We say our goodbyes, and I tell them I’ll text or call as soon as I know what’s going on. Caden texted me fifteen minutes ago that they’re on the way to the hospice facility. I drop the suitcases in the trunk and climb in next to her. After reversing out of the driveway, I grab a hold of her hand; coldness replaces the usual warmth.
“I’ll be with you every step.” My words are sincere and honest.
“Thank you.” I soothingly rub my thumb across her knuckles, and she clamps her other hand on top of our entwined fingers.
She stares out the window for the half hour drive. The silence between us saying everything. We know what the future has in store for us. The despair, depression, and sadness will become our norm for an intermittent time. But, I’ll see her through it, and we’ll get to other side together.
The small one story brick building looks nice and well-kept. I follow Kailey with the suitcases in my hands. The front desk area is adorned with plants and nice calming colors of pale pink and green. A friendly lady stares up at us with a wide smile that shows her perfectly white teeth. “How can I help you?” Her eyes glance at the luggage in my hands before focusing on Kailey again.
“We’re here to see Jennifer Campbell,” Kailey tells her, and the woman’s lips turn down, but quickly even out. The huge welcoming smile is no longer present.
“Mr. Troutdale, our facilitator would like to have a word with you.” She places her finger up in the air, while picking up the phone. After a hushed conversation she hangs up and instructs us to have a seat.
“What’s this about?” Kailey asks when we take our spot in the designated chairs with a table of magazines fanned out in front of us.
“Not sure, maybe to give us more information.” I shrug my shoulders.
Five minutes later, a tall man with greying hair and a slender build emerges out behind a locked door with two police officers on either side of him. His determined steps in our direction, tells me it’s Mr. Troutdale, and I’m completely confused as to what is going on.
“Kailey Reynolds?” he questions. She looks at me and then stands up, shaking the hand he has out.
“That’s me,” she answers, her voice beginning to shake. I stand up beside of her, and the police officers give me a double take.
“Can you come with us?” he asks, and I pick up the luggage.
“Oh, you can leave those here, Wendy will watch them.” I skeptically narrow my eyes in his direction, but he places a perfectly composed stature across his face.
This time Kailey grabs my hand, instead of the other way around. I bring our hands to my lips and kiss the back of her hand. We follow Mr. Troutdale and the two police officers through the locked doors.
Chapter 17
Present Day 72 Hours Later
Trey
By the time I get out of work two days after she ripped my life away, my mind is a blur, and I’m exhausted from two nights of no sleep. I check my phone and there are no texts or missed calls. Briefly, I debate if I should call her again. She has to come around eventually, she’s just grieving. Right? This has been the wedge in our relationship from the beginning. I’ve constantly had to fight against some image in her head of what my life should be. It’s my life and my choices. To be honest, I still imagined myself drinking and partying at this age. Not my now usual routine of putting the kids to bed and then crashing with Kailey on the couch to watch some dumbass reality show about millionaires who can’t find love. But that vision shifted as soon as Kailey sat down next to me on that airplane. I just need to get her to believe that.
The parking lot of the funeral home is packed. Finding a spot in the back of the lot, I take a deep breath before opening the door. This is my time. She can’t run or dodge my calls. She’ll have to face me here and allow me to comfort her and show her that we’ll weather this storm together.
I step through the doorway and people are milling about. Most I don’t recognize, except maybe some of Caden’s faculty friends from the university. When I step in the room, my heart plummets to the ground. The sight of side-by-side caskets with bouquets of flowers fill the front of the room. It’s hard to express that it’s almost peaceful that they went together. God knows I can’t imagine continuing my life without Kailey. Caden kept to himself mostly, but he showed the deep love he had in his own way. It wasn’t unusual for me to find him crying in his car, downstairs late at night, or just the sporadic tears that would overflow his eyes when Jen would be throwing up all night or admitted into the hospital. I sign the guest the book and wait my turn to give my condolences. My heart clenches, my mouth goes dry, and I fight to keep my feet planted to the ground. As much as I want to run to her and wisp her away from this whole scenario like some prince from the fairytales I read to Chloe and Tara, I don’t because this is reality not only for her but me too. Her body shifts, and her gaze concentrates on the floor in front of her while she waits for guests to hug her and whisper their sympathizes in her ear. Her aversion to looking up reveals she knows I’m here. How could she not? I felt her in the parking lot. That undeniable connection Kailey and I have had since I laid eyes on her that day.
People inch forward, and my time draws closer. She won’t be able to escape me. She’ll have to face me. I keep my eyes on her because there’s good chance I’ll be chasing her at some point.
The closed casket is lined with pictures of him, Jen, and the kids with an enormous bouquet of flowers. A small red sash, reading ‘Loving Husband and Father’ peeps out. Caden’s parents flew in the day after the accident, finally willing to help out. It’s the only reason I’ve given her the distance; otherwise, I’d be sleeping on that damn couch until she comes back to her senses. They give me their sympathies back. Caden had become a good friend over the past months, and I can’t help but sense his parents and he had a strained relationship. They’ve been upfront and honest that due to their age and location, they can’t take responsibility for the kids, not that Kailey would want or allow it. I place my hand on the casket and say a silent prayer for a funny, straight-forward man, who’s up in heaven with his lovely wife. No one could have predicted that they would leave this earth together.
Instantly, my mind takes me back seventy-two hours ago. Mr. Troutdale’s deep gravelly voice rings in my head. “There’s been an accident...the ambulance was hit...it rolled several times...Mr. Campbell wasn’t strapped in...only the driver survived.” Kailey’s sobs were the next noise to fill the room. Her repeated ‘I don’t understands’ has me begging every last person in heaven to take this pain away from her. Send Caden and Jen back down, make this nightmare go away, make my girl happy again.
Kailey stays strong through her tears, even going down to identify the bodies after constant pleas from me not to. The police are willing to let me go by myself, but Kailey says she needs to see them to believe it.
She never even fully loses it when we go home. Deciding on how we’re going to tell the girls, Kailey decides to tell them together. Brady, Sadie, and Dex take Drew to the park while we sit Chloe and Tara down. Tara on Kailey’s lap and Chloe on mine, we tell them there was an accident, and that their parents wouldn’t be coming home. Of course, neither fully understands.
Later that day, Tara passes out from crying in a fit asking for her mom and dad, and Chloe sits in her room playing by herself. I knock softly, and she turns my way. The redness in her eyes evidence she’s more upset than she’s letting on. My feet carry me across the plush carpet, and I sit beside her, crossing my legs. Her collection of Barbies is strewn across the floor. “Do you want to talk?” I ask her.