0.3.4
As to what it contains at the beginning by way of disrespectful comments directed against persons named by the author, I would have preferred that those names “had not been mentioned,”18 but the author imposed the condition on me — before printing went ahead — that I should leave nothing out of the book, and he has imposed the same on all his readers, a fact to which he alludes in the Proem when he says, “[Beware lest you]… think of using it in abbreviated form.” I decided therefore that the small amount of condemnation that might result from making those names explicit was no reason — when measured against the many benefits that would accrue from the book as a whole — to stop its promotion and acceptance.
0.3.5
Here then, Reader, is a novel and unprecedented treasure for you, a precious gift to be treated with care. Scrutinize it closely when reading it and give it your undivided attention, so that its veiled meanings may appear, its enigmatic constructions become clear, and do not treat it as you would any other well-known work, for it is an innovation singular beyond compare.
0.3.6
Finally, we apologize to you for certain mistakes that occurred during printing, most of which are limited to the vowelling of little known words and are, anyway, very few. Nor do they occur in all the copies printed, as we managed to catch and correct some. Few books on the oddities of language are completely without such errors and we hope you will be gracious enough to match them against the table of corrigenda and correct them with your pens; the author confesses his shortcomings, confession erases commission, and none is perfect but God alone, from whom we ask forgiveness and aid.
Praise Be to God Almighty PROEM
0.4.1
This book of mine to the sophisticate will be sophisticated
And smooth-tongued, while to the foolish it will be foolish.
I have set down in it words and lexical items to bejewel it
And filled it with dots that shine19 and letters,
With natural style, humor, and purity of intent
As well as with license, temperance, and abstinence.
Like a body, it has more than one member. Those that are concealed
May earn your passion, those that are in plain sight your praise.
I have tailored it, but to fit my own way of thinking, for
The measure of yours is to me unknown.
0.4.2
I beat a path for it with the hooves of my thoughts
To make it wide enough for the words and forced it to be hollowed out.
I pieced it together and cobbled it up by hand. Say then,
“What a well-pieced-together and cobbled-up book it is!”
I emptied into it every sort of ink that might make it appealing
And for it I sharpened thousands of pens.
One might almost say that with my very hands I shaped it, down to the last detail,
So that it came out tightly constructed and compactly built.
I composed it on a night black as pitch
Which is why it emerged so filled with animus and darkling allusion.
0.4.3
Outdoing the best of cooks, I seasoned it for you with pulicaria
Plants, for these will dispel the bad breath of fasting from your mouths20
And set right whatever misfortunes may afflict you and whatever
Sets your teeth on edge; after which you’ll be ready to gobble up the pellicle of a date stone.
It will allow you to dispense with doctors’ lies and their fees—
Nor on its account will you have to face a struggle to feed your children.
From the clayey ground of its lines has sprouted
A meadow, and gardens excelling in luxuriance.
From them will come to you the scent of statuesque girls,21
Ruddy-colored, whose beauty charms the comely youth.
0.4.4
At her side you will see tall plump girls
And well-endowed ones, white and tall, and tall smooth women
While behind them and to their fore are smooth girls whose flesh wobbles
And fair women, ever proud.
And should there emerge before you from among its letters
Heavy-haunched women, fat and ready to be bedded, then propose
marriage to a girl whose saliva is sweet and vagina dry.
Should you lack what it takes to do so and excuse
Yourself from this obligation, you will find, hot on their tails, slim-bellied lasses;
So choose, God guide you, what you desire
And be not lazy in pursuing and realizing cunsummation.22
0.4.5
Other describers of such things have made their categorizations,
But did not do so well,
For what they said was trite and not one
Among them studied minutely what was to be described.
My book, however, or I myself, have done the opposite:
We save the enquirer the task of delimiting and defining.
We have no blemish, though you will not find
Any like us in our art nor any co-worker.
For this art is an orphan to find whose brother is impossible,
And it is unique, so be well disposed toward it.
0.4.6
To me and to the author of the Qāmūs must go the credit
Since it is from his fathomless sea that my words have been scooped.
Unlike a woman, my head was pregnant with it
For a year, and the whole year was a season of storms.
But it took only three months to be born
And quickly it learned to crawl and grew into a delightful youth.
I could not tell if my head gave birth to it feet first or blew it out of its nose or
Spat it out or dumped it there at the latrine.
I suffered over it in groans, may the Lord protect
You, suffering such as cannot be measured haphazardly
And cut its umbilical cord to suit only the people of discernment
To whose name alone it is dedicated.
0.4.7
It had no wet nurse other than
My thoughts, and even so I thought it too well suckled.
From days of old, my soul had craved it, like a pregnant woman, and
Its longing could not be distracted
And I sweated with pleasure just before it was born,
So much so that when I ejaculated the book, I was left drained.
I fathered two sons for myself, not for you, O Reader, then this one
Which is for you — a third, not for me, so lend it your ears.
My behest to my two true sons is that they should emulate
Its style and make a ritual circuit around its covers
So that they make keep it safe from burning, should any
Grow hot with anger against it, because of its spiciness.
I wash my hands of the doings of both, should they turn aside
From it and take an ally against it.
0.4.8
Any who longs to find it will be granted success,
Or if not and he loses his way and is stricken,
At night he will hear a burbling sound coming from it
That will sweeten his slumber with its unceasing gurgling—
And how many a shining light will appear if
You find yourself faced with it on a gloomy day!
How many a one large of belly has given up on it in dudgeon!
How many a murderous killer recoils from it, now weak!
To him like elusive mercury it seems and he cannot
Grasp any of the wool on its nape.