“Thanks,” I murmured, moved away and looked down at Billie. “You stay with Mitch. Billy and I are going outside for a sec.”
“Okay,” she agreed readily, skipped to Mitch immediately and grasped his hand.
I watched with utter fascination as his big, strong, attractive hand closed around her little girl’s hand without even an instant’s delay. Then my eyes lifted to his as I felt something warm slide through my insides.
His eyes caught mine and when they did they went warm like I felt inside right before he gave a gentle jerk of his head to the door, prompting me to do what I needed to do.
I nodded, tore my eyes from him, shoved the warmth resolutely aside and looked down at Billy.
“Got a second to talk, buddy?” I asked.
Billy was glaring at Mitch. He kept glaring at Mitch even as he approached me and grabbed my hand. This surprised me. He hadn’t grabbed my hand in a while. He looked away from Mitch to tug me down the ramp that led to the front door. When we were outside, I took over the lead and we went to a bench. I climbed up it so I was sitting on the back, my feet on the seat and Billy climbed up too and settled in beside me.
“Talk to me,” I encouraged gently.
“Dad’s a dick,” Billy replied.
I closed my eyes. This was true but nine year olds shouldn’t talk like this. Sure, with their friends they could be naughty but not with adults and not so casually. Billy talked like this because Bill didn’t rebuke him. In fact, Bill egged it on because he thought it was funny.
“Billy, buddy, do me a favor, don’t say that word,” I said softly.
“You know he’s one, Auntie Mara,” Billy returned and he was right.
“What did he do now?” I asked and looked at my little cousin to see his eyes were pointed angrily at the road in front of us. His jaw was set.
“He’s still got that guy comin’ over all the time and I don’t like him. He’s a creep. And I don’t like him around Billie. He’s sugar sweet to her and it freaks me out. Gives her candy. Tells her she’s pretty. It’s weird.”
Billy had been telling me about “that guy” for a while and Billy had good instincts so I figured whoever “that guy” was, he wasn’t a good guy.
Billy kept talking. “And we didn’t have any food. And he was passed out. And he didn’t have any money in the whole house so I could go get us something to eat. Billie was hungry.” His eyes turned to mine. “We have to eat.”
“Like we talked about last time, you don’t have food, you need something or you get freaked out, you call me,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, right, I’ll call you but on what phone? His cell didn’t have any charge and he hasn’t paid the bill so even if it did, it wouldn’t work. And they turned off the house phone months ago. You know that.”
Shit. I did. Damn. I knew about the house phone, though it was news about Bill’s cell.
Damn again.
“I’ll get you a cell phone,” I told him. “You can hide it and –”
He straightened, looked me right in the eye and I braced for what he was going to say next because he had that look about him that always made me brace. “Auntie Mara, Dad steals from us. You know that locket you gave Billie for her birthday last month?”
Oh no.
He read my face and nodded. “It’s gone. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be upset but it was gone like the next day. Dad convinced Billie she lost it and she cried for like an hour. She loved that thing. Said it was the prettiest thing she had.”
It was the prettiest thing she had. Bill barely kept the kids clothed. All the clothes they were wearing, including their shoes, I bought them before school started months ago. And I had noticed both of them were growing out of them.
I clenched my teeth and looked away.
“He stole it,” Billy went on, “because he’s a big dick.”
I looked back at him. “Billy –”
He suddenly and uncharacteristically lost it, slammed his fists into his knees and shouted, “He is!”
My heart started beating wildly, my eyes filled with tears I blinked away and I lifted my hand to curl it around the back of his head.
I knew how he felt. God. I knew exactly how he felt. I hadn’t felt it in a long time but if you knew that feeling, you never forgot it.
I knew that feeling. It lived in me.
I pulled him to me as I bent to him and rested our foreheads together. Shockingly, he let me do this but I figured he did because he was suddenly breathing heavy and concentrating on fighting it.
“Billy, honey,” I whispered.
“I hate him, Auntie Mara,” Billy whispered back. I heard his breath hitch and I understood the breathing heavy. He was close to tears.
“I know.” I was still whispering.
And I did know.
“I hate him,” he said quietly and passionately while his breath hitched again.
Oh God. God, God, God.
I knew what I had to do.
God!
“You know I love you?” I asked him.
His eyes slid away. He pushed against my hand at his head. I let him move away but I wrapped my arm around him anyway; slid him across the back of the bench so the side of his body was pressed against mine. Shockingly, he didn’t fight this either and leaned into me.
“I know,” he replied.
“And you know I love your sister?” I asked.
He didn’t answer. His eyes were again on the street and he just nodded.
I looked to the street and made my decision.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, honey,” I said softly on a squeeze. “But I’m going to try to figure out something. I promise you. Do you believe me?”
I looked down at him and he nodded again.
“You’re going to have to give me time, okay? In the meantime, I’m going to buy you a cell and I’m going to go to the grocery store tomorrow after work to get you guys some food. And I’m going to give you some emergency money. You’ve got to find a good hiding place for the phone and money. But if he gets it, don’t worry about it, okay? Just tell me the next time you see me and we’ll try again. Okay?”
He nodded and whispered, “Yeah, okay.”
“And Mitch is a police detective. I’m going to talk to him and see what my options are.”
Billy’s head shot up, he looked at me and for the first time in the short time he knew Mitch his eyes lit with a positive light.
“That guy’s a cop?”
I nodded. “Unh-hunh. He’ll know who I need to talk to.”
“Will he help us?” Billy asked and my heart clenched as I looked into his hopeful yet sad and defeated eyes, like he wanted desperately for me to say yes but expected me to say no. I found this odd, I found it disturbing and I also found it heart wrenching.
“That’s what he does, buddy,” I told him. “He does it for a living, helping people, protecting them, keeping them safe. He’ll help you and Billie and he’ll help me help you. I’m certain of it.”
I gave him another squeeze to allay his fears and to hide the fact that I really didn’t want to ask for Mitch’s help. But I had no choice. Billy and Billie had no one but Bill. Bill’s sister was a mess and living her own dysfunction back in Iowa. Bill’s Mom was arguably crazier and meaner than mine and she didn’t do a great job raising Bill and his sister, she’d suck at raising Billy and Billie.
It was only me. And me it was going to be.
“Can we stay with you tonight?” Billy asked.
I pulled in breath and nodded.
Apparently, I was going to need to get a different apartment, one with three bedrooms rather than two. A lot of things were going to need to change.