Jed waves his hand in front of my face and I blink, stopping my rambling of thoughts.
“Them too, but we brought Paige in to save money.” I watch him place the inks down and get the gun ready to cover up a mistake I should have never gotten.
“You really tapping it?”
“No.”
“So, she’s fair game?” He places his black gloves on, snapping them at the wrist.
“No.”
He arches an eyebrow to me. “Then I suggest you claim her quick. Girls like that don’t last on the open market.” The gun buzzes and I straighten my arm as he brings the silver vibration to me.
“She isn’t some cow ready to be taken to the highest bidder.” A devilish smirk crosses his lips.
“Like I said, don’t take too long.” I’m not a moron. I understand what he thinks he sees, and his advice, but I don’t need his damn opinion on how fucked up I am.
“Quit being my therapist and give me the damn tattoo.”
He chuckles loudly and then a mask of concentration encompasses his face. He focuses on my arm, precise as always on my permanent ink.
Jed is seconds from being done by the time Paige returns and gently props herself up on the bench. “Where have you been?” I ask her and try not to pry at the folded piece of paper she’s hiding in her hand.
“Just looking,” she sing-songs while concentrating on Jed’s movements across my arm. “A dove. How very hopeful of you.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Just that maybe you’ll make peace faster than you think.” Jed pauses a moment, going back for more ink, and then slyly widens his eyes in my direction.
“Doesn’t mean things would change.” I have to squeeze her out of my senses, why won’t she just allow me to keep her at arm’s length? Rage begins to brew that she won’t accept that my tainted past haunts me too much to focus on my present.
“All done man.” Jed takes a cloth and wipes down the dove that now sits on the edge of the guitar on my arm. “It’s a damn good cover job if you ask me.” He wraps up my arm in the gauze and then I jump down.
“That’s why I only allow you to scar my precious skin.” I chuckle and slap his back. When I spin around, Paige is perched where I sat and she hands Jed a piece of paper.
“The girl outside said you should be able to squeeze me in.”
“She did, did she?” He peruses the piece of paper and then peers back up to her. “Where you want it?”
She scoots off the bench and begins unbuttoning her pants.
“Whoa!” I step in front of her, my hand stopping hers. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Getting a tattoo. Excuse me.” She sidesteps me and starts to slide the zipper down.
“Paige,” I warn, earning me a glare like no other.
“I’m fairly sure you don’t rule my decisions.”
“If you want this done, I’ll get Violet, but the hell if you’re going to drop your pants in front of Jed.” I block any view of her to Jed who’s humorously laughing behind me.
“You said Jed is the best.” She peers over my shoulder. “I’m sure you’ve had a lot of girls get it in discrete places?” she asks, and I don’t turn around to see the smile I know is splashed across Jed’s face.
“Not a girl Rob wants, but yeah.” I flip around and he’s crossing his arms over his chest enjoying the show we’re giving him.
“Shut the fuck up,” I yell at him and then focus back on Paige. “Don’t do this. I’ll pay for your tattoo if you allow Violet to do it.”
“Why can’t Jed do it?” She purposely leaves her pants open and sticks her hands in her back pockets. I reach down to button them back up.
“Just don’t.” I wish I could scream that I want her to be mine. I wish she could be my one and only, but I’ve come too close before and it all came crashing down in front of me. I’m not ready to post a vacant sign on top of my heart in this moment, but the thought of her with someone else feels like acid going down my throat.
She seethes through her teeth. “I’m growing tired of this, Rob.” She reaches down and zips up her pants. Thank God. “Thanks, Jed.” She tosses over her shoulder and disappears through the curtain.
“Come back without asshole and I’ll do it for you,” Jed calls out and I turn around shooting him a death glare along with the finger.
“Fuck off, Jed.”
By the time I pay for my tattoo and get back to my car outside, Paige is nowhere to be found. As my eyes scan the surroundings, I find her resting along the brick wall, her head in her hands.
I slowly approach, careful not to alarm her. When I lean over her, blocking the streetlight from shining down on her angelic face, I watch her shoulders deflate. “Paige,” I sigh, but a she only stands up and passes me.
The streets are crawling with a few college students loitering in the streets probably hoping to get a tat tonight. None of them seem overly concerned about us.
“You’re an asshole.” She shoves me in the chest with both of her hands and I fly backward until I can catch my footing.
“I know.” Why even fight her on it?
“Why?” Her voice raises.
“Let’s just go home.” I’m surprised how even my voice sounds. She has no idea how much I want to dig my heart out, throw it in her hands and beg her to accept it. But, it’s too scary, too terrifying to trust another person.
“No.” She steadily trudges down the street, away from me and my heart clenches watching her go.
“Paige.” I jog a few steps and lightly grasp her elbow.
She flips around and throws her arm out of my grip. “Don’t touch me.”
Anger pours from her eyes and I back step from her, unsure of how to handle this.
“Listen, alright?”
She crosses her arms across her chest, her eyes fixed on mine. Why is she even listening to me? Why does she give a shit about an asshole like me that will grab her heart and crush it without thinking of the consequences?
“Well?” She impatiently shifts her feet and my story catches in my throat, afraid that she’ll trample me on her way out the door.
“There was . . .” I clear my throat and I see her stance loosen slightly, noticing how tense I’ve instantly become. I scan the streets and she does the same. “An accident.” I finish the words that I’ve learned from therapy to say without a tremble in my voice.
“Okay.”
I take a deep breath and divert my gaze away from her eyes that reveal all her built up feelings that I’ve selfishly focused on the last few months. The same passion I have for her that’s making me tell her my worst moment. “My girlfriend—”
I turn away from her, unable to see her icy eyes after I tell her. “Shit,” I mumble and her hands land on my shoulders and her body presses against my back. God, her warmth is like a blanket over my heart. A necessity that I’ve gone without for too long.
“It’s okay; you don’t have to tell me anymore.” My eyes close relishing her arms moving down to wrap around my waist.
My hands instinctively cover hers and she squeezes my body into her smaller frame. I imagine her cheek on my back, listening to my rapid heartbeat. She may misconstrue that the fast pace is from fear of my secret, but it’s her that makes my pulse quicken.
Turning around in her arms, my hands cradle her cheeks. “You’re so damn gorgeous. You’re caring, your heart is so big, you’re amazing, but you’re also everything I shouldn’t take.”
“Take me,” she demands, and without thinking twice this time, my lips crash to hers, my tongue diving into her mouth. Unable to restrain myself from taking what I’ve wanted for the past few months. She releases a moan into my mouth and I back step us to the brick wall, pressing her against it. “Take me home,” she whispers as my lips cascade down her neck. When I don’t move she grabs my face with her hands, turning it up to her. “I’m not asking, Rob, I’m telling you. If you want me, take me home.” The smoldering lust pouring out of her eyes is enough to convince me to take this step with her.