“There are more pictures, but Jen and Caden moved here right before Jen got diagnosed, so most of them are still boxed up in the basement. I hope you don’t mind, I read the letter Jen wrote to you before she sent it. It’s all true, she was very grateful to you and Zoey for giving them the opportunity to love and raise Chloe.” Her voice breaks, and I nod. The letter we got with the pictures was a simple and heart filled letter from Jen, thanking us for being brave and trusting enough to give our daughter up for adoption. It’s a letter that kept me going in those early years, a reminder that I did the right thing.
“Are Tara and Drew adopted?”
“No, Jen became pregnant with Tara right after they adopted Chloe. It’s that same story, when the stress of trying stops, it happens.”
“Does Chloe know?” I’m glad Kailey seems okay with me asking questions.
“She knows she’s adopted. Jen and Caden have always been upfront with her. Not sure what we’ll say now.” Yeah, that’s a whole other question and answer round I’m not quite ready for yet.
“I want you to know that I loved Chloe just as much when she wasn’t mine as I do knowing she is. It’s no different than my love for Tara and Drew.” I begin to plead my case, hoping she’ll face this together with me.
She looks around the room. “Will you fight me for her?” her question throws me.
I close my eyes and open them. “No,” I whisper, knowing I’ll barely hang on to a life without any of them. “If you think you’ll be happier without me, I’m gone. I wouldn’t rip her from the life she’s known all these years.”
“What if she wants to find you one day?”
“That’s your decision,” I scoot the envelope back her way. “You can give her this.”
She eyes it on the table for what seems like hours and then looks up at me. “You can give it to her yourself.” She nudges the letter back my way and smiles gently.
“So you’re not pushing me out?”
“Nope.”
“What are we going to say?” I question her.
“I’m not sure— I’m sorry for what I said.” She squeezes my hand. “I shouldn’t have come to that conclusion. I was just taken aback. Not that there’s—,”
I stop her from talking by placing my lips on hers. “It’s okay. I understand. But next time, will you just stand still? My feet are getting sore from all the running.” I laugh, but she just bites her lip. “I love you,” I say and her lips turn up.
“I love you too. I promise from this moment, I’ll never run away from you again.”
“Deal.” I kiss her again. “When do you think our life will become simple?” I ask.
“Well, how old is Drew? So, seventeen years, maybe.”
“Nah, do you actually think I’m not going to knock you up with a couple kids?” I gently pull her up and into my lap. “We’re looking at years of chaos,” I add.
“I look forward to every second,” she says, kissing me on the lips. Then she stands up and holds her hand out to me, and I immediately join her. “Let’s go have some fun with our family at the park.”
“I have no shoes,” I say, glancing at my bare feet.
“I guess we’ll have to keep all of them here from now on.” She wraps her arms around my waist.
“Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”
“Hey, who wouldn’t want a hot, sexy D.I.L.F. hanging around the house?” she shrugs her shoulders.
“Now there’s a killer nickname. But shit, that makes you a M.I.L.F.”
3 months later...
“So, you’re my Dad?” Chloe asks while scooping the chocolate chip sundae into her mouth fast enough to cause an imminent brain freeze.
“I’m your biological Dad, yes. But your dad is still your dad. You have two,” I explain to her, and Kailey squeezes my leg.
“So do I call you Dad, instead of Trey?” She asks, placing the heaping amount into her mouth.
“That’s up to you.” I’m not even sure what I want her to call me. I just want her to be comfortable.
“Can I think about it?” she mumbles through her ice cream.
“For as long as you want,” I assure her.
We took Chloe out to dinner, just the three of us, and surprisingly she took the news well. After she finishes her ice cream, we file out of the booth and she grips both our hands. Her head bobs from me to Kailey, and we smile down at her and then at one another. “I miss Mommy and Daddy. But I like our new family too.” She lets go of our hands, skipping ahead of us, and my hand finds Kailey’s. Her warmth spreading through my body like it always has.
“I like our new family too,” I say to Kailey and kiss her on the cheek.
“It went better than I expected,” she mentions, and I nod in agreement.
“Let’s go home.”
When we walk into the house, Jessa sits on the couch with Tara curled up along her small belly. Grant’s on the floor playing hot wheels with Drew. “Look at you two getting ready for parenthood,” I say, announcing our arrival.
“It’s relaxing and nice,” Jessa says, and Kailey laughs.
“Come over more often,” she sits on the couch next to Tara.
If it wasn’t for our friends, we wouldn’t have gotten through the last three months. Holly and Clyde wanted to stay, but we sent them home, saying we could handle it. Kailey attends most her classes at night, so she can stay home while I’m at work. If I have to quit my job I will, but she’ll graduate if it’s the last thing I do. Our friends frequently babysit and visit us so regularly they’ve already earning the pseudo names Aunt and Uncle.
Jen and Caden’s room still remains shut, the suitcases still sit on the floor, Jen’s hairbrush on the sink. Kailey isn’t ready just yet, and I’m not going to push her. Their pictures adorn the walls, and we talk about them often, so the kids remember their parents. All of us together, alive and dead, make up this house, as a family.
Jessa and Grant stay and help us put the kids to bed. Jessa is trying to pick Kailey’s brain on every last detail to make sure she’s prepared. Obviously, she doesn’t remember who she’s married to. Grant probably has a list of everything he needs, like some damn Boy Scout. I bet he’s already read two parenting books.
After we get everyone down, I’m eager for them to leave, so I can have Kailey to myself. It’s one of the best times of my day. The house quiets, and I snuggle up with the woman I love, cherishing what we have. Thank god they take my subtle hint when I say, “Thanks for watching the kids, now get the fuck out.”
We say our goodbyes, and Kailey begins walking into the kitchen. I quickly step up behind and wrap my arms around her waist. Snuggling on the couch, she begins to fade fast until eventually succumbing to sleep. I watch her for a few moments, her chest rising and falling and the light stream of breath flowing from her mouth. She’s so beautiful, and she’s mine. A feeling of ownership and happiness flows through my body. I finally found where I belong.
I get up, turn off the television and carry my beautiful girlfriend up to our bedroom. She wakes up barely to get dressed in her pajamas, and I strip down to my boxers and curl up next to her. Her ass presses into me and it’s all I can do not to wake her up. But she needs her sleep, so I wait until my eyes eventually droop and close.
I’m awoken by the bed bouncing and loud squeals the next morning. All three kids are jumping around, laughing and falling all around Kailey and me. I reach up and grab Drew, pulling him down to the bed. He giggles in delight, and Kailey stretches awake displaying her flat stomach when her shirt rises up. “I guess it’s time to get up,” I say to her, pulling her close to me.