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The greatest peasant leader in the world

And the most prominent proletarian revolutionary in the third world.

He drew nine red lines beneath each of those two rows of text. Those nine lines were like the thick red dragon he had described, dazzling and eye-catching. He stared at those two rows of text and the red dragon for a while, then knelt down and kowtowed to them, and to his own portrait. Next, he turned around and gazed at the portrait of his adoptive father, and lit him three sticks of incense. Finally he left the Hall of Devotion.

In the quiet night outside, he could hear the sound of a car in the distance. That low rumble sounded somewhat familiar, almost like the sound of his own car. Maybe Secretary Shi had received the news that he had returned and was coming to see him. Needless to say, at least his secretary, when he saw him, would address him as “County Chief Liu.”

Chief Liu emerged from his Hall of Devotion and turned off the light. His black sedan was in fact parked in front of his house, and it was in fact Secretary Shi who had come to see him. From the time he was appointed as county chief and had designated Secretary Shi to be his secretary, the secretary had always addressed him as “County Chief Liu,” and surely he would again now.

And, in fact, Secretary Shi had not stopped calling him “County Chief.”

Further Reading:

1) Pace by pace. DIAL. This refers to the act of stretching time out, and means to calculate everything to the fullest; it has nothing to do with taking actual steps.

3) Utterly wronged. DIAL. This refers to the act of completely missing out on an opportunity, and thus feeling wronged.

CHAPTER 3: CHIEF LIU, CHIEF LIU, MAY I BOW TO YOU?

“I’m sorry, Chief Liu. I’ve wronged you, Chief Liu.”

“Fuck your grandmother! I’ll cut off your head! I’ll shoot you! But even beheading or shooting you wouldn’t be enough to relieve my fury.”

“Chief Liu, Chief Liu, I’ve really wronged you, Chief Liu.”

“Bow down, everyone bow down to me!”

“Don’t blame him, don’t blame Secretary Shi. Blame me for everything!”

“Get out! You lewd woman, you sow, you bitch, you weasel!”

“Chief Liu, don’t beat her. Beat me instead. Look, her face is covered in blood. If you keep beating her, you’ll kill her. Everything is my fault, it’s all Secretary Shi’s fault.”

“Are you telling me not to beat her, and to beat you instead? Did you really think I was going to let you go?”

“Ah, ah, ahya.. .

“I’ve already fired you. After you’ve done your time in prison, I’ll arrange for you to return home to work the fields.”

“Beat me, Chief Liu! You are welcome to kick me to death, stomp me flat, or tread me to a pulp.”

“I’ll fuck eight generations of your ancestors, that’s what I’ll do. But for now I’ll have the Public Security Bureau send you to prison. With one word, I can exterminate your entire family. I can drag your name through the mud, reducing you to the status of a rat in the street. I can make it difficult for you to even walk in Shuanghuai. I can make it such that there won’t even be anywhere in Shuanghuai where you can go beg for food.”

“I’m begging you, please don’t beat him. Look, he’s already lost consciousness. Old Liu, Chief Liu, I’m begging you to beat me instead.”

“Fuck your grandmother. Tell me the truth: When you leave the house, everyone recognizes you as the county chief’s wife, and addresses you as the first lady. Do you know that?”

“I know that. But I don’t want to be a first lady. I just want to be someone’s ordinary wife. When I get off work, I want to cook dinner and mop the floors, and while my husband sits on the couch reading the paper, I want to be working in the kitchen. When I bring the food to the table, he’ll put down his paper and we will eat together. After we have eaten, I’ll sit on the couch reading the paper while he goes to the kitchen to wash the dishes. After he has finished, the two of us will sit on the couch watching TV and chatting, and eventually we will go to bed together.”

“Chief Liu, you must complete us. If you don’t forgive us, we’ll keep kneeling here before you all night long.”

“Water? Water? Fuck your mother! Doesn’t this house even have a drop of water?”

“We don’t have any drinking water ready.. . I’ll go boil you some now.”

“Fuck your grandmother! I never expected, when I appointed you to be my secretary, that you would turn around and stab me in the heart. Even my failure to purchase Lenin’s corpse did not hurt me as much as you have.”

“I’ve wronged you, Chief Liu. I’ve really wronged you.”

“Okay, okay. Even if you kowtow to me until your forehead bleeds, I still won’t forgive you.”

“I’m not asking you to forgive me. One should pay for one’s crimes.”

“Please have some water.. . It’s still hot, though, so let it cool off first.”

“Do we have any tea?”

“Do you want green tea or red tea?”

“I don’t fucking care.”

“Okay, I’ll fix you some green tea. I have some right here.”

“Stand up. Tell me what you’re going to do about this.”

“Chief Liu, if you don’t offer your forgiveness, then I won’t stand up even if my life depends on it.”

“Then just kneel there, and tell me what you are going to do.”

“I beg Chief Liu to complete us.. .

“Complete us, because if you don’t we’ll die right here kneeling in front of you.”

“Tell me how you want me to complete you.”

“Let us get married. I’ve caused you to lose face in Shuanghuai, so afterward you are welcome to have us transferred somewhere else.”

“Chief Liu, we won’t forget your benevolence and generosity. I’ve been your secretary for many years, so no one knows better than I what you want. If you complete us, I’ll have everyone in the entire county bow down to you. I know that you weren’t successful in purchasing Lenin’s corpse. Even so, I’ll have the entire county bow down to you. I’ll have everyone in the entire county bow down to you whenever they see you. If you don’t believe me, give it a try. Starting tomorrow, I’ll have everyone on the street bow down to you whenever they see you. I’ll have everyone in the new and old city hang your portrait in the main hall of their house. Is that okay?”

“Huh?. . Do you think that you are a celestial being? I’m telling you, even God himself doesn’t have the ability to do that.”

“Chief Liu, I can do what I propose.”

“Get out! Both of you, get out! Get out of my sight!”

……

“You didn’t return for half a year, so I thought. . that I would stay overnight to speak with you.”

“Needless to say, you can have whatever you want in this house.”

“I don’t want anything. The only thing I’ll take is my father’s portrait.”

“You can take it. You can take anything you want.”

“Okay, then. We’ll be leaving now.”

“Go. Hurry up and leave. I don’t want to see either of you again.”