All thoughts flew from my head and I blinked at him, mortified. “You’ve seen me in a bikini?”
He ignored me. “So I made my play.”
“When have you seen me in a bikini?”
“And now we’re gonna make a deal.”
I blinked again and stiffened. “What deal?”
“We’re gonna go back to the place I got you this last week. You’re gonna loosen up, come out of your cocoon, for good this time, and give me a shot. And I’m gonna take that shot and use it to convince you that you are not what you think you are but instead what everyone else knows you to be.”
I yanked at my hand in his but he only held on stronger.
“Let my hand go,” I requested on a demand.
“No,” he denied. “Agree to the deal.”
I stared at him then reminded him, “You do know that you taking that shot comes with two kids, a fucked up cousin who has the Russian mob after him and whatever Mom and Lulamae dream up. They might be functional alcoholics and over the years they may have killed an alarming number of brain cells through a variety of mood-altering methods but when they’re on a tear, it can get ugly,” I paused, “or, uglier.”
“Mara, baby, open your eyes for long enough to remember I’ve been livin’ this alongside you the last week. I’m totally clued in, sweetheart, it’s you who isn’t.”
That was when it hit me.
He had been. Mitch had been living this with me the last week.
No, that wasn’t exactly true. He hadn’t only been living it with me; he’d been taking care of things for me and for the kids. I’d been too busy, too tired and too freaked out to realize the fullness of his assistance. For over a week, without Mitch, I would never have made it. I’d had a very short taste of going it alone and it exhausted me in a way I knew would seep into my bones. I’d have had to take time off. I would have had to load up a sick Billie and wake up her brother so I could go to the drugstore to get her Tylenol. In fact, I wouldn’t have even known to get her some Tylenol.
Though, I probably would have called Roberta and learned that.
Still, it would have been harder without him.
A lot harder.
Exhausting.
I stared at Mitch. He’d done all that without complaint, without looking tired, without getting pissed, without me asking. And through all that, he also took care of me, snuggling with me on the couch when I needed to zone out. Making me chili. Making me breakfast right along with the kids. Turning off my alarm so I could sleep in.
What sane man in the whole of the United States of America takes on a pathologically shy, Two Point Five woman who only owns a hammer? A woman who doesn’t know there’s a valve to switch off the water? A woman who runs away on what was, apparently, your first date and stands you him up on your second? Then suddenly she finds herself the guardian of two children and has a family that was sent to earth straight from hell because even the devil himself didn’t want to spend time with them?
“You’re a very unusual man, Detective Mitch Lawson, and I think maybe this is because you aren’t totally sane,” I blurted because the words bubbled up inside of me and forced their way out before I could hold them back.
When they did Mitch blinked then he threw his head back and laughed.
I watched him laugh thinking that was proof he was insane at the same time thinking the same thing I always thought when he laughed. And that was that he looked unbelievably good when he laughed.
When he stopped laughing, he leaned toward me and lifted our hands toward his mouth.
“Are you sayin’ we have a deal?”
“No.” I shook my head and the humor fled from his face so I hastily explained, “I play this game with you Mitch, it’s not only me playing it. Two other people are involved.”
“Remember, Mara, I know that.”
“This doesn’t work, then they –”
“I ever give you cause to think I’d fuck you over or them?”
“No, but –”
“What I have with you and what I want to have with you is exclusive to what I have with each of those kids. What they have from me is what they’ll always have from me, if they want it, whether I still have something with you or not.”
I felt my throat close and wet hit my eyes.
God, he was really a great guy.
“You like them,” I whispered.
“They’re good kids,” he replied.
“They like you,” I told him.
“I know.”
I pressed my lips together, swallowed and then pulled in a deep breath to control my tears before they spilled over and ruined my makeup.
Mitch watched this without a word.
Then he asked, “Do we have a deal?”
“You and me are against all the laws in the universe,” I explained.
“No, you and me are against all the laws in twisted, fucked up Mara World but I’m gonna straighten out Mara World so, answer me, do we have a deal?”
I bit my lip. I considered this deal. And I knew it would be me who was insane if I made it.
Then, because I was insane, I whispered, “We do if you promise me one thing.”
His hand tensed and his eyes stayed locked to mine. “What?”
I kept whispering when I said, “When you figure it out and move onto a beautiful life, don’t regret the time you wasted on me.”
He stared at me a second then closed his eyes, turned his head and brought our hands to his lips. He just rested them there and he did this for what seemed like a long time.
Then he slid my knuckles across his lips, opened his eyes and faced me.
Then he whispered back, “I promise I’ll never regret being with you, Mara.”
I nodded. “Then we have a deal.”
That was when our antipasti arrived.
We shared a three course meal. Mitch had another beer and I had two glasses of wine
During our meal Mitch didn’t let me descend into a freak out about making a stupid deal that would lead to heartbreak and, likely, me spending the rest of my days reading the works of Sylvia Plath (and the like).
Instead, I learned that Mitch had been born in Pennsylvania and his father had moved them to Colorado when he was five. I also learned Penny was his older sister and he had a younger sister named Judy who was a physical therapist at a rehabilitation center in Vail.
He further shared the scary news that he’d been engaged to his high school sweetheart who stayed his sweetheart through college. He went on to share the crazy news that he broke it off with her when he became the cop he wanted to be and he didn’t go to work for her Daddy at his bank like she wanted him to do and she started to get bitchy.
He also shared the infinitely scarier news that he moved into our complex because it had a gym and a running trail but he expected only to be there a couple of years while he saved to put down on a house. This news was infinitely scarier because he stayed there because he liked the gym, the running trail and seeing me in shorts or catching a glimpse of me next to the pool wearing a bikini in the summer.
As this knowledge threatened to break the hold he had on my freak out, Mitch deftly steered the conversation to music and movies. However, he lost his hold upon finding out I was an action movie freak then promptly declared I was the perfect woman because I had a great ass, long legs, “fantastic fuckin’ hair…and even better when it’s down”, liked baseball, “though…the Cubs…uh, baby” (this muttered on a teasing grin) and I also liked to watch things blow up.
At that, I started fidgeting in my seat, biting my lip, looking anywhere but him and trying not to hyperventilate at the same time wondering if he’d seen The A-Team. Mitch paid the bill and led me to the sidewalk.