She peeks up at me, resting her chin on her hand splayed across my heart. If she only knew how it felt, like she contained the power to magically piece it back together. “You really are beautiful.” Her hazel eyes light up at my compliment and she tilts her head into my palm.
“Thank you.”
I grab the last ounce of strength before I wimp out. “We’d been dating for two years and planned to attend Western together in the fall. The Mill River basketball team had just beaten our nemesis and everyone from our school was on a high. Carly was messing around, unbuckling herself, she kept leaning over the center console, kissing my neck, and grabbing my dick. I continued to fight her as I weaved around roads I knew like the back of my hand. There wasn’t a curve, or bend I didn’t expect.” I release a breath and her arms tighten around me again.
“She wouldn’t accept no and unzipped my jeans. I figured she was going to jerk me off, but then she leaned down and took me in her mouth.” I allow that to sink in before continuing.
When Paige doesn’t react, I figure I might as well just let her have it all. “Without going into too much detail, I got distracted and must have closed my eyes because suddenly headlights were shining right into our window. I swerved and over corrected the car, making us skid off the road and right through a fence.” Paige takes a deep breath and tries to cover up a gasp. “By the time the car stopped, I had gripped Carly’s head so tight into my stomach she was slapping me to let her go. Startled, my hands flew off her and sprung up. The two of us just stared right ahead at a tree five feet in front of us.” My heartbeat picks up and Paige nuzzles into my neck, and her hand remains right above my heart. Thank God for her patience in letting me get this out in pieces.
I swallow and flex my fists open that must have reflexively closed. “At first I forgot about the other car, more worried about Carly and if she was okay. Then it clicked and I threw open my door and fell to my knees. The other car’s front end was . . . completely smashed. They must have over-corrected like I did and instead of a tree, they hit a power line pole. I screamed for Carly to call 911 and ran across the dark road. When I reached the dark sedan, I lost all breath and almost collapsed.” Paige’s head rises up and she stares into my eyes with confusion. “It was Carly’s dad slumped over the steering wheel with blood dripping out of his mouth.”
“Oh, Rob.” Her hand leaves my heart and she kindly brushes it against my head like my mother used to do when I was little and had gotten hurt.
Disregarding her calm demeanor because what else can she say, I killed a man. “I opened the door and felt his wrist but he had no pulse. Right as I went to feel his back for breathing, I heard Carly’s footsteps on the pavement and I whipped around to stop her.” Carly’s screams are still real in my head. Blood curdling roars burst out of her when she recognized the car. “He was dead. I had killed him.”
Unable to sit still any further, I gently remove Paige’s naked body off of me and swing my feet over the bed, burying my head in my hands. The mattress dips when she rushes over to me, placing her head on my back as her arms squeeze around my middle.
“I can barely piece together the two months after that. At first I was going to jail for reckless driving that turned manslaughter, then I was off because Carly’s dad had alcohol in his system, until finally my lawyer came in and said the family wasn’t pursuing any charges. From the second her family ran into the Emergency Room that night, Carly was gone. She couldn’t face me, couldn’t talk to me, and eventually she hopped on a plane to California.”
“And you came to Western?” she whispers.
“Yeah, I haven’t seen her since the court hearing. She wrote me an email when she left. She said, she couldn’t stick around knowing we caused her father’s death. That she could never look at me the same way, and love wasn’t enough for us anymore.” My eyes well up, but I tighten my eyelids to keep them back.
“It wasn’t your fault.” She’s so sweet, telling me what everyone else assures me of, but that doesn’t change my guilt. My constant replay of the events and how I could have done something—anything—different.
“I should have been firmer. I could have slowed down, pulled over.”
“You were young.”
“That doesn’t remove my guilt.”
“I suppose it wouldn’t.”
I turn around and stare directly in her eyes. “I’ve been through years of therapy. I’ve tried to forget the guilt and abandonment feeling Carly left me with. I’ve faced it a zillion times. I don’t want to give you false hope, Paige. This is the first time I want to heal and be real, but I’m positive I’ll fuck this up.” Her palms stay planted on my cheeks and I love the fact she still looks at me like a rock star—her rock star.
“What do you need from me?” The question is so simple, yet so complicated.
“I need patience.”
“You have it.” She relaxes against me, crossing her legs. “I have my own problems, Rob. So, all I ask is the same from you.” She tosses a look at me over her shoulder and I inch closer, wrapping my arms around her.
“New ground for both of us then?” She never rushed me, so I’m not about to rush her to reveal anything she’s not ready to.
“Yeah.” She seems a little distant and I wonder what haunts her. “Maybe we should keep this between us for a while.”
I’m thrown back by her request. I was going to suggest it myself, but didn’t want to come off like I wanted to hide her from anyone.
“Sure.” I shrug, showing indifference.
I WIGGLE OUT of Rob’s hold, and slide from his bed. He’s so peaceful with that just fucked hair that I had in fistfuls most of the night. I had a sense he’d be good in bed, but he exceeded my imagination. Even his demanding talk spurred arousal out of me. I move across the room thief-style, snatching my clothes from the floor.
Once I reach the door, I allow myself one last glimpse of him. My heart constricts thinking of the horror he’s experienced. Inching the door open, I peer down the hall and scurry to my room.
Relieved that I snuck out of his room without being seen, I plop down on my bed, reliving the flashback scenes of Rob and I last night. Never in my wildest dreams would I think he’d be so attentive and caring. The sweet kisses and the gentle caressing. None of it jives with his outlandish personality of evil. It’s like he’s an angel trapped in Satan’s body. For some reason I’ve been the chosen one to heal him. I have to admit; I’m slowly becoming addicted to freeing the angelic creature from the depths of the dark tunnel.
After my shower, I grab my messenger bag, and glance at my phone. Shit, only twenty minutes until class. My body fights my light jog down the steps, exiting through the kitchen. My chucks screech on the linoleum floor when I spot Chrissy at the kitchen table. “What’s up?” I break our distance fast, taking the seat next to her.
She picks up her head and her anguish isn’t missed from her bloodshot eyes and trembling lip. “The weekend was horrible, just horrible.” Her head thumps on the table and she lays there.
“What happened?” I wrap my arm around her shoulders, glancing at the clock on the microwave to see I’m down to fifteen minutes before my class starts.
“We got married,” she mumbles through the pile of hair covering her face.
“That’s great.” I tuck her blonde strands behind her ear and a small smile graces her lips.