the background.
"Knight, answer me already! You hear me? I know you can hear – aw, fuck you, then. That's all I got to say to you. Just-"
Theo waited for a click on the other end of the line, but it didn't come. He couldn't tell if Isaac was still there or not.
The sirens were only getting louder.