I walk her through the living room and kitchen, positioning her on the couch in the family room. We sit in silence with only her labored breaths sounding the room. Eventually she collapses from exhaustion on my lap, and I pull a blanket down from the back of the couch and drape it over her. Loosening my tie, I slip my shoes off and turn on the television. My head falls back to the cushioned fabric with the light of the TV flickering in the darkness. All that I think about before my eyes lose the battle of sleep is, am I strong enough to get her through this?
I’m awoken by Drew’s babbling and Chloe’s voice talking to him. I slide out from under Kailey and head upstairs. Chloe is on a step stool, reaching in to grab Drew from the crib. “Whoa,” I say, rushing over to pick him up. Chloe loses her footing right before I snatch Drew from her arms.
“Trey, what are you doing here?” Chloe asks me while I make my way over to the changing table to change Drew’s diaper.
“Well, good morning to you too,” I joke, and she giggles.
“Did you sleep in Aunt Kailey’s room again?” The little imp caught me sneaking out of Kailey’s room one morning. Usually I wake up early and act like I slept on the couch. But the five year old private investigator caught me red handed in pajama pants and no shirt.
“No, I was on the couch,” I answer her, rubbing the top of her head. Her hairs spring up from the static cling. She rolls her eyes just like her aunt would do, they’re more alike than they realize.
With Drew in my arms, I instruct Chloe to go into her room. Turning on the television, I sit Drew in her lap to watch an episode of Dora. I escape into the hall and peer into Tara’s room. She’s at her closet, pulling out different shirts and pants out of the drawers and tossing them to the floor.
“Tara?” I walk into the room trying to figure out what in the hell she’s doing.
“Trying to find a dress. I want to wear a twirly dress.” She continues plucking every item out until she lands on a pink dress with green polka dots on it. I swear, who the hell designs clothes for kids? They’re always so bright and gaudy looking.
“You have to put the clothes back in the drawer,” I instruct her, but she just ignores me, changing her clothes. Deciding that will be an argument for later, I turn to make sure Chloe and Drew are okay. When I get to her room, they aren’t there. Just the blare of Dora and Boots shouting ‘No Swiper, no’ fills the room. By the time I get to the top of the stairs, Tara grabs my hand. At least her independence means, I don’t have to dig up clothes and beg her to get dressed.
I hear Kailey’s sweet voice before my feet hit the bottom of the stairs. When I reach the kitchen, she’s in her dress from last night mixing Drew’s oatmeal and pouring Chloe’s cereal. The girl amazes me. “Good morning,” I say and kiss her cheek. “I had dreams of slowly taking this dress off your body,” I whisper in her ear, and she shivers. I love it when I have that effect on her.
All the kids sit down, and I grab Tara her cereal, while Kailey prepares the coffee. We really have already mastered this routine from all the times we either let Caden and Jen sleep in or Caden had an early class and Jen was too tired or weak. The eerie part is the kids don’t ask where their father or mother is this morning. It’s like they’re so used to having Kailey and I around they don’t think anything is different.
We all go on with our routine, and I’m happy it’s Sunday, so I’m able to help Kailey. She’s been pretty quiet all day, keeping to herself. I hope it has more to do with Jen than my fuck up last night by not coming back with her.
“Have you heard anything?” I ask Kailey.
Her eyes peer to the kids and then back to me before her head gives me a small shake. My stomach drops. We all knew this day was coming, but just thought there would be more time. I hear my phone start ringing from the end table. Scooting the chair out, I stand and pick it up. When Caden’s name crosses the screen, I walk into the solitude of the garage.
“Hey, Caden,” I answer.
“Trey, are you alone?” his voice quietly asks.
“Yeah.”
“It’s bad. The doctors have suggested hospice. Jen is refusing to come home, insisting on going to a care facility. They’re transporting us by ambulance in an hour or so. I’ll be back today to pack a bag.” Caden sighs into the phone.
“Don’t worry about things here, we have it under control. Stay with Jen. One of us can pack a bag and bring it up,” I inform him, my heart aching. My empathy for Caden and Jen has tears swelling in my eyes.
“Thanks,” his relieved voice flows through the line.
“No problem.”
We hang up, and I have no idea what the hell is going to happen. Even though we all knew this time was coming, I’m not sure we’re prepared for the outcome. The thought of breaking the news to Kailey, is the most unnerving I’ve felt in forever. I have to go into that room and give the love of my life the worst possible news. Her sister is in her final stages and soon won’t share the same breathing space as her. There’s no way I’m telling her in front of the kids, so I hammer a text off, and thankfully, I not only have the best girlfriend ever, but my friends are pretty awesome as well.
A half hour later, the doorbell rings, and Kailey curiously looks at me. “Who could it be?” I stand up sporting my pink necklace, bracelet, and earring to answer the door, fully aware I’ll be getting razed for this look.
“I know you liked the piercings, but you’re taking it to a whole other level now,” Brady jokes, walking into the house. Sadie slaps Brady across the shoulders. Dex follows behind with boxes of donuts. “Sorry,” Brady says, realizing not a good time to joke.
“Thanks, guys,” I say, and they each give me their own sympathetic look.
“Always.” Dex shoots a tight smile while clasping his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it a little.
Kailey stands up from the couch as soon as she hears the voices, staring at us from across the room. Her eyes shift between them to me, and her breath stops for a moment when she puts two and two together. A look of devastation occupies her beautiful face, and she whispers, “Did you call them?” With one nod, she’s sprinting past me and up the stairs.
“Go,” Dex instructs.
“Who wants DONUTS?” Brady exclaims in his most excited voice. I hear the girls screech, and their bare feet stomp across the hardwood floors.
I find Kailey in Jen’s room, with a suitcase on the bed. “She needs her stuff. How long will she be there? I don’t know what to bring her. Oh, I’ll have to bring her face cream and mascara. She’ll die if someone sees—.” She rushes into the bathroom, and I follow.
“Kailey,” I say gently, attempting to ease her into this.
She continues tossing make-up into a small colorful bag. Her eyes look to the ceiling, as though she’s thinking about what else to bring. She has an ‘aha’ moment and steadily walks to Jen’s closet. Standing in the middle of the room, watching her scramble back and forth, I gather every ounce of courage in me. When she passes me for the fifth time, I grab her and pull her into my chest. “Relax, baby.” She melts into my embrace for a few minutes, but then she’s off again, talking to herself while grabbing clothes and Jen’s belongings.
Instead of stopping her, I decide to help and get Caden’s things together for him. After we have the suitcases ready, I carry them downstairs while Kailey cleans herself up. Neither one of us has taken a shower, and I’m still wearing a wrinkled shirt and slacks.
Dex has the girls on each shoulder, pretending they’re on a roller coaster. They giggle as his body walks around the house dipping and rising. “Try not to injure them,” I say with an edge to my voice. When I turn the corner, Sadie has Drew in the highchair, giving him small amounts of a glazed donut, and Brady sits on the couch with the remote in his hand. “So, we’ll be back,” I begin to explain, but the sound of Kailey’s footsteps stops me.