The rest is a blur of activity. Driving to the church, Holly and Caden’s cousin’s eulogies, the cemetery and the caskets being lowered into the ground all runs together. Throughout the whole thing, Kailey doesn’t shed one tear, doesn’t release one sob. Polite and courteous as she sees the last guest out of the banquet room the university let her use. The catering crew makes the rounds of clearing dishes and glasses from the tables. Scooping up the tablecloths into balls and tossing them into baskets. Aunt Holly and Uncle Clyde have been lifesavers, taking the kids back to the house once again. She gathers her purse, and we walk out to my car without a word spoken. I open the door for her, she slides in, and I walk around to my side. I’m suddenly breaking inside that the one I love is shattered beyond my healing powers.
When we get to the house, it’s darker than last night. I’m not surprised the kids aren’t already crashed in their beds. I swallow hard, wanting desperately to beg her. Let me come in, hold you tonight, and begin this new life with you; be together and face this as a team, I can be her savior, her knight. “Thank you, Trey. Goodnight.” She hurries out of the car, just like last night.
Needing to give her some time, I back out of the driveway to return to my lonely bed, racking my brain on how I’ll convince Kailey to see what everyone else does.
Chapter 20
Kailey
It’s been two weeks since we buried Jen and Caden. Aunt Holly and Uncle Clyde are staying for the summer to help everyone get adjusted. Their help is great, since I was in the middle of summer school. Now that they’re retired they volunteered to move here permanently, or us to Colorado, but I declined the offer. Chloe still has nightmares, but they’re only a few times a week. Tara and Drew don’t completely understand, mostly asking where their mom and dad are right before bed or a nap. We’re hanging on, mostly to each other for the life support we need to carry on.
Trey stops by every day, either taking the kids to the park or just to hang out for a few hours. I try to make myself scarce, but occasionally I just sneak up to my bedroom until I hear the roar of his muffler disappear down the street. My body begs me to stay where he is, waiting for his fingers to brush against mine, to feel that electric shock, but it will just make the inevitable harder. Trey won’t be able to stay in this caged life. He should be out there living, instead of nailed down with three kids and a pseudo wife. His tenacious side is really shining, and I’m waiting for the day he doesn’t show up, the day he finally chalks it up and forgets us.
Uncle Clyde continues to do his silent encouraging, and Aunt Holly furthers her bluntness to informing me what a stubborn ass I’m being. But they don’t understand, I saw the toll it took on Caden when he took me on as well as Jen. Not to say we weren’t happy, we were, but it wasn’t easy. I can’t help thinking Caden wouldn’t have minded dating Jen without having to worry about a babysitter or a little sister tagging along. Those teenage years, when I was outspoken and downright mean. The fights we had when I disrespected Jen. I love Trey. I wish everyone would understand, I’m putting us both through hell for him.
That doesn’t mean I’m not mourning Trey in a way as well. My heart practically shatters every time I see him, my feet desperately want to disobey me and run toward him. It would be easier for me to jump into his arms and allow him to wipe away all my worries. So, I keep repeating to myself, it’s for his own good. I just wish he’d give up already because I’m starting to waiver the more he comes around.
Especially since when I came back from class this afternoon, I found suitcases by the door. “Aunt Hol,” I yell, “what’s with the suitcases?”
She doesn’t bother even turning around from the sink. “We’re going somewhere,” she says, continuing to clean the dishes.
“Where, and who is we?” I make my way to the fridge to grab a Diet Coke.
“All of us. Well, you probably won’t want to go, so you can stay here. But me, Clyde, and the kids.” She’s been giving the cold shoulder for the past week.
“Where would you be going? It’s Fourth of July, I thought we could—,”
“We’ve been invited to Trey’s family’s house. I think it would do some good for the kids to get away.”
“You can’t just take them,” I spout. She turns around and raises her eyebrows at me.
“Okay, Kailey, can we take the kids to Trey’s for the long weekend?” She sighs and purses her lips.
“No,” I answer, shaking my head.
“Too bad.” she shrugs her shoulders.
“I said no. I’m their guardian.”
“Kailey, they need a change. They need something to look forward to. To get out of this house and not be reminded of everything they lost. Maybe you want to continue to wallow in grief, but it’s not fair to them.”
Taken back, I cock my head, surprised she’s pointing the finger at me. I wasn’t the driver who smashed into the ambulance. I’m not the one who gave Jen cancer. All I’ve done is continued our normal schedule. The kids do everything like they did before their parents died. It’s not like I lay in my bed all day feeling sorry for myself. Well, maybe a little.
“That boy loves those kids and you too, if you’d just open your damn eyes you’d realize it. His mom called me and invited all of us, including you, which is more than I can say I would do from the way you’ve treated her son.” I release a deep breath from exhaustion of her attitude with me.
“Fine. Go. I’ll stay here.” I shout at her while I walk up the stairs. A memory suddenly floods to mind of the fights I had with Jen when I was sixteen. Oh, how I miss her.
When I get to my room, I slam the door like a teenager and flop down on my bed. Anger rising within me, the nerve that she’s taking the kids away, and with Trey. My phone dings in my pocket, and I pull it out.
Trey: Please think about coming. It would be good to get away. Love, your little drummer boy. Although, there’s nothing little about me. ;)
Tossing the phone into my pillow, I let my head fall down onto my crossed arms. The ache that occupies my body is for Trey. I’ve been dreaming about him every night. The feel of his warm arms wrapped around me. There’s no way, I can be in a car with him for three hours, but at the same time there’s no way I can’t. The pull to him is too strong, and he’s weakened me these past weeks as much as I hate to admit it.
Already accepting I should be packing my bag another text comes through.
Trey: Not even a LOL or smiley? Give me something.
The smallest smile starts to form. Damn him.
Me: LOL. Happy now?
Trey: I won’t be happy until you agree to come. Come on my cat girl.
Say no, say no.
Me: Fine.
Trey: Pack a skimpy bikini. Wait, strike that. Bring a one piece too. The bikini will be for the midnight swims with just you and me.
Uh, the audacity of him to think just because I’m agreeing to go, I’ll be skinny dipping with him in the middle of the night.
Me: Don’t get any ideas. I’m not going to be skinny dipping with the likes of you.
Trey: Look has the dirty mind now. I said bikini, not naked. But hey, I’m sure you can persuade me. I’m leaving my house, so pack that bag because I’m coming to get ALL of you.
Just like that the butterflies swarm within my stomach, and the anticipation of being near him grows more intense. Jesus, Kailey, you have no self-control. You’ve held off for the past two weeks, and now you’re just going to give in. What the hell is wrong with you? You love him that’s what.