Caleb pulled a cigarette and a match from his pocket, shaking his head. “This isn’t over.”
“You’re damn right it isn’t.”
“You got a plan?”
Ruby opened her mouth but closed it when she realized she didn’t have any clue what to do now. “I’m not the one with the bat-shit insane plans.”
“Aye.” Caleb lit the match against the heel of his boot and raised it to his cigarette. “That’s Roman’s job. We’re just the naive idiots who follow him.”
“Do you regret it? Following him, I mean.”
“Nah. Roman was right about one thing: this was never about the money.” Caleb took his first puff. He sighed deeply. “I spent most of life chasing money, that’s what I regret. Roman might be an asshole some of the time — most of the time, actually — but he’s got something the rest of this city doesn’t have much of. Something I’m jealous of, if I’m honest.”
“And what’s that?”
“Passion.”
Ruby nodded. “He’s certainly got that. Although, for better or worse?”
Caleb paused to consider, then shrugged. “I still haven’t worked that out.”
Sparks woke up, hands and feet bound, mouth gagged, slung over the shoulder of a bulky militia who reeked of blood and sweat — or maybe that was Sparks.
Panic choked him. He immediately thrashed and squirmed, trying to spit out his gag. The militia tightened his grip around Sparks’ waist. Sparks noticed the militia behind him, holding a baton. A moment later that baton cracked across Sparks jaw.
He stopped struggling, head throbbing. It felt like his second heart was stuck inside his skull. He noticed the blood dripping down from his side, and his leg, and his shoulder. A moment later, the pain properly kicked in. He bit at the cloth in his mouth, stifling a dozen curses. Was there any part of him left that didn’t feel like it had been ripped open and had razorblades shoved inside?
I attacked Juliette, in the middle of all her men, Sparks remembered with a groan. Why the hell did I do that? Am I insane? Obviously, he must have been. He didn’t owe Caleb anything. Not really. Why had he felt it so important to protect him? Totally. Fucking. Insane.
He had even failed to kill Juliette. He swivelled his head as far as he could, searching for her. No sign. Well, he wasn’t dead, yet — that meant he technically hadn’t lost yet either. Once he escaped, he was going to track her down and rip her head off that scrawny neck.
Once I escape… yeah, ‘cause it’s totally going to be that easy.
But Candle had escaped the wind farms. That meant Sparks could too. They would take him to the wind farms, and once his hands weren’t bound he was going to kill everyone who tried to stop him leaving. They would learn how dangerous the best pit fighter could be.
But then he noticed something was wrong. They weren’t taking him towards the wind farms.
They were marching back into the city. Straight towards Reformation Square.
35
Roman sat on the edge of the roof, his legs hanging in empty space. Below, the cracks in the road made it look like a giant cobweb was stretched out over the city. Roman imagined himself a fly caught in that web. Trapped. Waiting for the city to eat him.
He looked at his hands and saw they were shaking. He steadied his breath and loosened his shoulders, trying to relax. It didn’t help. In his mind, he saw Juliette raising the bow and shooting Tan, over and over. How could he let this happen? He should never have gotten involved in any of this. It wasn’t worth Tan’s life.
At least Ruby was safe. Roman managed a half-hearted smile of relief. An hour ago, saving Ruby was all that mattered. But now she was back and somehow he could barely bring himself to feel happy about it. Instead, he felt guilty.
If I thought I had to sacrifice Tan to save Ruby. Would I have done it? He knew the answer. He would have. He would have killed half this cursed city if it meant saving Ruby, even sacrificing his friend on the way. Not that I could protect her. She saved herself, then saved me, again. I’m useless. No wonder she’s mad at me.
He thought about heading back inside to apologize to her, for everything. That would have been the right thing to do. But he couldn’t bring himself to face her. Whatever had happened to her at the Haven, it had hurt her, and it was Roman’s fault.
He dropped his face into his hands, digging his nails into his forehead. He was sick of surviving while everyone else died. First Stevens. Then Harry. Now Tan. They were gone, and for what? Stevens’ death was meaningless, killed by an Adrenalite for no reason. Then Harry and Tan died because they followed Roman in his quest for justice, or maybe it was for revenge — Roman wasn’t sure anymore.
He had always told himself he was doing what was right for Legacy, that he was protecting people from the rogues. But that wasn’t true, was it? Truth be told, he didn’t give a damn about the people of Legacy. He despised them. This really was about revenge against the Adrenalites, the monsters.
But was Sparks a monster? He had saved Roman’s life today, just as he had saved Roman when they caught Burrstone. Even after Roman had, he admitted to himself shamefully, treated the boy like shit.
The boy was a better person then Roman was. And now Juliette had him. The boy deserved better. I owe him my life. Can I really let this happen to him?
He heard the door to the roof open behind him. He didn’t turn around as footsteps approached. Soft, careful footsteps.
“I’m sorry, Ruby,” Roman muttered, still not turning. “I didn’t mean for… any of this.”
She sat down beside him. “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Not after what happened.”
“Yes, you should have. I deserved it. I don’t know why I expected anything different.”
“Because you’re a stubborn fool.”
“Yeah. I am.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I think Tan would have wanted it this way.”
Roman turned to her, puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that…” she paused, choosing her words carefully, “I think he was always afraid you would be killed first, and he’d have to live without you. He would have wanted to be the first to die.”
“Then he was an idiot.”
“Of course he was. We all knew that,” Ruby said. “But he always believed that you saved his life when you hired him.”
“You remember what he was like back then. Wasn’t much of a life to save.”
Ruby nodded. “You gave him a reason to live again.”
“Hunting Adrenalites.” Roman snorted. “Doesn’t feel like a good reason anymore.”
“It was more than he had.”
Roman didn’t have an answer to that.
“Listen, Roman…” Ruby began slowly. “I’ve never been good at mincing my words. So I’m going to be honest with you.”
This is it. This is where she finally leaves me.
Ruby laid a hand on his shoulder. “Do you remember that night, after you punched Sparks, when I told you that it wasn’t really him that you were mad at?”
Roman nodded.
“You thought I meant that you were angry at the Adrenalite who killed Stevens, didn’t you?”
Roman nodded again.
“You’re such an idiot. I meant that you were angry at yourself. You always have been. But you focus that hate on the Adrenalites. That’s why you thought you hated Sparks.”