“Yes, I’ll have one year left.”
“Greg, it’s only a boyfriend. He isn’t asking for her hand.” Len chimes in, knocking him with his shoulder.
Greg nods. “That’s true. Break her heart and then we have a problem, got it?”
“Got it.”
“Then let’s have some fun. Relax, have fun. We’re easy going.” He raises his drink in the air and I follow doing an air clink.
“Paige,” Hank calls out to her and my head instantly spins, my eyes roaming up her body. When I reach her eyes, I see they’re glossy.
She quietly slips into the seat next to me and I move my hand on her thigh. Her hand covers mind and she squeezes.
While the guys ramble orders to the waiter, I lean in. “You okay?”
She nods and I can tell she’s containing her emotions.
We share a smile and then her dad grabs her attention.
“Paige, you still like goat cheese?”
“Yeah, Dad,” she whispers, and her dad orders her something special.
She inhales a deep breath. “Ask me again.”
I tilt my head. “What? If you’re okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m perfect.” That small smile widens and seals my heart.
She’s captured me and I don’t want to be thrown back.
“DINNER WAS GREAT, Dad. Thank you.” My eyes veer over to Rob, waiting by the elevators for me. Once we finished dinner, we came back to the hotel and my dad carted me aside after paying for our room.
“You’re welcome, sweetheart. So, he’s the real deal?” His eyes focus on mine, never shifting to Rob.
I shrug my shoulders. “I like him, Dad.”
He’s never been the typical you’re not going to sleep with anyone until you’re thirty, or let me meet your prom date and clean my rifle type of dad. I didn’t even go to my prom. I was supposed to, but my dad came into town the night before to toss a few condoms on my bed. When he didn’t stay, my mom fell into her depression and my prom night was spent at Granger Memorial Hospital.
“Is that all?” His one eye rises at me and I’m not sure where his leave my princess alone act is erupting from.
“Dad.” I shoo him again. It’s uncomfortable talking about my boyfriend.
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes. “I get it; you don’t want to talk to your old man about love.” He opens his arms for me to step into. “Just be careful, sweetie,” he whispers in my ear and I grip him harder, committing his smell to memory again.
“I will. Will I see you tomorrow morning?” I ask, knowing the answer before he speaks.
“No, I leave early. You two sleep in, enjoy some room service.” He steps back holding my upper arms. “You still have those condoms?”
I laugh and he smiles. “It’s covered, Dad,” I confirm just to ease his mind. Sometimes I swear he grabs buy one get one deals of condoms. When I first started college, he actually shipped them to me. I’d run down to the mail center eager that I received a package. When I’d open it up, it was filled with condoms. No need for the Health Department, just come on down to Paige’s room.
“I love you, Paige. Bring the boy over when I get back from tour.” He gives me one more hug and kisses me on my cheek.
I’m not sad and don’t feel abandoned by my dad. It’s been this way between us my whole life. Instead I smile as he stops in front of Rob and shakes his hand. A warm loving sensation comes over me watching him whispering something to Rob, portraying that I’ll protect my daughter stance.
I’m confident my dad loves me; I’ve never doubted that. At the same time I resent him for continuing to live the life he wanted without really sacrificing anything for me. Over the years, I’ve accepted it. He was tricked into having a kid, and he accepted it gracefully. It’s not his fault that the woman who tricked him is beyond fucked up.
My dad disappears through the elevator doors and Rob kicks off the wall, briskly walking to me. Not stopping until I’m in his arms, he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck. “Can I please have you now?”
His voice is pained as though I’ve been stripped naked in front of him, holding him at arm’s length. It only surges electricity through my veins listening to his tortured tone.
I flick the key from my back pocket and hold it up in the air. “Take me upstairs and find out.”
He snatches the card from my hand and presses his palm on the small of my back, gesturing for us to go up to the elevators.
After the elevator ride, we find our room. Rob scans the keycard and opens the door for me to enter first. I’ve stayed here before, the night of The Raptures concert when they got inducted. It’s nice and plush, just like the numerous hotels my dad’s brought me to.
“Holy fuck,” Rob blurts behind me and the door shuts. His eyes ping across the king-size bed wrapped in a fluffy comforter and pillows. The drapes are open, casting the view of Cleveland and the Cuyahoga River. I plop down on one of the sofas and slip off my heels.
“My feet are killing me.” I rest one up on the edge of the couch and gently rub my toes.
“Are the heels worth it?” He sits down next to me on the edge of the seat as though he’s worried he’ll crinkle the fabric or something.
“Relax.”
He sits back, swinging my legs across his lap. “This room is nice, really nice.” His eyes survey every surface. “Don’t get me wrong, my parents do well, but not this well.”
His hands knead into my arch and my head falls back into the pillow. “It was always odd. Coming home after a trip with my dad. Going from this to a two-bedroom apartment with second-hand furniture.”
“It must have been like Cinderella being knocked back down to peasant.” His hands continue to manipulate my feet in the best way.
“Yeah. I guess I just got used to it. My dad used to get on my mom about the living conditions, even bought her a house once.”
“That’s nice.”
“Made the mistake of putting it in her name. It was sold within a month.” That’s when she was using. I think she secretly hoped my dad bought it for all of us, like we would be a family.
“God, Paige. I’m sorry. You had such a crappy childhood.”
I shrug my shoulders. “My time is up with her, but there’s Matty to consider. I’m not sure how much longer I can trust her with him.” I wiggle as his thumbs dig deep into my tissue.
“Neither of his parents seems very fit. At least you had your dad.”
“Yeah, but I can’t take care of Matty right now. I don’t have the money or the stability.” I have three years before my trust fund is released, but I’m not about to reveal that to Rob yet. Of course, he may very well assume I have one. I guess how could he not? But still, the pit of my stomach churns from keeping a secret.
“I’ll help you figure something out. If you really want to take him, I’ll help.” My eyes must bug out because he chuckles.
“He’s a pretty awesome kid,” he remarks, his fingers inching up past my ankles. His hands weave between my legs, parting them to make space for him.
His eyes flick to desire, never leaving mine, while his fingers unbuckle my pants and he tugs the zipper down at crazy slow pace. A lump forms in my throat, holding back the tears from his transparent eyes, revealing another emotion today. There’s want in them, but it’s laced with tenderness, too.
There’s a silent agreement like his bedroom this afternoon. Although part of me wishes he’d come out with it, fear is too great of a deterrent. That those three words that float around us on this plush couch in this elaborate décor room, could crush us.