At my softly spoken words, he relaxes and starts talking. “You’re not pushing me, Melanie. I guess I’m just a little protective, that’s all.”
That last piece of information doesn’t surprise me at all. It’s one of the things I love about him.
Do I love him?
No. It’s too soon.
At least I think it’s too soon. I’ve never been here before. Maybe it is love.
Refocusing my attention back to Bryan, I say, “Well, then she’s very lucky to have such an amazing big brother.” I pause briefly to gently squeeze his hand once more as I wait for his response. “I don’t have any siblings so I’d love to learn about yours. Tell me more about her, please.”
His lips pull up at the corners and I catch a glimpse of his white teeth through his small smile. He obviously adores her, and suddenly, I am dying to know everything about this little girl who clearly has a very special spot in his heart.
“Her name is Emerson, but we call her Emmie. She’s the happiest little girl I’ve ever known.” His face is glowing with love for his little sister. It’s cute, really. I’ve always wanted a sibling. Even though I’ll always consider Maddy my sister, there’s a part of me that really missed having someone else around when I was younger.
“So why didn’t she come with your parents? Did she have an event for school or something like that and couldn’t make the flight? I would have loved to meet her.” Come to think of it, the handful of times I’ve been in his dorm, I didn’t see a picture of her anywhere. Do guys even put up pictures of their family? Either way, it’s weird that he obviously loves her very much, but there isn’t a trace of her anywhere in his daily life. I try not to be upset that he hasn’t said anything about her to me so far. I mean, we’ve only been together for a month so it’s not like we know every single little detail about each other. Distracted by my own thoughts, I forget that I’ve even asked him a question. His words bring my attention, quite abruptly, back to the conversation.
“She has Downs Syndrome,” he blurts out and I’m a bit surprised. Not that she has Downs, but because his words are very abrupt and out of the blue. But suddenly, I know why he’s so protective, why he doesn’t talk about her much. Though, judging by the way his eyes are shining and his voice is wobbling, I can tell that his not talking about her isn’t out of shame. It’s out of his need to keep her protected.
My brows furrow together in concern and disbelief. “Why do you think that will matter to me? There’s no need to keep me from knowing that.” I only hope that my words help him understand how I feel. Even if she wasn’t his sister, she’s just a little girl, but I know all too well, having been the ‘heavy kid’ growing up, just how hurtful kids can be.
“She cared,” Bryan’s barely whispered words break though my painful memories of being made fun of when I was younger.
“Who?”
He sighs and scrubs his hand over his face. “Courtney cared.”
I feel like I’ve just been punched in the gut. I thought there was no way I could hate her even more than I already do, but I was definitely wrong.
“What … I mean … I don’t get it. What did she say?” I know I sound like an idiot, but I can’t wrap my head around how she could have made an issue about this.
Are people really that shallow?
The waitress chooses this moment to walk over and hand us our bill, essentially halting the conversation. And then just as soon as the waitress walks away, Bella comes to our table.
Ripping the bill in half, she says, “No paying tonight. It’s a special night.” She winks over at me on that last line and I adore her even more than I already did. Bryan needed some recognition tonight and I’m glad she, and hopefully I, was able to give it to him. “Besides,” she adds almost shyly, “I might need you to come back this week. The webpage thingy that you set up for me is, ummm, how do you say …”
Bryan chuckles at her silliness and finishes her sentence. “Is it crashing, Bella?”
“Yeah, that’s it. Crashing. Can you come by this week to fix it?” she asks hopefully.
Bryan stands from his chair, kisses her on the cheek and says, “Sure thing. I’ll be back on Monday.” Extending his hand to me, he helps me out of my chair and wraps his arm around my shoulder.
Bella walks us to the door and tells us to have a good night. When we get outside, the cool autumn air breezes around us and a shiver creeps across my skin. Draping his jacket over my shoulders, Bryan says, “I’ll tell you all about Emmie and Courtney on the way to the party, okay?”
I nod, not because I have nothing to say, but because I have so much to say that I don’t want to scare him away.
After he closes my door, I watch him walk to his side and slide into his seat. Playing around with the knobs on the heater and the radio, I can tell that he’s just avoiding the conversation. So I place my hand on top of his, and cup his cheek with my other hand. I don’t say anything, but when I lean forward and skim my lips across his, he knows what I’m trying to say.
Grazing his knuckles across my cheek, he looks into my eyes so deeply that I think he might see straight through me.
Part of me knows that he already does.
When his lips collide with mine, well, I think we might just melt together as one. I’m in a complete state of bliss. His hand in my hair, his lips tentatively skimming mine at first, his tongue dancing wildly in my mouth – it all makes my pulse skitter, my heart race, my body tingle. It’s a kiss filled with need, and dare I say, love.
It’s too soon for that. So, no, I don’t say it, but I know that my kiss conveys it. His sure as hell does.
Breathless and wide-eyed, we pull away from each other. He looks like I feel, and it’s nice to know that I have the same effect on him that he has on me. But, getting me all hot and bothered isn’t going to get him out of having to talk.
After another minute of staring at me blankly, I prompt him to finally start talking. “You can kiss me like that again, but you’re still going to have to talk. So why don’t you talk now and we’ll kiss all you want later.” I wink and arch a playful eyebrow at him to which his only response is a loud chuckle. At least, he seems a bit more at ease now that he’s kissed the life out of me.
Lord knows if we didn’t have somewhere to be, there would have been a lot more than kissing going on!
Settling back in his seat, he turns down the radio and stares out into the dark evening sky spreading before us. “Courtney and I were together last year for a few months. I liked her enough to stay with her, but it wasn’t love. Definitely not love. I didn’t think she was horrible or anything, so I stayed with her to see how things would turn out,” he huffs sarcastically at that thought. I move closer to him, well, as close as my seat will allow me, and hold his hand. He starts running his thumb over my knuckles as he continues talking.
He rolls his eyes. “I was so fucking wrong though. Courtney saw a picture of Emmie in my room and well, let’s just say, her reaction showed her true colors. She tried to cover it up, but her face was all twisted in, what I call, her ‘gross’ face. Courtney never said anything to me about it, but I overheard her at some party trashing Emmie to her friend Tori, who is just as evil as Courtney by the way.” He takes a deep breath and resumes tracing his fingers over my knuckles. When he manages to calm down, I can see his face relax and his eyes soften.
The heat in the car is overwhelming, suddenly. I feel like I can’t breathe. Memories flood my brain of being taunted on the playground, of hearing the mean words follow me everywhere I went. I don’t even know Emmie, but my heart hurts for her. I wish I could hug her and tell her the world isn’t as mean as it seems.