To say we didn’t hit it off the first time we met is putting it mildly. She is a man-eating firecracker who has no problem putting men in their place, and she did exactly that with me. I would like nothing more than to repay the favor. Her reputation certainly precedes her, but I didn’t need to hear the rumors or stories to know what kind of woman Jen MacLauchlan is. She is a dainty little thing who can gobble up a man with one small smile, then cut him to the quick with a quip, which stings like a whip. You do not fuck with women like Jen, but I found it pretty damn fun getting her goat and I have no intention of backing off at today’s shoot. Am I a pest? Probably. Immature? Maybe a little, but if I can make this high-strung woman squirm, well, then I would call this shoot a success.
“Hey guys, you ready to get started?” she asks, bending down to grab her camera from her camera bag. Her ability to squat in the skin-tight jeans and knee-high boots she’s wearing is beyond my imagination, but I’m not going to complain because the view is pretty nice. Her long, blonde, wavy hair freely lands on her bare shoulder which her knit sweater is having trouble covering; also, not a bad view.
“We’ve been ready for half an hour, sweetheart. Just waitin’ on you,” I tell her as I lean against the fountain. John, our drummer, gives me a nudge hard enough to almost knock me into the water. “Dude, shush,” he whispers harshly at me.
Jen pushes the strands of hair, which have fallen into her face behind her ear, allowing me to see her honey brown eyes slide to my direction and then narrow in on my face. Oh yeah, I’ve pissed her off. She recovers quickly, trying to remain professional. “Well then, these pictures should be amazing,” she says with a tight smile as she stands to walk toward us. Her eyes are glued on me, almost challenging me to make another smartass comment.
“Okay, everyone,” Campbell interrupts, clapping her hands. “Let’s get going before the rain moves in. Jen, tell them where you want them, and boys, cooperate and get the pictures we need for the tour.”
I throw my hands in the air, surrendering to Campbell. After all, the only reason we have the opportunity at this tour is because of her. A major label hasn’t picked us up yet, but this statewide mini-tour is absolutely a step in the right direction. Our band, Absolution, has only been together for two years and the dives we’ve been playing have been, well, sad really. It wasn’t until a few months ago when Campbell came into the picture that doors began to open for us, including this tour.
“Just tell me where you want me, doll face,” our lead singer Royce announces, snaking his arm around Jen’s tiny waist. “I’m at your disposal,” he whispers suggestively in her ear. I just roll my eyes; leave it to Royce to hit on our photographer. I may want to give her a little shit to make the day interesting and pay her back for the shit she dished out to me the night I first met her, but Royce takes things to a new level. I’m not even sure he enjoys music; his primary interest is in the quantity of ass the microphone can score him.
Jen takes his arm and moves it off of her with just her index finger and thumb as though she doesn’t want to touch him, her face scrunched in disgust. “I appreciate the offer, Roy, is it?”
“Royce,” he clarifies smoothly.
“Yes, well, Roy, I have plenty of whatever you’re offering at my disposal, and I guarantee, none of those options come with a prescription for gonasyphaherpilaids. So, thanks, but for right now, all I need you to do is get your ass away from mine and by the fountain so I can photograph you.”
Royce looks back and forth between Jen and I, trying to figure out his best saving face move, eventually deciding to quietly take a seat on the edge of the fountain next to John.
“Anyone else have anything they want to say, or can I do my job now?” Jen asks, her arms squarely folded across her chest. We all shake our heads and look down like we’ve been scolded by our mothers.
“We’re sorry for being such pricks, we really are happy you’re here to do this for us,” John the peacemaker pipes up.
Jen sighs loudly, obviously annoyed with our antics. “It’s fine, let’s just get this moving along. I would imagine none of us want to have to come back for a do-over if the rain fucks with our shoot.”
Immediately she starts directly everyone where to stand and what to do. Royce is eating up every bit of the attention, while John tries to hide behind his drum set; he hates being the center of attention. Our shy bassist, Seiger, yeah, his name is Seiger, he’s one of six in his family and they all have unusual names. The best part? His mom and dad are named Rob and Sue. I don’t really have much of a family, so his family usually takes us in around the holidays and his little brother, Wolfgang, tags along with us to most of our shows. Anyways, he acts clueless most of the time, I’m surprised he realizes we are even at the park taking pictures. Don’t get me wrong, he’s the nicest guy, but man is he in his own world. Me? I feel so uncomfortable with the whole thing. I completely understand the nature of the beast and how publicity, photo shoots, and fans all get rolled into the ball of wax, which is the music machine. Really though, I would like nothing more than to write and play music without all the rest of it. I don’t need the famous status, like Royce; I don’t care about my name being splashed everywhere and all the girls it can get me. All I want is enough money to keep doing what I love. And in terms of girls, of course I’m a guy who likes a little play now and then, but I’d be happy with one awesome girl and a family of my own.
“I think we have it, boys,” Jen announces after what feels like hours of posing and pretending to play my guitar. Thank God. As we start to put our instruments away, the clouds open up and the rain begins to pound down on us. I quickly scramble to put my guitar in its case. I might kill someone if it gets ruined. For a long time it was the only thing of value I owned. When I turned eighteen and left my grandmother’s it was the only thing I had with me. I don’t care if I have a million dollars, it will always be the guitar, which means the most to me.
I catch Jen continuing to take pictures of us, ignoring the rain pelting her delicate skin. Her hair is beginning to stick to her head, all waves now turning into a dripping mess. Her mascara she obviously spent an immense amount of time applying to perfection is now running down her face. I take a look around at the images she is attempting to freeze in time, and I’m impressed. The guys have secured their instruments and are drenched, splashing in the fountain. The pictures she’s taking now will no doubt be the ones, which will end up on our publicity flyers. After all the shit I attempted to throw at her throughout the shoot, now I feel like a bit of a dick for making the day rough on her. Here she is sticking it out in the rain to make our dumbasses look like rock gods. I should be thanking her, not giving her grief.
I try to hang back and enjoy the moment until Jen officially finishes by putting her camera in her camera bag. Then I lunge for her, lifting her into the air, and throwing her into the fountain. John follows my lead and grabs Campbell to do the same.
Campbell comes up laughing, wiping her ebony hair from her face. “Jen is going to give you a lobotomy with her tripod, Casen. You are aware of that, right?” she giggles. Well, shit. So much for lightening the mood and having some fun after a tense day.
“You asshole!” Jen gargles as she shoots to the water’s surface. “Do you have any idea how much these boots cost? They are ruined!” Queen bitch on wheels has returned and I’m back on the radar.
Great, just when I think I could maybe play around with princess sparkplug, I step into a massive pile of flaming dog shit. “Sorry, Jen, really. I just thought we could have a little fun. I don’t think we got off on the right foot and I was trying to remove some of the tension. My bad,” I tell her, holding out my hand to help her out of the fountain. Apparently, my schmuck status has now reached an all-time high.