“God no, you made a choice very few people can. It shows how big your heart is that you put her first and your feelings second. I could never be mad at you for that,” I say, taking both my hands and placing them on either side of his face. “It did just the opposite,” I add, and he smiles down to me. “But what does this have to do with the perfume?”
“Well, you might run now. The perfume was the scent of my ex’s, Zoey. But it’s not what you think. You know how a smell can transport your memory right back to a specific moment in time. You feel as though you’re living it all over again. Her perfume does that to me. Since she would hold the baby and then pass her to me, the smell was embedded into the blankets and her onesies. The last night that we were able to have her, Zoey fell asleep, and I kept the baby on my chest for the whole night. Laying back in the recliner, she curled up across my chest, and I stayed awake, watching every movement. Every nose wrinkle, open mouth, or eye open, etching them into my memory.
“Zoey and I ultimately broke-up a month or so after we gave the baby up. Neither one of us had been able to forget. Actually, strike that, Zoey did a pretty good job forgetting almost immediately. Hence the reason our relationship couldn’t survive it. It consumed me, whereas Zoey acted like it never happened. Not sure if that was her defense mechanism, to block it out or not, but it was complete opposite to the torment that consumed me every day. Anyway, after we broke up, I was starting to forget, the vision of her little baby face and the moments I shared with her were vanishing from my memory. I just couldn’t deal with it. I was walking through the mall one day, around Christmas, and all the perfume women were out spraying pieces of papers and handing them out to all the men. One lady handed me one, and I took it just to get them off my back, but then the smell hit me and instantly I was in that recliner with her on my chest. I saw her face and her blue eyes peering up at me. From that day forward, I always keep a small bottle of the perfume in the drawer. So I never forget, and I’m able to keep that moment with my daughter alive in my mind.” By this time, we’re out from the birch tree walkway and into the wide-open field with mounds of flowers at every angle. He slowly swipes a tear away that drops from his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize, because I really have nothing else I could say.
“Don’t be, I’m sure she’s in a great place. I’ve never regretted my decision, but I just want to keep her with me somehow.” He stops us to sit on a bench. After I take my seat, he follows suit. “So, the perfume isn’t to remind me of Zoey, I swear, Kailey,” he turns to me and his brown eyes are filled with relief.
“I understand. That’s why you come here, the sense of smell is very powerful,” I say, remembering when I stepped out of the car.
“Only in the spring,” he says. Then he wraps his arms around my shoulders. “Thank you for understanding.” He pulls my head down to his chest and lightly places his lips to the top a few times.
A few minutes go by, Trey holds me close and his heart slows to an even pace. I pick my head up and kiss his neck, committing the smell of Trey to my memory because I never want to forget this moment with Trey, the moment that we gave each other our love. We may not have said it out loud, but our hearts intertwined together on this bench today.
Chapter 10
Trey
The relief I feel at Kailey accepting my past is liberating as we walk hand in hand back to my car. I realize now I probably had no reason to worry about Kailey accepting my carelessness as a teenager, or that she wouldn’t understand my decisions. Family is at the forefront in Kailey’s life, so my worry that she might not fully understand how someone could give away a child that was a part of them was merited. I meant what I said; I’ve never regretted my decision. I may miss her and wonder what my life would be like if I had decided to keep her, but the same answer always resonate back; she’s in better hands with the family we chose. I reassure myself every day that she’s with parents who love her just as much as I do.
We pull into the driveway, and I sigh seeing all the same cars still lining it. Jackass Rob’s Mustang is parked in the driveway alongside Dex’s truck. “Would you rather go to my place?” Kailey squeezes my hand to gain my attention.
“Nah, they’ll eventually leave for the bar.” I climb out of the car to walk around to her side just as the dipshits file out of the house.
“Let’s go, Michaels, party over at Kipernick’s. Last one before graduation,” Dex hollers, and then notices Kailey getting out of the car. “Never mind,” he says with a smile on his face.
The other guys stare over and jokingly roll their eyes before climbing into Dex’s truck. “See you, jerkoff,” Rob calls over, and blatantly appraises Kailey. “Hell, if I had that hot piece, I might stay home too.” He chuckles and ducks into the back seat.
My fists automatically ball up at my sides, but Kailey calms my rage instantly by placing her hand on my forearm. I smile down at her and those green eyes show me everything I want. There’s no way I’m wasting an opportunity to have her in my bed. Scooping her up, I knock the car door shut with my ass.
She laughs and wraps her arms around my neck. I claim her lips as I walk us to the door. Just as I’m fiddling with the doorknob, her tongue swipes across my neck and sucks my earlobe into her warm mouth. The door swings open, and I’m about to step through the doorway when her body freezes in my arms. Pulling back, I question her abrupt stop and her eyes shift to the right to direction me. Following her line of vision, I notice Bridgette standing in her lawn staring at us with a look of disgust across her face. I give her a quick nod of my head to acknowledge her, and she just stands there, like a fucking lawn ornament. Then Dex’s truck backs up and stops by her. She hops in and flips me off through the window.
Kailey tenses in my arms, her eyes focused on the truck pulling away. “Don’t worry about her,” I say softly, hoping she’ll take my advice and let us enjoy this night. We’ve gotten this far, and there’s no way I’m allowing Bridgette to stop us.
“Trey?” I shake my head, not putting her down on the ground, thinking here we go; the moment between us is finished.
“Yeah,” I murmur. “It wasn’t anything. It was—casual,” I admit, and she nods her head with obvious understanding of who I was and the girls I’ve had.
“Kailey.” Her eyes land on mine, and I don’t miss the disappointment that currently fills them. “I wish like hell I could somehow change the past and take every damn girl and stupid decision back. I wish I could go back and tell myself ‘there’s an amazing girl that’s waiting for you to find her, just hold on’. But I can’t. I promise you, though, you have me, there’s no one else.” Her lips begin to creep up slightly, and I take my opportunity to capture them, this time for good. Kicking the door shut behind us, I carry her up the stairs while her fingers massage the back of neck and my tongue searches for hers. Her moans have me even antsier to reach the security of my bedroom.
When I land on the top of the stairs, I vaguely sense a presence, but it’s not until Kailey giggles and stops kissing me that I realize Sadie’s there. She says, “Oh, don’t mind me, continue on.” She laughs, descending the stairs we just came up.
“Finally!” Brady chimes in following Sadie.
Ignoring both of them, we finally escape into my room, and I shut and lock the door before tossing her on the bed. She lightly bounces off the mattress, laughing the entire time. I double check the bathroom door and then climb on top of her. Slowly, I begin to kiss her neck, up the curve of her jawline, finally landing at her ear.
She whimpers and widens her legs for me to fit in between. As soon as my hardness finds her center, she encloses those long gorgeous legs around my torso to hold me close. Grinding myself against her fuels the fire as moans of pleasure escape her throat. Hell, I doubt I’ll hold on long between the grinding and the soundtrack of desire echoing within the walls. Rising up on my hands, I stare down at her, the most beautiful girl lying under me with expectations I worry I can’t fulfill. All the confidence that’s usually flowing out of me in this situation has vanished, and now I’m shaking with insecurity. She needs more of me than I’ve ever given. She deserves to be cherished and loved. I pray I’m able to show her just how much she means to me. My fingers find the buttons on her shirt. Popping the buttons, her purple lace bra begins to peek out, and I groan when my knuckles graze across her hard nipple. Her legs give out and collapse against the bed, as her head falls back into the soft mattress. Watching her eyes leisurely close, my lips descend on her collarbone and travel across her chest until they plant in the middle of her breasts. I reach behind her and unclasp the two hooks. At least, my shaking hands are able to maneuver that like a pro.