“Ahem.” The sound of someone’s throat clearing nearby sent them both backward. “Don’t mind me. I just came by to drop off the feed.”
Every single cell in Stella’s body jolted as if she’d been hit with a live wire while soaking wet. Her face went numb, assaulted by thousands of invisible needles. The fleeting fear that she might be going into shock raced across her mind.
Jesse Ramirez leaned in the entryway. His eyes met Stella’s and he raised a questioning brow but said nothing as he carried feedbags into the storage stall.
“Here. I’ll give you a hand with that,” Van offered, moving away from her.
When they finished, she was standing awkwardly by Shadowdancer.
Jesse thanked Van for the help and turned to face her. “Stella, can I talk to you privately for a moment?”
I am so fired. Fear stole her hold on her center of gravity as she took carefully measured steps toward where his truck was parked. She could feel Van’s steady gaze on her but she didn’t so much as look in his direction. Not that it much mattered now. He’d seen them.
She wasn’t sure if Jesse had the power to fire her, but she knew he would be completely justified in reporting what he’d witnessed to his father, which would almost certainly lead to her termination.
And then… She didn’t even want to think about it. She’d have nothing. Just a cold home to return to with her tail between her legs because she’d screwed up. Her mother had been right. She couldn’t make it on her own.
“What you saw in there… Um, I don’t exactly know what to say about that,” she began.
Jesse’s hazel eyes went wide as he put a hand up between them. “Look, it’s really none of my business. I just wanted to tell you to be careful and make sure that you were okay.”
“I’m fine. And thank you.” She smiled gratefully. “I wish I could say it wasn’t what it looked like, but I don’t know what it looked like. And I don’t exactly know what it was. Maybe it was nothing.”
Jesse gave her a small smile and tipped his cowboy hat. “I’m no expert, darlin’. But I think we both know it was something.”
She nodded, trying her best to ignore her racing pulse. If Jesse hadn’t interrupted them, she had no idea what would’ve happened. But she could guess. And fantasize.
Before her heated imagination ran away with her, she glanced over her shoulder to check that Van was still out of hearing range.
“I know you probably think I’m like all of the other women here, wanting a piece of Mr. Rock Star. But I promise, even though I don’t know what it is exactly… I want you to know it’s not like that.”
Jesse removed his hat and ran his hand along his forehead before replacing it. “Stella, I don’t know you very well. But from what little bit I do know, I already knew that much.” He frowned at her. “Don’t go putting words in my mouth, lady. I’m not one to judge. Believe me.”
Stella Jo eyed him thoughtfully. At first glance, Jesse Ramirez was the perfect specimen. Exactly the kind of man she should be attracted to. But something was…different about him. She heavily suspected that Jesse might be gay. Certain things he did, the gentle way he dealt with the animals for one, in addition to the fact that he wasn’t married, hadn’t mentioned dating anyone, and from what she could tell, hadn’t given anyone other than the horses a second look, made her wonder. His nonjudgmental nature indicated he might’ve been judged unfairly himself a time or two. She hoped not. But it was Texas. Not exactly the ideal mecca of acceptance. He was sweet and kind, and she liked him. Considered him a friend already due to their shared love of animals.
“Jess, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’d really appreciate if you didn’t say anything to your dad about this. I know fraternizing with the pat—er, clients is against the rules and I love it here. I don’t want to lose my job.”
He frowned at her. “Fraternizing, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
She smacked him lightly on the arm. “Stop.”
He grinned widely and then sighed. “Your secret’s safe with me, Stell. I got plenty of my own to deal with. No interest in giving out other people’s.” For a split second, he looked forlorn. But then his grin slid back into place. “Plus I kind of like working with you. You’re the only one Shadowdancer will let near him and I’m grateful for the help.”
Stella smiled warmly. “I’m grateful to be of help.” She winked and thanked him again for not ratting her out.
Once he’d left, she turned back to where Van stood. Their gazes collided, desire warring with apologetic remorse.
“Think he’ll say anything?” Van asked as she approached.
“Say anything about what?”
“We’re back there again? You gonna pretend the last ten minutes just didn’t happen?” Van’s face contorted into a mask of disgust.
“No,” she said, letting her own anger edge her tone. “I just meant all he saw was a hug. And he’s not going to run and tell his dad I hugged you. Jesse’s a decent guy.”
“Agreed. But that was a hell of a hug, Stella Jo. Can I have another one?”
In spite of her frustration at the entire complicated mess, she grinned. “Do you really need one?”
He followed her back into the barn, keeping close behind her as she straightened up blankets that were already plenty straight enough.
“I don’t know what I need. I have no idea what it will take to fix me,” he said, keeping his voice low and intoxicating. “But I have a feeling you’re a part of it.”
Her mouth went instantly dry as she tried to lick her lips. “What if I can’t be what you need, Van? What if I’m not enough? I mean, I don’t even know what happened and we can’t just—”
“Calm down, cowgirl. You’re doing it again.”
She turned to face him. “Doing what?”
“Getting all worked up.”
She threw both of her hands up, startling Shadowdancer. She cast an apologetic glance in his direction. “Well,” she began, purposely lowering her voice. “I’m scared. I’m nervous and afraid and I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Van leaned toward her, resuming their position from before Jesse Ramirez surprised them. “That makes two of us.”
Chapter Twelve
It had taken every ounce of self-control he possessed to walk away from her the night before. To walk her to her door like the gentleman he could never be. But he’d done it. The small inches of progress they’d made would have to tide him over. For now, at least.
After his group session, Dr. McLendon had checked in with him to see if he was okay. He’d reassured her that he was perfectly fine and would try and restrain himself from trashing her office like so many tour buses and hotel rooms before it. But when he walked into the Atrium, where his manager was meeting him for lunch, his determination to behave like an upstanding member of society vanished.
Stella Jo Chandler stood near a table on the edge of the expansive sunlit room. The white shirt she was wearing clung to her skin and was open just enough to draw his eyes to her barely visible but definitely ample cleavage. A skirt that matched her skin tone almost exactly hugged her perfect curves. And damn him straight to the fiery pits of Hell, shiny black stilettos nestled her petite little feet. He’d never been the type to get all hot over something as mundane as feet, but he had a feeling Stella Jo’s would be just as adorably sexy as the rest of her.
The woman was captivating on a level he’d never experienced. She was so many thing—things he didn’t deserve and would never be worthy of. Intelligent, beautiful, alluring. Mysterious at times. Guarded almost always. Which was why when she did open up to him, he lost all control of himself.