“What?” He turns around.
“Were you ever jealous of me and Jessa? Our friendship, I mean?” I ask him Kailey’s concern from earlier.
“Are you shittin’ me? Of course.” He laughs, making it unclear if that’s a good thing or bad. “You guys are pretty tight, but in the end, I’m happy she has you. You give her things I can’t.”
“But you give her what she wants and needs,” I add, because I honestly never felt anything for Jessa other than friendship. I temporarily distract her from her problems with Jack and partying, whereas, Grant heals her. That’s the difference between a best friend and boyfriend, at least when it comes to me and Jess.
“Hey, man,” he clasps his hand on my shoulder, “she’ll get used it. Once she’s around you two more, she’ll see it’s nothing more than friendship.” Grant smiles over at me, and then we make our way down the hall.
I say good night to him with a fist bump in the middle of the hall, and he disappears into Jessa’s room. Jealously overtakes me, since Kailey’s not waiting in my bed for me. So, instead of going to curl up in an empty bed, I make my way downstairs to the basement, where I last spotted a bottle of Jack.
Pouring the dark liquid into the shot glass, I toss it down my throat, loving the burn that it leaves behind. I thumb through my phone, looking at the pictures I’ve taken since we’ve been in Colorado. Brady and Sadie, Grant and Jessa, me and Jessa, Dex and Grant, but then I stop and inhale a big breath on a picture of one person. My eyes search every spec of Kailey’s face. I snapped the photo the other night when we were giving our silliest faces. Her green eyes are crossed and her tongue is sticking out. I smile remembering that moment where I peeled off another layer of her. It was the night we played the popcorn game, asking what our favorites were. Needless to say, it was all I could do to conceal my excitement when she told me her favorite sexual position. And with that thought, I need another shot. Screw the glass, this time I pour the shot directly into my mouth.
How the fuck did I let myself get so consumed by someone, someone I barely know for that matter? Especially after Zoey. I swore to myself after her, I was done with that happily ever after fairyland shit. Tipping the bottle back for another swig, I remember when she broke it off. The fact she changed my whole world with two words, ‘I’m out’. Who the hell ends a relationship without any sort of explanation? A damn text at that. The thing that scares me the most is, I thought Zoey ruined me, but after a few days this whole thing with Kailey has me more torn up than when I was a girl-crazed boy in high school.
I guess I always knew it wasn’t really Zoey leaving that devastated me, it was the decision I was forced to make a month prior, which turned me into the non-committal ass I’ve become. The one and only free agent Kailey was hoping to use on her trip. Yep, time for another swig. Wiping my mouth with my sleeve, I flip to the picture with the capability to warm my heart and wrench my stomach all at the same time. Shit, I need to numb myself more, so this time I let the liquid continue to stream down my throat until the pain and guilt vanishes for the few short hours.
I curl my knees up to my chest, shivering, my face glued to the couch. I peel my mouth away from the leather, wiping the drool as I sit up. Shit, it’s cold in this state. Staring at the practically empty bottle of Jack sitting on the coffee table, regret hits me. I’ll be useless for the rest of today. That is, until I can drown myself into another bottle tonight.
After I stand up, I attempt to steady myself by holding my arms out, like a toddler on a balance beam, willing the room stop swirling. “He’s down here,” Dex screams up the stairs.
“Shit, quiet the fuck down,” I tell him, and he laughs boisterously. Jackass!
“What the hell, man? We’ve been searching all over for you,” he says, plopping himself on the couch.
“Well, you found me,” I say, sitting back down, grateful for the excuse not to move for the time being.
“You got to get it together. We’re going to that party at Sam’s tonight. Screw Kailey, there’ll be plenty of girls begging to have your dick tonight.” Dex’s attempt to pull me from this funk, only reminds me of who Kailey thinks I am.
“Shut the hell up, Hulk.” Brady smacks Dex across the back of his head. He tosses me a bottle of water and sits on the other side of me.
“Just because you and Grant have gone all in, doesn’t mean the rest of us want one pussy for the rest of our lives,” Dex adds with humor in his voice.
“Grow up,” Brady says and picks up the nearly empty bottle in front of him. “If this,” he waves it in the air, “and fucking a different pussy every chance you get is being single, then I’m more than happy where my dick lands every night,” he finishes, setting the bottle back down.
“Save us the whole commitment is the best speech,” Dex banters back.
Brady stares Dex down in annoyance while all the back and forth makes my headache a little more intense.
“If she has you doing this, she must be worth it.” Brady cocks an eyebrow at me, and I stare back at him, already recognizing he’s right, but no way in hell am I going to admit it to him.
“Shit,” I mumble, and Brady drones his fatherly know it all ‘uh huh’ under his breath. Cocky bastard. Standing up, I take the steps two at a time. Right before I reach the top, I hear Brady and Dex talking.
“You give shitty advice,” Brady tells Dex.
“Fuck off, Mrs. Sadie Miller,” Dex says in return. “He’s gonna become pussy whipped, just like your ass.”
“And believe me, he’ll be happier,” Brady adds. As I reach the main floor, I pray Brady’s right.
After I shower to wash off the alcohol smell that’s oozing out my pores and brushing the Jack grime off my teeth, I hurry out of the house. By the way Jessa’s mom tosses me her keys, I’m pretty sure conversations in this house have already been overflowing with my love life problems. I thank her, and she gives me a reassuring smile.
Unable to drive there fast enough, since I know better than to speed. The mountain roads are crazy slick, even with the constant snowplows and salt trucks you see every few miles. I tap the fingers of my right hand on my knee, with the impatience at the slowness of time passing until I can convince her to take a chance on me, while my left hand palms the steering wheel directing the SUV.
The tires crunch on the gravel driveway and my heart plummets when I see Clyde helping Kailey out of Holly’s car. Screeching the car to a stop, I rush out, slamming the car door “What the hell happened?” I ask. Holly stares from Clyde to Kailey, then finally back at me.
She begins to speak when Clyde interjects, “She slipped on the ice,” he tells me, and I reach across holding her other side. “Be careful of her back,” he mentions, and I nod. Kailey’s green eyes glance over to me out of the corner, and my mind empties of every word I rehearsed on the way over.
Once we get Kailey into the house, we position her on the couch, and Holly places a pillow behind her back. Holly’s usual friendly demeanor has disappeared. I assume Kailey told her about us. She eyes me curiously and glances at Kailey often. Clyde even seems standoffish, taking the lead of his wife for directions if he should go or stay.
“Do you need anything, sweetie?” Holly pushes the ottoman over and Kailey rests her feet on top.
“Could you get me the Ibuprofen and water?” she asks all the while diverting her eyes away from me.
“Sure thing,” Holly says, patting her leg sympathetically.
Kailey takes the meds and drinks her water before asking Holly and Clyde if we could have a moment alone. They graciously agree, leaving with small smiles across their faces. Is that the ‘it’s been nice Trey, but sayonara’ look?
“What are you doing here, Trey?” She turns slightly my way, but grimaces. I get up and sit on the ottoman, so she doesn’t have to rotate her body.