3.2.23
Riches and poverty have no bearing on the matter. A rich man is as likely to become infatuated with a poor woman as he is with a rich one. Indeed, a rich miser prefers to fall in love with a poor woman because he believes he can make her happy with only a little money. Also, as a rule, people prefer to fall in love with members of strange races so as to find out about the exotic things they imagine are peculiar to them, unless an ignorance of their language makes this impossible; when this is the case, the scope for the imagination is cramped. It is also true that men like women’s gentleness and sprightliness, especially in bed, while women like men for their young sappiness and tall, youthful strappiness. No woman can look at a man of such a description and not say in her heart, “There’s everything I need! There are riches enough for me!” The ancient Arabs recognized this fact when they derived ṭawl (“might”) from ṭūl (“height”). At the same time, however, women, for the most part, glean their pleasure from every crop and sip from its sources both sweet and sour. Such women are like the bee that gathers its nectar from the flower though the latter is on a dung heap. As to jealousy, it is an inborn trait natural to every human, providing he has good taste: a man is jealous of his material possessions being violated by another; how much more so will he be then in the case of his supposedly inviolable wife? The claim that the Franks feel no jealousy with regard to their women has no truth to it whatsoever. A Frank has been known to kill his wife and himself together on learning that she has been unfaithful. True, they give them so much free rein in many matters that Orientals might regard them as pimping them, but this contains at the same time its own protection against betrayal, for it is a given among them that should a man forbid his wife to leave the house or keep company with other men, he will prod her into taking a second lover, which he would not if he were to consent to her indulging in such pleasures outside the home.
3.2.24
When it came out that the two honey-seekers25 (the Fāriyāq and the girl) were meeting in contravention of accepted custom, her mother felt the serpent’s tooth of filial ingratitude and consulted some of her friends on the matter. These told her, “We cannot agree to such a marriage because he is a Bag-man, while you belong to the most august house among the Market-men, and never the twain shall meet.” She responded, “He isn’t of Bag-man stock, but rather an interloper among them.” “It makes no difference,” they said, “for the stench of the bag is upon him and fills our nostrils,” and they gave her dire warnings against him, even though in the preceding chapter I had issued warnings to them and their like against such meddling. When the girl learned what they had said, the spirit of rebellion rose within her and she declared, “Such differences are no concern of women. They are the concern of those who would use them as a path to a career and high status. The goal of marriage is the mutual satisfaction and agreement of a man and a woman. If you refuse this marriage, I warn you I shall have nothing more to do with Market-men.” At this, her mother thought it best to take her away from that place in the hope that distance would make her forget. All the tempests of love then arose in both honey-gatherer and honey-giver, in keeping with the words of Abū Nuwās, “Reproach me not, for reproach is a spur.”26 When the mother saw that no amount of haranguing would keep the girl from the hive, no hatchet work hinder her extracting honey,(1) she went back to her house, summoned the Fāriyāq, and said to him, “I have discovered that the Market-men are opposed to having you as an in-law, so if your mind’s set on marrying my daughter, you must become a Market-man, if only for a day.” “That’s fine,” said the Fāriyāq, and with that understanding he became a Market-man for the day of his wedding, and both she and the girl were happy.
3.2.25
At night, the instruments were brought, the cups sent around, and a good time was had by all, the Fāriyāq applying himself so devotedly to ensuring the regular passage of the cup and to praising the players with repeated calls of “Ah!” and “Ay!” and “Ooh!” that both his hand and tongue tired and, seeing that the company was determined to spend the entire night till morning drinking, he stole out and climbed to the roof to take a rest, it being a moonlit summer night. When he was slow to return, the others thought he must have slipped the knot, so they began searching for him as one searches for a woman with large breasts, or one who so hates her husband she’d curse him with her last breaths. When they found him, and realized that he had different things in mind than they did, they left him and his bride alone in a room and made to depart — but “No!” said the mother. “Will you not wait to see the bloody proof(1) with your own eyes?” The reason for this is that it is the general custom among Egyptians for a man to marry a woman without first keeping her company or finding out about her character; he just gives her a single look as she hands him a cup of coffee or a glass of sherbet in the presence of her mother. If she pleases him, he asks for her hand from her relatives; if not, he stops visiting them. Some of them marry without having ever seen their wives. This happens when a man sends his mother, or an elderly female relative or acquaintance, or a priest to her and these describe her to him according to their own taste and experience. Usually the girl’s mother bribes the priest to give a good description of her daughter and so make the man want to marry her. Some will marry a woman who resides in some distant town, writing to one of his acquaintances in that area to ask him to send him a description in a letter, after which he asks God for guidance and inserts his head into the noose. Despite this, such couples live happy lives. In the Levant, the city people do as the Egyptians, but the people of the Mountain have a different custom. There the man can see the woman and find out about her character. This being the case, and because the Fāriyāq had contravened the custom of Egypt by meeting with the girl on numerous occasions both in the presence and absence of her mother, the mother wanted to distance her from any shame by displaying the sign of her virginity, so that report of her daughter’s innocence might be broadcast throughout the land.
3.2.26
Most people have nothing better to do than talk, and a band of these, once they had brought the bride and groom together, gathered behind the door, one or another of them keeping up a chant of “Open the door, bolt-holder!” The Fāriyāq thought that the person doing this wanted to come in to them and teach him how the thing should be done, so he opened the door to him, at which the other told him, “That’s not the door I had in mind. I meant ‘the door of relief.’” The Fāriyāq went back to his bride, but heard another saying, “Enter the dome, enterer!” and another, “Widen the wound, lancer!” and someone else, “Quench the thirsty one, quencher!” and another, “Away with the down, wool-carder!” and someone else, “Empty the bucket, water-drawer!”, “Tread on fast, slippery-foot!”, “Fill the milk-skin, skin-filler!”, “Swizzle the swizzle stick in the kohl-pot, swizzler!”, “Dive into the deep sea, diver!”, “Crack the egg, egg-cracker!”, “Polish the toothpick, polisher!”, “Climb atop the wall, warrior!” and “Break in the filly, horseman!”, and they kept this up until he had got it all the way in and handed her mother the bloody proof. At this their faces broke into smiles of joy and delight, hands clapped in pleasure and happy expectation, tongues proclaimed her innocence, and they ended it all with congratulation. Then they left, like raiders returning laden with riches, while the mother, at this manifest victory,27 grew another six inches.