“Baby, look at me,” I plead with him as he tries to avert eye contact. But when his eyes meet mine, I can tell why. Unshed tears shine and shimmer. He’s trying to be strong, trying to hold it together, but he shouldn’t have to. For some reason, it’s easier for me to allow someone else to be weak. My own weakness, however, is a completely different story.
I nuzzle into his solid chest and squeeze him tighter, if that’s even possible. When his hands wrap around my shoulders and his chin rests on the top of my head, I feel him exhale a shaky breath. “I just can’t believe him. I mean, my mom takes care of Emmie full time. He’s walking out on her and leaving her with nothing. He thinks paying for half of the medical bills and the mortgage is enough. Fucking prick.” I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything. I let him pull comfort from my touch and trace lazy patterns across his back.
After a few minutes in uncomfortable silence, he says, “It’s okay. I mean, I’m okay.” His voice is uneven and it’s apparent that he’s pushing down his pain; he’s clearly not okay. My voice has sounded the same all too often.
“Bryan, it’s okay to be angry. You don’t have to hide how you’re feeling from me. Please talk to me.”
Maybe I should learn how to follow my own advice.
I pull back from him and gaze into his eyes once more. There’s so much pain and anger etched on his beautiful face. From the moment I met Bryan, that’s what I thought of him – that he was beautiful. High cheekbones and a chiseled jawline provide a perfectly masculine structure to the rest of his face. But right now, his beauty is eclipsed by pain, and I want nothing more than to take it away from him.
As he runs his fingers through my hair, I feel some of the tension in his body ebb away. A few deep, cleansing breaths later and he begins opening up. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you over break. I didn’t mean to put so much distance between us.” He looks down at me and softly grazes his knuckles over my freckled cheek.
“I understand that now,” I say as I capture his hand in mine and bring it to my lips. Kissing the pads of each of his fingertips, I hear his breath hitch in his throat. His eyes widen; his pupils dilate. “Let’s forget about that for now. There’s no distance tonight. I think I have something that will help us forget about all of that.” I skim my teeth over the pad of his thumb and then lightly trace over it with my tongue, soothing my little love bite.
His full, soft lips curve into a lazy grin as he traces the pad of his just-bitten thumb over my plump bottom lip. “What exactly did you have in mind, Melanie?” He arches an eyebrow at me and I return the gesture.
“Well, there would be some of this,” I say, as I run my hands up under his t-shirt. I can feel his abs tighten and flex under the light touch of my hands. Raising my hands up higher, over his finely sculpted pecs, I feel goose bumps begin to dot his flesh. Sure, we’ve been together before, but we’ve only had sex a handful of times. And having been away from each other this past month, it feels like I’m experiencing his body for the first time all over again.
“I think I’m liking this little plan of yours, Melanie. Care to show me the rest of it in your room?” The pain and anguish that were in his voice earlier are now replaced by lust and desire.
I stand before him as he unfolds himself from the couch. Bryan’s not extremely tall – somewhere right around six feet, but he easily towers over my less-than-average five-foot-five frame.
He swats my butt as we walk toward my room. I leer over my shoulder and give him the “are you kidding me” face. Bryan just shrugs his shoulders and says, “What? I love your ass and I missed it.”
I arch an eyebrow at him. “Missed it? Well, that’s nearly impossible. My butt is way too big to ever miss.”
He slaps it again and narrows his eyes. “Cut it out. You know I don’t like when you talk like that.” On one last swat, he adds, “Now get movin’.” I just roll my eyes and drop the topic. He hates when I can’t accept a compliment and I try my hardest to keep my self-deprecation to a minimum, but in moments of nervousness, like this, deflecting is the easiest way to keep my insecurities at bay.
And tonight isn’t about me. It’s about taking his mind off the shit-storm at home. It’s about reconnecting with him, if even for only a few hours. If only for tonight, I’d like to enjoy his touch once last time. It’s shitty of me, to want him without telling him the truth, but I can’t add to his pain.
When we get into my room, he closes the door behind him and clicks the lock. “We wouldn’t want Lia barging in here on us again, would we?”
“That might have been the most embarrassing moment of my life!” I laugh softly, but my body heats as I recall exactly what we were doing when Lia walked in on us.
“Yours? You were all covered up.” He points at me as he begins walking closer. Tapping his finger on his bottom lip, he says, “If I recall correctly, she got a spectacular view of my ass.”
A playful eyebrow arches up on my face. “Oh, but what a fine ass it is.” He laughs softly, but his demeanor changes as he takes another step toward me. He’s suddenly stalking me like a wolf hunts its prey. My blood runs like molten lava through my veins. My feet are glued to the spot, and it takes conscious effort to inhale an unsteady and lust filled breath.
When Bryan runs his fingertips down my arms, touching the miles of exposed flesh that my lacey camisole affords, I actually shudder with delight.
Dropping his lips down into the crook of my neck, his fingers continue on their lazy exploration up and down my arms and across the creamy flesh above my breasts. His hot breath bathes over me. “You have the most beautiful skin ever.” He nips at my neck and then soothes it over with his tongue forcing me to shudder once again. All I can manage in response is a lazy “hmmm.”
My chest rises and falls between us and he pulls down the straps of my tank top to reveal the upper curve of my breasts, which are threatening to spill out of my pink lacy bra. Bryan’s finger dips into my cleavage and he then traces up around each curve. Instinctively, I move to cover myself, but all I actually do is force my chest up more.
Bryan lowers my arms back down to my sides and snickers at me. “Oh no you don’t. It’s been way too long since I’ve seen you.” He presses his lips to mine and kisses me with more passion, more ferocity than ever before. It’s like he’s trying to climb inside of me. It’s so intense that I have to pull back from him to catch my breath.
“Are you sure you’re okay? We don’t have to do this. We can just talk, you know.” I have to admit that part of me is saying this out of genuine concern for him, but for the most part, I’m saying it out of guilt.
Lucky for me, he doesn’t sense my guilt. Instead, he just laughs – a soft, sexy-as-sin chuckle. “Why on earth would I want to talk when the alternative is getting lost in my beautiful girlfriend’s body for the next few hours?” His words are mumbled against my neck and they make my nipples tighten and pucker against my bra.
He makes a good point.
Two actually.
And tonight, I’d like to get lost as well. I don’t want to think about the horrible thing I’ve done to him – hell, I don’t even want to think about the horrible thing I’m doing to him now, by not telling him.
So rather than confess my secrets, and break his heart even more, I run my hands up the back of his shirt and drag my nails lightly across the valleys and curves of his long, lean muscles. Reaching for the hem of my shirt, he pulls it over my head and unsnaps my bra allowing my breasts to spill free.