“What? How was I supposed to know it was her idea? It would have been beautiful—if they were all alive.” Dex places his hands in his pocket, shaking his head.
“Enough,” Trey tells him, “just let it go,” he attempts to help him out from the hole he’s currently digging himself into.
“Come on, guys, it’s funny.” Dex stares up and raises his hands walking backwards. “I can’t be the only one that sees the humor in this,” he continues, and Trey chuckles slightly while Brady narrows his eyes before cracking a smile himself.
Sadie and Sam quickly turn around watching the four of us lowly laughing. Their hands on their hips and astonished looks, we each try to stifle our humor back. “I just wanted it to be beautiful. I ruined their wedding,” Sadie admits, covering her face. Brady jogs over to her while Sam consoles her.
“It’s not your fault. It’s the damn place you ordered them from. What’s the name? I’ll go find them and kick their ass myself,” Brady pretends to crack his knuckles, and Sadie shakes her head.
“Stop it, Brady,” she says through sobs.
“I mean it. They hurt my girl, I’ll hurt them.” All of us burst into full out laughter. Sadie picks up her head, staring at each one of us. Finally, her lips turn up, and she punches Brady in the chest. He grabs her hand and pulls him into her. They embrace until Sadie picks up her head. “We owe them an expensive wedding present,” she mentions.
“Um...no. They wouldn’t even know each other if it wasn’t for us. Believe me, we gave them the once in a lifetime fucking wedding present,” Brady reminds her and luckily it appeases her.
We all climb into our separate cars. Trey opens my door, and I slide in. After he starts the car, he looks my way. “You are beautiful.” He puts the car in reverse, and I wish I knew how we got to this point. I wanted today to be different. I desperately wanted to forget all my responsibilities and enjoy it being just me and him.
I tried to have us do the typical things people our age do. That’s the only reason I pushed Trey to go to that condemned bar named Billy’s two weeks ago. I wanted to show him, we could have it all. We could take the kids to Showtime and go out with friends and drink until dawn. But all that happened was we became edgy with each other from being exhausted. We were tired and cranky. Eventually we decided to leave the bar at midnight, went back to his place and fell asleep. It was the first time I laid side of side with Trey instead of entwined in his arms. From that night forward we forked off from one another. He’s been so busy with the early stages development on the building that I haven’t seen him except for one night this week. Since it happened to correlate with the very same night Caden had a night class, we spent the few hours together, feeding and bathing the kids, filled with silence between us.
Jen has only gotten worse. A hospital bed was delivered and set up downstairs in the den where she mostly sleeps. The kids are confused, and I have no idea what to tell them. Caden walks around like a zombie, not talking to anyone unless asked a direct question. When the kids hop on his lap, he listens to them and smiles when he should, but the blank facial expression confirms his mind is somewhere far, far away from us. The inevitable is coming, and it has encompassed all of us, even Drew. For the first time in a while, the ping of fear that Trey and I won’t survive this consumes me. The path we’re on is separating farther. Soon our hands and love are bound to tear apart.
A tight squeeze of my hand pulls me from my nightmare, and I look up at the restaurant. “You okay?” he asks me. His brown eyes stare over with clear concern if I’m happy or sad today. He cares about me, and I’m not going to waste these few free hours we have, thinking about ‘what ifs’ in regards to our future.
“Perfect,” I say, and a huge smile brightens his face. The best sight I’ve seen in the past two weeks. “I love you,” I whisper when he bends down to kiss me.
“I love you. Let’s just relax and have fun tonight. It’s me and you, all right?” he cocks his head to the side, awaiting my agreement.
“Yes,” I mumble, and when his lips hit mine, I’m transported to our first kiss. He pours all his desire for me into our kiss, and it covers me in a warm and loving blanket. All I want to do is nuzzle up to him and savor the ocean scent that’s Trey.
When he parts from me, my body chills, and I push all other thoughts away. My door opens, and I take his hand, climbing out of the car.
The atmosphere blankets the room with love, and emanates through all of us. The small round tables are lined with white linens and small lit votive candles. Silver packages that we wrapped are perfectly placed on top of each plate. The room looks elegant and simple, just like Jessa.
Trey’s hand is either in mine, or resting on my knee, throughout most of the dinner. We talk about reality television and drinking games. I miss this carefree life of a college student. Sam and Dex can’t keep their hands off each other, constantly roaming and kissing. Every time she gets up, he smacks her ass and she jumps in reaction. Although I envy the way Dex doesn’t hide his attraction to her, neither one of them shows much romantic affection toward one another. It’s grabbing and swatting, but no caressing and lingering kisses. I wonder if maybe, in fact, they are just fuck buddies, like Dex refers to them as.
Envious of their public displays of desire, I begin to let my hand explore up Trey’s pants leg. As I continue talking about Vanderpump Rules with Sam, I grab his package, feeling it start to bulge against my palm. He quickly places his hand over mine to stop me, but I’m persistent, searching for his zipper. Just as I grip it with my fingers and begin to lower it he tenses in his chair, and I worry the table will pick up on the little game of cat and mouse we’re playing.
The hotness of his crotch hits my hand as I weasel it through the opening. As soon as I reach my destination, he takes my hand and places it back in my lap. Shifting in his seat, I know he’s discretely zipping himself back up, trying not to draw attention. A rush of emotions detonates within me; embarrassment, guilt, but most of all self-doubt. He just knocked all my self-esteem out the window with the push of his hand. I slowly become more enraged the longer I sit and talk about a show that follows a group of servers and bartenders that appear more like enemies than friends. Excusing myself from the table, I escape out to the lobby.
Tears threatening to break at any moment, I pep talk myself to quickly become composed. This is your night off, enjoy it, I repeat to myself. But it’s no use, the one tear escapes before I can stop it.
Seeing the ladies sign, I make determined steps to reach that door before it all crashes down. With both hands on the door, I’m abruptly grabbed by my wrist and dragged out the back door. The sweltering heat immediately has sweat starting to drip down the crease of my breasts. My back hits the brick wall before Trey’s fuming face fills my complete vision.
“What the hell, Kailey?” he asks me, anger filling every word.
“Forget it, Trey,” I push him back with my arms, but he takes my wrists and pins them up against the wall. The brick scratches my wrists as I attempt to wiggle out of his grasp.
“Why the hell are you mad?” His nostrils flare while his eyes question me.
“I was trying to be spontaneous, sexual. Make you want me,” I admit, still wiggling and shifting any weight to get the advantage in this conversation.
“I want you every minute of every day. Actually, scratch that, every second.” His hands loosen, but he doesn’t let me go.
“How come you’ve taken girl after girl against a bathroom stall or a dark corner? Hell, you’ve probably received fucking hand jobs in lecture halls. But with me, it’s all hand holding, hand on the small of my back until we get behind closed doors. I get it that I’m not as sexy as your other conquests, but I don’t think I’m some hideous monster either.” I take a deep breath, surprised by own response. That I just divulged all my insecurities about my being enough for him sexually.