He was waiting for me at the door.
‘Tell me!’ I exploded.
He took his time before replying, in the most careless tone:
‘I arrived, I went in, I pretended to look for someone, I went round all the rooms and then I came out again.’
‘Did you undress?’
‘No.’
‘Did you see anything?’
‘Yes, lots.’
‘Tell me, may God shatter you into pieces!’
He said nothing. His mouth did not express the slightest smile, the slightest grin. But his eyes sparkled with satisfaction and malice. I was crestfallen. I wanted to beat him black and blue.
‘Do you want me to beg you, to press my forehead against your slippers?’
The Ferret was not in the slightest impressed by my sarcasm.
‘Even if you beg me, even if you prostrate yourself at my feet I shall tell you nothing. I have taken risks which you refused to take. If you want to know what goes on when the women are there you must come with me next time.’
I was aghast.
‘So you’re thinking of going again?’
This seemed so obvious to him that he did not even deign to reply.
The next day I was in position, and I saw him go in. He had improved his get-up considerably. He was not satisfied with wrapping himself in a thick black robe, but he had a white scarf around his neck which covered his hair, a part of his forehead and his cheeks, with its ends tied together under his chin. Above this was a transparent white veil. The disguise was so perfect that I would have been taken in a second time.
When I met up with him again he seemed bothered. I asked him to tell me about his escapade, but he refused to do so, in spite of my insistence and my pleas. He remained obdurately silent, and I soon forgot the whole thing. However, it was Harun himself who would remind me of it, many years later and in a way which would remain for ever in my memory.
Towards the end of that year my uncle came back from his travels. When they learned of his return the Andalusians of Fez came in groups, one after the other, to hear what he had to say and to inform themselves of the results of his mission. He told them in detail of his sea voyage, his fear of shipwreck and pirates, the sight of Constantinople, the palace of the Grand Turk, the janissaries, his travels in the lands of the Orient, in Syria, Iraq, Persia, Armenia and Tartary.
However, he soon came to the most important part.
‘Everywhere my hosts declared themselves convinced that one day soon the Castilians will be beaten, by the leave of the Most High, that Andalus will become Muslim once more, and that each one of us will be able to return to his home.’
He did not know when, or under what circumstances, he admitted, but he could testify to the invincible power of the Turks, of the terror which the sight of their vast armies would strike in the heart of every man. He was convinced of their profound concern for the fate of Granada, and their desire to deliver it from the unbelievers.
Of all those present, I was not the least enthusiastic. When we were alone together that evening, I insisted on asking my uncle:
‘When do you think we shall return?’
He seemed not to understand what I wanted to say.
I told myself that he must be weary after his journey.
‘To Granada, isn’t that what you were talking about?’
He looked at me for a long time, as if sizing me up, before saying, in a slow and emphatic voice:
‘Hasan, my son, you are now in your twelfth year and I must speak to you as if I were speaking to a man (he hesitated a moment further). Hear me well. What I have seen in the Orient is that the Grand Sophy of Persia is preparing to wage war against the Turks, who are themselves primarily preoccupied with their own conflict with Venice. As for Egypt, she has just received a consignment of corn from the Castilians as a token of friendship and alliance. That is the reality. Perhaps, in several years’ time, things will have changed, but, today, none of the Muslim sovereigns whom I have met seemed to me to be concerned with the fate of the Granadans, whether of ourselves, the exiles, or the poor Strangers.’
In my eyes there was less disappointment than surprise.
‘You will ask me,’ Khali continued, ‘why I should have told those people who were here the opposite of the truth. You see, Hasan, all those men still have, hung up on their walls, the key to their houses in Granada. Every day they look at it, and looking at it they sigh and pray. Every day their joys, their habits and a certain pride come back to their memory, and these things they will never rediscover in exile. The only reason for their existence is the thought that soon, thanks to the Great Sultan or to Providence, they will find their house once again, with the colour of its stones, the smell of its garden, the water of its fountain, all intact, unaltered, just as it has been in their dreams. They live like this, they will die like this, and their sons will do so after them. Perhaps one day it may be necessary for someone to dare to teach them to look unflinchingly at their defeat, to explain to them that in order to get on one’s feet again one must first admit that one is down on the ground. Perhaps someone will have to tell them the truth one day. But I myself do not have the courage to do so.’
The Year of the Raging Lions
906 A.H.
28 July 1500 — 16 July 1501
My sister Mariam had grown up without my being aware of it. Two long separations had turned her into a stranger. We no longer shared the same roof, or the same games. When I crossed her path our words had lost their old complicity, and our glances no longer said anything to each other. It was only when she called out to me from the back of a mule that year that I came to see her again, gaze at her and remember the little girl whom I used to love and fight until she wept.
It happened in early summer in an olive grove on the road to Meknes. My father had decided that I should accompany him, together with Warda and Mariam, on a tour of the countryside behind Fez. He was still looking for suitable land to rent. His plan was that with the assistance of some Andalusian agriculturalists whom he knew he would introduce various crops which were little known and poorly cultivated on African soil, notably the white mulberry, the food of the silkworm.
In the most minute detail, he told me about a huge enterprise in which one of the richest men in Fez would take part. Listening to him I had the impression that he had somehow emerged from the despondency and world-weariness which had afflicted him after he left Granada behind, a terrible wrench which had been made worse by the loss of one of his wives after the other. Now he was scheming, challenging, his fists ready to fight, his eyes once more alight with purpose.
For the journey, he and I were on horseback and the women on mules, which meant that we had to go at their pace. At one point, Warda came alongside Muhammad. I dropped back level with Mariam. She slowed down imperceptibly. Our parents drew further away.
‘Hasan!’
I had not addressed a word to her since we left Fez four hours earlier. I gave her a glance which meant at most ‘Is your animal being a nuisance?’ But she had taken off her light sand-coloured veil, and a sad smile covered her pale face.
‘Your uncle cherishes you as if you were his own son, doesn’t he?’
The question seemed pointless and out of place. I agreed brusquely, not wanting to discuss my relations with my mother’s family with Warda’s daughter. But that was not her purpose.
‘When I have children, will you love them as he loves you?’
‘Of course,’ I said.
But my ‘Of course’ was too quick, too gruff. And embarrassed.