"When are are you coming back down here?" He asked.
Ruby laughed and put on her less than innocent voice. "Miss me already?"
"Or maybe I just liked having you wait on me hand and foot for a week," he shrugged nonchalant.
Ruby leaned her elbows on the counter with a coyly arched eyebrow, already missing being out of Storybrooke and hanging out in Boston for the last week, though she wouldn't give the man the benefit of the doubt. She had grown fond of him over the last several months where they kept up via phone calls and emails. When word of his surgery came about, he had already mentioned Regina and Henry were on their way, so the waitress had booked off the week the Mills were scheduled to return from Boston. August needed help and care anyway, and having two different women see to him in the past month had probably been heavenly. Ruby chuckled darkly. "You just want to see me in a French maid outfit you kept hounding me about."
"Nope," August denied unconvincingly. "It was definitely Red I missed. She and Figaro get along famously. Imagine the mutant cubs they'd make."
"Lies."
"All right, maybe I'm a little bit curious."
"Ruby!" Granny barked, coming around the counter to tend to the till. "You ain't on vacation anymore, girl, now get to work."
Rolling her eyes, Ruby turned her back to her grandmother and continued the conversation in a low husky tone. "Get through your physio and maybe I will." She bit her pen provocatively at August's low groan, but suddenly yelped at the sharp sting to her behind where she jumped and turned to see Granny with a dish rag.
"Stop with all that sex talking and get to work. And tell that young man I say hello."
"Do you want me to work or deliver your message?" She called after her Granny who did nothing more than just glare at her and disappear into the kitchen. August's laughter had her sucking her teeth and glaring into the phone. "Don't encourage her."
"I like her," he determined before his laughter quieted down.
"You can be buddy-buddy with her at Henry's birthday next month. You are still coming, right?"
"Are you kidding? It's not a party unless Uncle August is there."
"Don't say that, you sound like pedophile."
"How is my favourite nephew and Mayor doing?"
"There must be something in that Boston water because I've never seen Regina out and about and quite so happy since Emma was here last. What did they even do there?"
"Shopping," August sounded disappointed.
"Do you think they screwed in your house?" Ruby asked suddenly. "Because we slept there, and Mayor Mills is constantly sporting the I've-been-laid grin."
There was a shuffling on the line, and Ruby imagined that perhaps August was inspecting the bed he was laying on for any signs that something less than innocent than sleeping occurred. "Well if they did, I hope they changed the sheets."
"So you basically stabbed yourself in the leg so that Emma could come home and you used reverse psychology on Regina to bring her to Boston," Ruby filled in.
"It wasn't a stab," he said offended before conceding. "I saw an opportunity and capitalized on it."
Ruby shook her head in disbelief because only August could come up with a successful far-fetched plan while undergoing surgery. "She's good though. She's had coffee dates nearly everyday this week with Tina Bell and Kathryn Nolan, and she actually looks like she's enjoying herself. And, by the way, Kathryn's husband, David, has been booking weekends at the B&B saying he likes to fish and Kathryn hates the smell, but I know it's not Kathryn sneaking into his room at night."
He gasped obnoxiously. "Does he have an evil twin with a penchant for taking lovers to his cabin in the woods?"
"Shut up," Ruby scolded playfully. "You're a bigger gossip than I am. You came up with an evil genius plan to get two of the most unlikely people together."
"Or," he drawled with a smug tone in his voice, "maybe I did it to get me into the good graces of a small town diner waitress who became good friends with one of the unlikely people in question."
Ruby chuckled but looked pleased. "You're a poet."
"Novelist," he amended. "How come you're not invited to these coffee dates?"
"Regina has a thing for blondes?" Ruby guessed. "I'm pretty sure she's only nice to me because of you and Emma."
"Nah, you're part of the family."
As if on cue a loud cry sounded in the diner as the door whipped open.
"Hi Auntie Ruby!" Henry had sprinted in, the door banging and the bell ringing in his wake as his mother followed shortly behind him along with Kathryn Nolan.
"What?" Ruby straightened and looked around confused because Henry surely couldn't have been talking to her. August laughing smugly in her ear did nothing to alleviate the confusion.
Henry clambered onto the bar stool, standing up on his knees. "It's my birthday soon."
Ruby ignored his statement with a simple nod of acknowledgement. "Did you just call me auntie?"
"Mommy says you and Un-ca August are boy-friend and girl-friend," he sing-songed and giggled in happy embarrassment.
"Oh yeah?" Ruby glanced up at the Mayor who had approached to stable her son with a hand on his back. She leaned down and whispered conspiratorially to the younger Mills. "Did your Mommy tell you she and Emma are gir-lfriends?"
"And probably sleeping with each other," August added loudly in her ear.
"Who lets you near their kids?" Ruby hastily hissed at him under her breath.
"Henry's moms!" He hissed back.
Henry giggled louder and blushed, hiding half his face in his mother's waist. "They were kissing!" He announced loudly to the diner that the regulars looked up and cocked eyebrows at their usually put-together Mayor whose face was the colour of a cherry tomato.
"Told you," August proclaimed matter-of-fact.
Ruby laughed out loud with August chortling along with her. Even Kathryn had a pleased smirk on her face as she nudged the Mayor. Clearing her throat and subtly putting a hand over Henry's mouth, Regina nodded to the waitress. "That's enough of that. Ms. Lucas, Kathryn and Tina have insisted on some ridiculous female night tomorrow."
"A girls' night, Regina," Kathryn sighed.
Ruby furrowed her brow and handed the cordless phone to Henry, pinching his cheek as she spoke. "Here, buddy, it's Uncle August."
Henry grabbed it eagerly and shrieked into the phone. "It's my birthday soon!"
"So you need a babysitter?" Ruby clarified over Henry's ramble.
"No, I wish for you to suffer with me."
Kathryn stepped in and placed a reassuring palm on Ruby's wrist. "We're having some drinks and watching a movie at Tina's. We're not torturing anyone." Kathryn threw a side glare at the Mayor with the latter statement being directed for her.
"Really?" Ruby smiled at Regina in surprised awe. "You want me to come with?"
"Of course."
"David will be watching Henry," Kathryn explained.
"Who will be watching David?" Regina muttered none too quietly. She caught Ruby's knowing grin and smirked. Maybe Ruby was wrong about the Regina not liking her thing. "So it's settled then? You'll be joining us."
"What should I bring?"
"That's going to kill my grass, isn't it?" August had arrived two days prior claiming his present was gonna knock the socks off of everyone else's, not giving a damn that Regina had fixed him with a curiously amused stare.
Now Regina had wished she had taken him a bit more seriously as she watched with mild horror as a very large and very long balloon house was inflating in her backyard.
"It's Henry's birthday, and you're worried about the grass?" August shook his head.