The Mayor shook her head and let it fall back on the couch gaining all three women's attention as they turned concerned toward their friend who struggled to reign in muffled whimpers.
"Is it Emma?" Ruby asked quietly. Regina nodded, using the forearm of her free hand to cover her eyes as she released breathy sobs before curling her head into her arm and letting her tears flow freely.
Tina moved in, burying the older woman in a hug and in moments the other two joined in as Regina cried into their embrace.
"Why are they crying?" Henry whispered as he and Graham glanced into the living room to see all four women huddled up, eyes burning red, tissues littering the floor, and the tub of ice cream shared between them.
The Sheriff looked up to the screen to see an elderly couple lying in a bed whispering to each other, and it all clicked. "They're watching The Notebook."
"That's the TV," Henry pointed out with a giggle.
Soon enough the credits rolled allowing Henry the opportunity to bound into the darkened living room and climb on top of the tangle of women before settling in a crevice in front of Regina's chest and against Ruby's calf.
"Hi Mommy." He held her cheeks in his hands and kissed her nose before wiping away the tear tracks. "You sad again?"
She held him tightly and scooted forward, freeing herself from being the human cushion and stood up. Sniffling once, she pressed her lips to his cheek. "The movie was sad."
"Don't watch it," Henry demanded simply, making the adults in the room grin.
"Good idea." Grabbing the remote, Regina clicked the TV off and placed Henry back on the ground. "Go upstairs, and we'll get ready for bed."
As soon as the boy was out of the room, Regina turned stiffly toward her friends and held herself around the middle. Despite talking with them for the past hour, confirming their fears and admitting her worries, Regina felt more exposed than ever as they stared expectantly at her.
Graham was the first to move, wishing Regina a good night and getting out of their hair. Robotically, Regina began cleaning up the living room until she reached for a wine glass still half full and Kathryn grabbed at her hand.
"Regina," Kathryn soothed softly. "You don't have to go through this alone. She's just missing. She could turn up anywhere."
"Please don't do that," Regina begged quietly, her gaze firmly on the glass and her voice thick with emotion. "Don't promise me that she's fine."
"But—"
"It's been three months, Kathryn. Don't you think I know what the odds of her survival are?" Regina straightened up and for a second the progress they had made in the last hour was gone with a simple glare before Regina blinked, pressing her fingertips to her forehead as she shook her head.
"But she's Emma," Tina piped up.
Glassy-eyed, Regina turned her back and walked out of the room. "I'll let you know when we can do this again."
Though none of the women were surprised, they were disappointed when Regina never called them up to organize or partake in another ladies night, though she never denied them when they singularly showed up to her house or office just to check in. If the possibility that all four of them could be in the same room, Regina made some excuse that she had paperwork to sign or Henry had some lessons or other, which was a complete lie since Ruby had an in with the farm hand who ran the riding lessons Henry had been enrolled in previous years, and the little Mills hadn't shown up yet. Regina couldn't do it. Facing all three of them when their faces showed pity. It's not pity, she could already hear Tina say.
Even if it wasn't, every day that went by where Regina habitually checked her mailbox or sat in front of the television absorbing any source of international news and Emma went unheard from made that tiny string of hope that somehow Henry's map could lead her home tear strand by strand.
One month became two. Henry had turned five, and there was no surprise message from Emma or even Uncle August to bring an obnoxious present. True to word, August had sent a postcard hailing all the way from Germany along with a keychain and a promise he'd get Henry something special. The party was smaller than she had ever had for him, five of Henry's closest friends, and though she was at liberty to invite Aunty Kat, Aunty Ruby, and Ms. Bell, Regina managed to keep herself occupied for the entire day to avoid the women's insistent stare.
Then summer was here, and Henry was out of school, and Emma should have been home six months ago, and every time Regina opened her closet door, she would automatically glance down at the bag filled with Emma's things and force her eyes back up to match her blazer with her skirt because if she remembered the way Emma had teased her about being so formal all the time she was going to rip apart her closet.
What broke her heart the most was how innocently optimistic Henry had been. It was late August when Henry had pulled her from the front yard where she was gardening and past the gates.
"It's Emma!" Henry jumped up and down and pointed down the street, and Regina's breath caught in her throat so hard she choked back a gasp as she followed her son's sight line to a retreating figure jogging down the sidewalk.
Pale skin. Yellow hair. White tank top. It couldn't be.
"Emma!" Henry called out, letting go of his mother's hand to sprint after the jogger. "Emma found us!"
"Henry!" Regina raced after him, the spade in her hand dropped at the edge of her gate and her sun hat flying off with her speed.
As she got closer, Regina could see defined arms and a toned build, and her heart leaped in her chest. Whether she was chasing after Henry or running with him was a toss up, but when he caught up with the jogger and she turned around, Regina's steps faltered.
Alice Hatter. Henry's friend's mother, and most definitely not Emma.
Alice tugged earbuds out of her ear, panting lightly as she smiled down at Henry. "Hi, Henry. Paige is at home right now."
The boy looked confusedly up at his friend's mother, his face furrowed in concentration before Regina caught up to him, pressing him against her with her arms around his shoulders.
"Good morning Mayor Mills," Alice said timidly, and after receiving a short nod, continued on with her jog.
The two Mills watched her depart, and Regina cursed herself for letting her hope manifest in a delusion that Emma was simply running around in Storybrooke.
"I thought it was Emma," Henry apologized, eyes cast downwards in shame.
Regina crouched by him and held him around the shoulders.
"My map didn't work." He leaned forward hiding his face in his mother's neck. "But I mailed it and everything!"
Regina shut her eyes, hating that she had picked the sealed envelope with Henry's map from her mailbox because she knew it would just return back to them. It was locked safely away in her office drawer, and she was just superstitious enough to believe that maybe if she had gone through with the mailing then Emma would have actually found her way home by now.
"It's okay, Henry," Regina whispered, kissing the top of his head. "I thought so too."
The seasons changed more quickly than Regina had anticipated. Summer cooled, giving way to Fall. Henry had started senior kindergarten, and he was secretly loving the fact that Regina called him a senior, though when Aunty Ruby tacked on 'citizen' to the word, he frowned and gave her the silent treatment for half a day.
Regina kept herself busy to the point where all she did was work and go home to Henry. She made sure local businesses were up to regulation code, forcing deadlines to be met in only barely reasonable expectations. By October, she was already in full preparation mode for Storybrooke's Thanksgiving Day parade, but it was in October where Regina couldn't hide behind her work or her son to escape the feeling that constantly gnawed away at her in her unconscious thought.