My stomach roils at the mere thought of the fight that I know will ensue.
“Someone’s getting laid!” Lia sings out from the door as she wraps her arm around Peyton’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. You can sleep in my room since Cammie’s going to be staying with Jack.” Peyton elbows Lia in the ribs and they share a laugh.
I guess while I was talking to Bryan they made up from earlier. That makes me feel a little better for not going with Peyton tonight. I know I don’t owe her anything, but I feel like I’m letting her down by not going.
Pulling their heavy winter jackets out from the front closet, Lia laughs at the bat tucked into the corner. “Not such a bad idea after all, huh, Mel.” She sticks her tongue out at me and laughs once more.
“Very funny!” I quip back at her.
Checking her phone, Cammie begins pushing everyone out the door. “Come on. Jack is downstairs waiting, and I don’t know about you ladies, but it is freaking cold as fuck out there and I’m not walking.” She hugs me on her way out and adds in a flirty tone, “Have a good night, Mel.” Before she closes the door, she winks at me and I can’t stifle the laughter that escapes my past my lips.
After a few seconds, the genuine laughs morph into ones of nervousness as I look at my watch and realize Bryan should be here any minute.
That sickening rolling I felt in my stomach yesterday when Mom was here returns, but this time, I can’t swallow it back. A nervous, panicking anxiety pulsates in my chest as I realize that I’m going to have to tell him about the cheating. A cold sweat breaks out on my brow and I race to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
I feel marginally lighter, purged in some way. In a moment of clarity – or deception, depending on how you look at it - I’ve decided that I’m not going to say anything about his text. If I don’t confront him about what he did, then I won’t have to confess to him about what I did. And, if I can just hold on to this feeling until Bryan leaves, maybe I won’t have to tell him, after all.
6
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Past
“Omigod omigod omigod!” I’m flapping my arms in front of my like a rabid chicken – that is if chickens even get rabies.
“Will you just calm down, Mel. Everything will be fine,” Maddy dismisses my little panic attack.
Sure! Everything will be fine! No big deal!
It’s every day that you go to your hot boyfriend’s soccer game and then go to a party with all of his friends, who you’ve never met before.
Oh and did I mention that his parents would be there too? Yeah, like that’s going to calm my anxiety.
I know it shouldn’t be a big deal. I finally caved, and since we started dating, I’ve gone to a few of his games. It’s just that most of them have been during the week so I haven’t had to deal with the after party. And meeting his parents, yeah, that is definitely what has me all sorts of screwy right now.
Maddy holds a turquoise, off-the-shoulder peasant top in front of her. “Wear this one. It will make your hair and your eyes pop.”
Standing in front of the mirror and draping the pretty shirt this-way and that-way across my body, I scrunch my face and then toss it on the bed.
“Okay.” She stretches out the word to emphasize her frustration with helping me get ready. “What about this purple one? This one is my favorite.”
Pulling the purple shirt over my head, I play with the hem to make sure that it sits in just the right spot – hiding the curve of my waist, while still flattering the rest of my shape. I flop down onto my bed as I slide my black ballet flats on my feet. Sliding one leg under my body, I turn toward Maddy and sigh rather dramatically.
“What if they hate me? I mean, I’ve never done this – met a guy’s parents before. What if I make an ass out of myself?” My shaking voice reflects my nervousness.
“Well, then,” Maddy says as she pulls me up from the bed, and hands me my sunglasses and black bomber jacket, “at least you’ll look like a pretty ass.” She laughs and I can’t help but chuckle with her.
“But seriously, Mel. You’ve been with Bryan for what, like a month now. He’s obviously into you, otherwise you wouldn’t be meeting his parents at all. I’m sure they’ll like you.” Maddy’s words boost my confidence a little.
Standing in front of the mirror, I take stock of the girl reflected back to me. Usually I’m the one trying to convince Maddy to play Barbie. But today, my hands were shaking with such extreme anxiety that I couldn’t even do my own make-up. Silently nodding my approval, I have to say that Maddy didn’t do such a bad job. My hair looks wildly tame – a perfect combination of auburn curls, softly brushed and smoothed so I don’t look like Annie. Normally, I go for soft pink or peach on my eyes, but Maddy opts for a pale-green eye shadow and an eggplant liner, which, even though it’s something I never would have chosen, really do highlight my soft blue eyes.
Adjusting the hem of my deep-purple shirt once more, and skimming my hands down the top of my dark-wash jeans, I ask “Are you sure this looks okay?”
Holding my shoulders tightly in her hands and squeezing gently, she says, “Melanie, you look beautiful. But, more importantly, you are beautiful. Bryan is not going to care what clothes you wear. Hell, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’d rather you weren’t wearing any clothes at all.” Maddy giggles suggestively as she wiggles her eyebrows at me.
“Maddy!” I gasp and slap her playfully on the arm. “You really think that?” I add in a more curious tone.
“Think what, Mel?”
Instinctively, I reach for a strand of hair and twirl it around my finger. It’s a nervous habit. “Do you really think he thinks I’m pretty, I mean?” My voice is suddenly shy and timid.
“Of course I do, Melanie.” Her soft green eyes are wide, but serious. Smiling brightly at me, she adds, “And I also think that he likes you because you’re funny and smart and kind and fun to be around. Now go to his game and have some fun. Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
“I would love for you to go, but since it’s some kind of special Parent’s Weekend or something like that, he was only given two tickets. He actually had to bum one off of his teammate to get me in.” I shrug my shoulders trying to make it seem like no big deal that Maddy can’t go with me, but the reality is that I wish I had some kind of support. But instead, I reassure Maddy. “I’ll be okay. Like you said, they’ll love me.” I pucker my lips playfully and pop my hip in some kind of fashionista meets drag queen stance.
“Oh my God! Whatever you do, don’t do that. Like ever again!” Maddy laughs hysterically at my antics before pulling me into a tight hug. “But seriously, Mel. You’ll be great. Just be yourself. I mean, you’re my favorite person, after all.” She smiles and winks at me and it’s impossible not to smile back at my best friend.
As I walk down the hallway, I hear Maddy say, “Have fun!” in a rather cheery, sing-song voice.
Uh huh, fun. Sure. Meeting my boyfriend’s parents for the first time while he’s all hot and sweaty playing in his final soccer game – sure, that sounds like a ton of fun.
The dorm is not all that far from the soccer field. But everything in Ithaca is uphill. You know that old saying about “when I was a kid, I walked to school uphill both ways?” Well, I’m pretty sure that originated in Ithaca.
As I approach the entrance, I hand the ticket collector my ticket and walk through the gate. Bryan told me to sit in section ten, and that his mom would be wearing his jersey with the number 17 on the front. While part of my brain actually considers sitting anywhere but section ten, the other part tells me to just put on my big-girl panties and do the right thing.