We sat there in silence awhile. Then Kathleen said, “Donovan?”
“Uh huh?”
“Will you still see me if I adopt Addie?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“A lot of men would rather date gorgeous, young, big-boobed women that aren’t single mothers.”
“Yuck,” I said. “Not me!”
On my way to Aunt Hazel’s, I reflected on the enormity of the accounts I’d seized from Joe DeMeo. He was far wealthier than I’d anticipated, and in fact, money was still pouring in at a healthy clip. I supposed the contributors hadn’t yet heard the news of DeMeo’s fall. After paying all costs of the campaign, I had enough left over to give a million dollars each to Lou, Kimberly, and Janet. Janet seemed quite pleased to get a share, I thought, even though she said it was a drop in the bucket compared to what I’d cost her in misery.
I thought about Garrett Unger and how he was scheduled to be arrested this morning. I hadn’t said anything about it to Kathleen, and I hadn’t mentioned the million dollars that would be wired into her personal account by 2:00 pm today, or the trust I was setting up for Addie that would be funded with the initial ten million I’d clipped from DeMeo. These were all surprises that were sure to make breakfast at Tiffany’s seem pale by comparison. Not to mention the biggest surprise of all-when Kathleen finds out I’m not just a baker, but an accomplished cook as well.
Traffc was moving, but slowly. I looked out the window and saw the small piles of black snow, the only visible remnants of a brutal winter. We plodded our way under a bridge, and I noticed several bums huddled together under blankets, trying to sleep. I wondered what had happened in their lives that brought them to this bridge on this day.
I had my driver pull over. I got out of the car and approached the bums. “I’ve got something for you,” I said.
It took a minute, but the three men roused themselves to sitting positions. There was no way to tell how old or young they were, but they were equally filthy. I handed each of them a hundred dollar bill, and they all said “God bless you, sir.”
The first guy held up a small bottle of blackberry brandy. There was maybe a sip left in it. “You want to sit and have a drink?” he asked.
“Another time,” I said, but I didn’t leave.
“That’s mighty generous of you mister,” one of the guys said. “Mighty generous, indeed.”
Another one said, “Know what I’m gonna do with my hunnerd?”
“What’s that?” I said.
“I’m gonna go to a fancy bar and get drunk on the finest whiskey money can buy.”
I nodded.
The second guy said, “I’m gonna get me some pussy. Been a long time since I’ve had pussy.”
I handed all three of them another hundred dollars and said, “Now all three of you can get drunk and get some pussy.”
The third one said, “I’m a woman, you dumb shit.”
One of the others said, “Mm hmm, you right, Agnes. He is a dumb shit.”
I was about to apologize, but my cell phone rang. I waved goodbye to my new friends and climbed back in the car to take the call.
“Mr. Creed… I’ve got… some… good news… and some… bad news.”
“Hi, Victor,” I said. “Bad news first.”
“The social… experi… ment has… run its… course,” he said.
“I’m okay with that,” I said. I’d known it was just a matter of time before we got to a bunch of leads that were already dead. “What’s the good news?”
“I’ve got… another… idea… that is… in… credi… ble and… I want… you to… partici… pate.”
“Is there money in it for me?”
“Lots.”
“Will this interfere with your plans for world conquest?”
“It might… delay… them some… but it… will be… fasci… nating. In fact… it is… the most… amazing… thing… you will… ever hear… in your… life!”
“I’m listening,” I said.
He told me.
And when I heard it, I had to agree.